Giving Snowball a miss this year because you lack the fashion talent to pull together a fabulous party outfit? What a pret-a-pity!
From the top: Bride With White Hair, Madonna in a white cowboy hat and mink coat, Zao in 'Die Another Day' and Galadriel in 'The Lord of The Rings.'
Guaranteed to sizzle (not fizzle) and melt away any competition at one of the most eagerly anticipated Christmas homo-party, Fridae is proud to present its seven Snowball Looks:
Look 1: Bride With White Hair
Who's She: Played by the eternally beautiful Brigette Lin Ching Hsia, the bride is the quintessential betrayed woman with prehensile hair and violent psychokinetic powers. In Part 2, she surrounds herself with a cadre of man-haters who have been wronged, spurned or trodden upon by the men in their lives (so drama!).
Her Look: Classic Chinese gong-fu outfit with flowing sleeves and chiffon overlays plus miles of white nylon for hair and cruel-looking make-up.
Most Suitable For: Man-hating lesbians, bitter girlies with tragic love histories or any recent dumpee seeking revenge.
Quote: "Men. See One. Kill One." (To be delivered in venom dripping Mandarin please)
Look 2: Abominable Snow Man
Who's It: A mythical creature rumored to be living in the Himalaya Mountains, the Abominable Snow Man is a hairy biped with an exhibitionistic streak and enjoys running around naked in sperm-freezing temperatures.
It's Look: Utterly naked except for a coat of fur, fur and more fur. (Note: Cross reference with the snow creature or Whampa in The Empire Strikes Back, 1980)
Most Suitable For: Hairy bears who like to go topless or chubbs with a fur fetish.
Quote: Animalistic howls usually heard in bedrooms of gay men everywhere.
Look 3: Madonna in "Music"
Who's She: Fashion-forward queens and trend whores may condemn this look as so five minutes ago, but it's perfect for Snowball! Singularly credited for reviving interest in gaudy rhinestone encrusted Western outfits, Madonna's "Music" video has her partying with her girlie entourage in a gold-flecked limousine as she cruises the streets in search of the best parties.
Her Look: A "ghetto fabulous" all-white pimp ensemble (preferably from Gucci) topped with white cowboy hat and a suffocating mink coat.
Most Suitable For: Power Dykes with a harem in tow or any Material Girl.
Quote: "Music makes the people come together."
Look 4: Mr. Freeze (Batman & Robin)
Who's He: Formerly known as Dr. Victor Fries, Mr. Freeze sends a chill up Gotham City's spine as the Batman's "coldest" adversary. Played by Arnold Schwarzenegger in the campy Batman & Robin, Mr. Freeze is a brilliant scientist in the field of cryogenics and comes armed with a laser-powered freeze gun.
His Look: A silver-blue metallic spacesuit with blinking fairy lights all over, blue pancake makeup, Arnold Schwarzenegger type muscles and a freeze gun.
Most Suitable For: Muscle Marys with big "pistols" (no, that's not an oxymoron).
Quote: "No matter what they tell you Mr. Bane, it is the size of your gun that matters."
Look 5: White Queen (New X-Men)
Who's She: The current substitute Headmistress at the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning, Emma Frost is a first class telepath capable of firing psionic bolts and transforming herself into a walking Tiffany diamond. The former White Queen of the Hell Fire Club, this ex-villainess turned X-Man is one mean bitch whose attitude is as deadly as her mutant powers.
From the top: Bride With White Hair, Madonna in a white cowboy hat and mink coat, Zao in 'Die Another Day' and Galadriel in 'The Lord of The Rings.'
Most Suitable For: Twinkies with an attitude or well-bred poodles used to a life of privilege.
Quote (from New X-Men #116):
Jean Grey (Phoenix): "What makes you such a bitch Emma?"
Emma: "Breeding darling, top class breeding."
Look 6: Zao in Die Another Day
Who's He: One of the more physically distinctive villains in recent James Bond history, Zao (played by the picture-perfect Rick Yune) was a North Korean General before he was "disfigured" by an explosion which caused a bunch of "African Conflict Diamonds" to be embedded in his gorgeous face (ouch).
His Look: Intimidating bald hunk with powdered over eyebrows, ice-blue contact lenses, trendy threads and face-embedded diamonds (facial scarring optional).
Most Suitable For: Balding gay men or trendoids in a current "bald is beautiful" phase.
Quote:
James Bond: "You know, I've missed your sparkling personality."
Zao: [punching Bond in the stomach] "How's that for a punch line?"
Look 7: Galadriel in The Lord of The Rings
Who's She: Stand aside Eowyn! Bow down Arwen! There's only one true beauty in The Lord of The Rings trilogy and that's Galadriel (sorry Legolas!). As Queen of the elven realm of Lorien, Galadriel (played by Cate Blanchett) is also known as the Lady of Light and The White Lady. Although well advanced in age, Galadriel remains the greatest beauty of the House of Finwe and a wielder of great power.
Her Look: A gossamer gown of bolted white lace fabric decorated with leaf motifs. Full sleeves are essential as are a skirt with an extended train-type hemline. To complete the look: a pair of elven ears and a crisp Cambridge accent.
Most Suitable For: Gay men who remain well preserved beyond their years - you know who you are.
Quote: "I pass the test I will diminish, and go into the West, and remain Galadriel."
Other notables who did not make the list include: Sadako from The Ring, Snow White, Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters, Frosty The Snowman, Wong Jo Yin in countless Chinese Ghost Stories, Santa Claus/Santarina and his/her bunch of elves, Lucy Liu's O-Ren-Ishii in Kill Bill Vol. 1, the Snow Queen, and demented Icelandic singer Bjork.
(If you have more outrageous ideas for party outfits, kindly post your suggestions at the Snowball Forum Thread. See you at Snowball!)
Latest updates:
- Meltdown Recovery tickets are sold out. Limited tickets will be available at the door at China Black on Dec 28 on a first come first serve basis after midnight. Doors open at 10pm.
- SnowBall Presale tickets are only available Towel Club, Re- (Hereen), Jox (Chinatown Point), Estique (Pacific Plaza) and The Box. Online ticket sales have closed.