Gosh, has it been that many years?

The karate-kicking, pizza-loving Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles first appeared in comic books in 1984 and quickly became cartoon icons for kids all over the world. Thanks to their phenomenal popularity, boys everywhere started addressing each other as "dudes".

Well it has been 14 years since their last movie, and TMNT marks their return to the big screen in glorious CGI animation. The haphazard plot involves four crime-fighting turtles named after Italian painters; the turtles' enemy the Foot Clan (whose leader is voiced by Zhang Ziyi), 13 ancient stone warrior statues, 13 monsters and an assortment of other good and bad characters.

Though the computer-generated animation is definitely an improvement from the early hand-drawn animation as well as the actors wearing turtle suits in the movie version, it does not change the fact that TMNT feels really dumb, outdated and totally un-gay. If we didn't have to review it for you, we certainly wouldn't have bothered watching it.