A Buddhist monk explains to a young scholar that he can choose a live of erotic pleasure, which will be followed by pain – or a life of moderation (followed by more moderation). He chooses pleasure. Thus begins 3D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy, the hottest porn ticket in mainstream theatres in Hong Kong and Taiwan. The story is based on a 17th century Chinese novel, The Carnal Prayer Mat by Li Lu. It was turned into a famous HK sex movie in 1991. Now in a US $3.5 million production, it has two famous porn actresses from Japan, plus stars from HK and mainland China. Advertised as the first erotic film in 3D and IMAX, it has beaten out Hollywood blockbusters for ticket sales in HK and Taiwan. It opened on 73 screens in HK and 77 in Taiwan. Sex sells. 

While the scholar and his buddy are committed to fucking around, the story immediately shifts with the appearance of the beautiful daughter of a Taoist priest, who on spying the young scholar, decides he is the one. A lavish wedding follows, at which an exemplary old loving couple are honoured, showing the joys of lifelong commitment. They are dismissed by the scholar as boring artifacts.

The scholar is an amateur on matters of sex, and fails to satisfy his wife, though he seems to enjoy himself. He wanders off to the sanctuary of a Duke, who has a lavish art collection and a cave full of hot babes, usually with fabulous hair and opulent jewelry. Lots of heaving naked breasts, and the orgasmic cries of young females (with perfect skin and clean hands). Wife is not happy. A divorce results, leaving the scholar in the glories of the Duke’s brothel. 

To proceed further on his path of erotic learning, the scholar is introduced to the “Elder of Ultimate Bliss”, a hot woman with a male voice and an eight foot penis. She whips her penis around like a cowboy at a rodeo. She lassoes a wagon wheel, raises it up and smashes it on the ground. 

She will lead the young scholar into the next stage of ecstasy but with certain conditions. The first is penis replacement. While it had seemed the scholar was doing well in the Duke’s pleasure palace, the shocking truth is revealed that he has a tiny penis. There is actually a frontal picture of the tiny sausage (about the only time we actually see a real penis in the movie).

In the middle of this sex movie, we have a short slapstick comedy with two incompetents attempting to do the penis replacement. Their master has died (killed by a patient with a botched penis replacement, as it turns out). Scholar asks for the equipment of a horse. His little thing is severed, but before the horse penis can be attached, it is dropped and squashed by slapstick accident. When they attempt to reattach his original little wiener, it drops on the floor and a dog chews it in half. Luckily a donkey appears outside the window, and his member is quickly severed and attached. So scholar now has a 14-inch phallus. The hottest sex scenes of the film roll out, as he satisfies ten at a time, and still has stamina.

But our favorite dominatrix, the "Elder of Ultimate Bliss" reappears to impose a final condition on master scholar. He is to steal a ‘golden plate’ from the art collection of the Duke, who at the moment is passed out drunk in the arms of six topless women. Scholar is caught in the theft attempt, disgraced, imprisoned, beaten and castrated. His wife tries to save him, only to be brutally raped in front of him. Sexual heaven has turned into brutal hell. The Buddhist monk from the beginning scenes is seduced, and commits suicide. The "Elder of Ultimate Bliss" explodes. Everything goes wrong. 

We end at another wedding. This time it is the scholar and his (divorced) wife who are the model of the true loving couple who have been brought to the wedding as an inspiration for the new bride and groom. They are lost in each others joy, though she is locked in a 20-lb iron chastity belt and he has no penis. 

HK has a film classification system, so the film can be shown to those 18 and over. Censorship means that intercourse itself is not shown and no erect penises. There is lesbian side action, a standard feature in heterosexual porn. The main feature of the film is the harem of beautiful young women. Lots of bare breasts and heaving chests. The moralistic aspects of the story, perhaps, are seen as allowing the depiction of erotic excess (for a dire price is paid in the end for those pleasures). 

Mainland China has no film classification system, so erotic films simply get banned. PRC Chinese are including a Sex and Zen ticket with a shopping trip to HK. Lots of sex magazines are for sale in HK, including a few Chinese language gay titles from HK and Taiwan. The biggest porn industries in Asia today seem to be in Confucian influenced societies. Thailand does not really have much of a porn industry. Real sex is so easily available here, it competes with fantasy. 

Douglas Sanders is a retired Canadian law professor living in Bangkok. He can be contacted at sanders_gwb@yahoo.ca.