"It's funny cos other members of the band say 'Oh, come on, everyone has fantasies about lesbian things' and I'm like 'Do they?' I'm straight. I'm very straight. I've got a lot of gay friends but there's no confusion in my mind about my sexuality."

- Mel C clearing the air on her sexuality in an interview

There once was a time when a juvenile Ms Scary would go into a sapphic swoon every time anyone mentions Melanie C aka The Artiste Formerly Known As Sporty Spice. With her trademark fluorescent Adidas tracksuit and her oh-so-manly kung-fu kicks and back-flips, Mel C was every femme's dream butch come true.

Following a two-year hiatus after the release of Northern Star, the Liverpudian lass with the penchant for football just released her new album Reason. Reincarnated as a dead-ringer for Posh Spice (before she became a walking stick insect), Mel C is back with a slimmer and healthier look and a collection of 12 songs.

True to her reputation as the only one in the Spice Girls to have even an ounce of real talent, Mel C co-writes 11 out of the 12 tracks with collaborators as diverse as Marius De Vries (Moulin Rouge), Peter-John Vettese (Jethro Tull) and Guy Chambers (Robbie Williams). Despite sounding more mature and polished on her second solo outing, the collection of soulful ballads and rock-guitar driven pop on Reason are unfortunately, very middle-of-the-road.

The first single off Reason, "Here It Comes Again", has Mel C sounding like a harridan while trying to compete with out-of-control guitar licks stolen from Suede. The rest of the album does not fare any better - most of the tracks are so mind-numbingly dull and devoid of any pop worth that Ms Scary was tempted to do a Spice Girls and split.

As if realizing that her listeners would by now be lulled into a somnambulistic state by the sheer unremarkability of Reason, Mel C decides to end the album with a flourish by kicking into brazen rock chick mode with "Let's Love" and "Yeh, Yeh, Yeh" where she attempts to do a Donna Summer before giving up and switching to noisy stadium rock.

Overall, only three tracks really stand out: the piano-infused title track with its moving melodies and heart-felt lyrics; "Do I", the Mel C answer to "Viva Forever" and "Two Become One"; and "Positively Somewhere", a self-affirmative pop/rock concoction that every down and out lesbian should pay a listen to.

Despite that, Reason fails to live up to the promise hinted at in Northern Star. Hence, while Mel C may eventually become the post-Spice Girls' equivalent of Robbie Williams, this album only proves that she still has a long way to go before solo success beckons - or as she sings so ironically: "I'm here going nowhere and that's how I want it to stay" ("Positively Somewhere").