The incident occurred on 22 January when Marco Bulmer-Rizzi, 38, was carrying the cremated remains of his husband, David Bulmer-Rizzi through Hong Kong International Airport on the way back to the UK from Australia.

Marco Bulmer-Rizzi’s husband died on their honeymoon in Australia after falling down a flight of stairs. The country’s refusal to recognise same-sex marriage meant the death certificate stated that David was “never married,” causing much distress to Bulmer-Rizzi.

As Bulmer-Rizzi was transferring in Hong Kong—where same-sex marriage is not recognised—security officials spotted the ashes as they went through the X-ray scanner.

“I was taken to one side and she said, ‘What’s in this box?’” Bulmer-Rizzi told BuzzFeed News. “She wanted to open the box. And I said,

‘These are human remains. It’s my husband. My husband died while we were in Australia. She just looked at me and said, ‘I need to take this away.’”

“I put my hand down [on the box] and said, ‘No, you can’t. I need to see your supervisor.’” The official’s manager arrived to find Bulmer-Rizzi in a state of distress.

“I felt like I was losing him again,” he said. “All I wanted was to be able to travel with David’s ashes on me so he wouldn’t have to travel back by himself.” Eventually the manager over-ruled the guard and returned the ashes.

Marco Bulmer-Rizzi blames the British Foreign Office for the trouble he experiences as he approached the British Consulate in Melbourne.

“The government could have simply issued me a letter saying I was David’s next of kin. My government should step up,” said Bulmer-Rizzi.

“There was nothing in place,” he said, adding that there was no information for LGBT people on the Foreign Office website. “They weren’t aware. It came as a complete surprise to them that somebody who is in a same-sex marriage might find themselves in a position where they’re not recognised as the next of kin.