7 May 2001

gay men and the gym

For gay men, going to the gym is almost a religious event. We look at some of the habits, personalities, and truths behind this obsession with the body beautiful.

It is 7 pm on a Monday evening, the gym locker room at a popular gym in town is at its busiest. Filled with executive types eager to work off the excesses of the weekend, it seems to be a normal day at the gym. Is it? Look carefully and one sees the stolen glances thrown at the hunkier specimens. These are not simple lust-filled, fantasy driven looks only but sometimes ego shrivelling indictments when comparisons are made to bodies that are suffering the effects of a sedentary lifestyle.

Randy and Liang Huat are typical gym goers working towards a body that they can be comfortable with as well as one which will be attractive to others. They view their bodies with a mixture of distaste as well as pride. Distaste since they think they can never measure up to the pumped up physiques they see around them and pride that their hard work and diligence are producing results though maybe not at the speed that they would like. They discuss their day and the conversation meanders to the supplements they are taking as well as what body part they are training that day. Both of the men are regulars and average four days a week at the gym. They have been gym buddies for a while now and have found the partnership to be beneficial to their shared goals. It also helps that both are gay and thus they find it easy to discuss that cutie that just walked in.

As they walk out onto the gym floor, the driving house music that normally blares over the sound system, adds to the frenetic energy. The occasional clanging of weights attest to the serious business of building a better body. A counsellor passes by with a couple of slim guys in tow who look furtively at a group of bodybuilder types. Their initial trepidation is assuaged when they see a personal trainer coaching a guy in his late twenties, whose stick like arms and growing paunch make Randy and Liang Huat seem to be Greek gods in comparison. The gym is crowded even though it covers three whole floors. Fitness is big business. As one enters the gym, fit and toned staffmembers are on hand to welcome you smiles straight out of a Colgate commercial. Rows of treadmill machines and Stairmasters are in use with more people waiting to take over.

Randy and Liang Huat are not alone in this search of a physical ideal. The clientele of this gym as well as others like it, are also filled by our straight brothers and sisters who are no less caught up in the sweaty rituals towards the achievement of the perfect body.-- Most gay men would admit that they would not mind having a nice toned physique and actually admire (if not downright slobber) when presented with the sight of well-toned pecs and abs. The pursuit of the body beautiful has seen the proliferation of fitness centres all over the world.

The reasons for going to the gym are as various as the types of people who go. In today's modern world where we tend to be more sedentary than active, the incidence of being overweight and unfit has increased with diminished manual labour. The most strain that our bodies undergo is probably walking to the car or carrying those heavy shopping bags! Many men and women who fit this physical profile join a gym or health club to wage battle against flab and reap the benefits of increased fitness. One of these is of course looking and feeling better.
Randy says "...going to the gym makes me feel better about myself and it boosts my ego when I see the results. It also doesn't hurt that I now look good in a tank top!" "Yeah, now when I go out to the clubs, I also seem to get more guys looking at me" says Liang Huat.

However, many men, especially gay men, seem to go to the gym for vanity, the benefits of fitness being a bonus. Is this a generalisation? Do gay men care about the way they look more than straight men? Do we have self-esteem issues that drives us to the gym? The answer is that health is more than skin-deep, as our well-being is very much influenced by it. Fitness goes well beyond mere vanity. Nothing turns off people more than a man who cannot pull himself away from preening in front of a mirror. That said, it would seem that we do tend to preen in front of the mirror more than is healthy. Observing the two men as they pass out of the locker room seems to bear this out as they unconsciously check themselves out in the mirror. They do this more than a few times throughout their workout.

What seems to be an over-concern with body image is not something that only gay men are afflicted with. For some it has become a downright obsession. Nowadays eating disorders are increasingly affecting men as well as women. Fitness and muscularity were not so hyped up before the 70s. The media was not bombarding the public with images that suggest that physical appearance should be a basis to judge a man's self-esteem. The media would seem to be the culprit that has been extolling various body types as being the ideal. That explains how our perceptions of female beauty has fluctuated from the voluptuous to stick thin (a la Twiggy), waif-like (Kate Moss) to the fit but still busty images crowding the pages of beauty magazines.

Now, the media as well as Hollywood seems to be ganging up by putting forward images of a 'super male' type that many now compare themselves unfavourably against. We have Antonio Sabato Jr. standing many times bigger than life in Times Square, promoting CK underwear in what else... underwear of course. This is not just aimed at the female population but also to the hordes of gay men whom the media moguls have increasing found out to be in possession of a vast spending power. Watched by millions the world over, Baywatch flaunts hard bodied lifeguards. The programme reinforces this perfect body image and the concomitant benefits of having such a body. These images are linked to success... social, financial and sexual. The message we get is that we are judged by how we look. It has resulted in many being dissatisfied with their bodies.
For gay men the problem can sometimes be more acute. With all the stigma that has been heaped upon gay men, these images render them more insecure and superficial. The perception is that gay men are more concerned about physical beauty, simply because more gay men tend to take better care of their bodies. William, a gay man and avid gym goer in his 30s says "..I started lifting weights to improve my appearance.I felt that it would make me more confident because I'll be more muscular and sporty looking. Now if I miss out one of my workouts, I would feel terrible. When I start to lose a little muscle mass, I start to feel in secure again". William is an attractive man whose physique is good enough to grace a muscle magazine but his self image is not commensurate. Men like William seem to be more the norm now than 20 or 30 years ago. Increasingly many are also resorting to quick fix solutions like liposuction and steroids to achieve the perceived ideal body.

However these people still constitute the minority with many being well-adjusted individuals who do not live in the gym. More gay men take care of their bodies because the sad fact is that beauty is attractive and people tend to be attracted to beauty. A man who grew up being called a "sissy" may want to work to achieve a more "manly" body in order to counteract negative self - esteem when he was younger. Being a victim of creative advertising does not necessarily undermine a man's self worth nor his value in the eyes of others.

Randy opines that he is "..attracted to a guy not just because he looks good. His character, personality, intelligence, the way they care about themselves, etc. While I still get turned on by a 'hot body', I'm looking for a guy whom I find 'attractive' on many levels, the whole package so to speak". So there is hope it seems! Many men I spoke to tend to subscribe to this view. Most agree that after the initial meeting, if the guy does not seem to possess anything more than a beautiful body, long term interest is unlikely.

Perhaps, the perception that gay men tend to be more preoccupied with physical beauty stem from the possibility that although straight men can be more vocal about their appreciation of beautiful women, they find it unusual when that vocal attention is directed towards their own gender. The other positive element that has cropped up from many conversations with men concerning this subject is the growing number of men who are not looking for someone with a marvellous physique, but for someone who will actually love them - and whom they can love and care in return - despite the limits of physicality. Men who seek the heart, more than just the meat.