Libay Linsangan Cantor is a 28-year-old who lives in Quezon City within Metro Manila, Philippines. She is the co-founder of the Philippines' first university-based lesbian organization, UP (University of the Philippines) Sappho Society.
Libay has also written short stories as well as screenplays for film and television, some of which got produced and won awards.
About Libay
æ: When did you realise you were gay or lesbian? What was the process like?
libay: I never realized I was a lesbian but I had sort of an inkling when I was in high school. Gender was never an issue when it came to attraction. That early, I got attracted to girls as well as boys. Only later did I recognize that my attraction to girls was stronger than with boys, but I never identified as a lesbian.
In fact, I was a bit homophobic about the issue because I thought all lesbians had the image of being pseudo-men or women who wanted to be/look/act/dress like men. So I underwent the typical heterosexual way, dating boys and having boyfriends. But right after college, I met a girl my age who looked just like your typical girl friend: she had long hair, wore some make-up, dressed in a very feminine way, and acted in a feminine way. But she identified herself as a lesbian.
Later, I learned that that was called being a "femme." And through her, I learned that not all lesbians imbibed the notion of being a "man trapped in a woman's body," the notion that made me homophobic that time. And eventually, she introduced me to other lesbians like her as well as lesbians who were organized and had strong political-feminist backgrounds. My type of people, actually. That girl and I had a brief relationship, and within the course of that relationship, I discovered that that was who I really am - a lesbian. And I was happy and proud of the discovery.
æ: Are you out to family and friends? If yes, could you tell us something about it? Is it an important factor in your life?
libay: I openly declare my sexual orientation to my friends, some co-workers and acquaintances who ask, and to some relatives. I never declared it openly to my parents. I'm not that close to my parents and we're not the kind of family that talks about these types of things all the time, and in an open way. But through some of my relatives who apparently heard it through the grapevine and made it their business to intrigue my parents, my parents already know about it now.
Though some years ago, I alluded to it when I was talking with my mother. But now, they both know since I moved in with my girlfriend, and they have met my girlfriend already. We don't declare "she's my girlfriend etc" when we talk to them; it's an automatic assumption that, I suppose, they themselves are afraid to talk about openly, and with us.
This is important to me because being a lesbian is who I am, and I'm concerned with having my loved ones learn about who I really am. No pretensions. So if my mother accepts it but is still having a hard time talking about it openly with me, then I respect her stance. Some relatives told me that "it's okay if you are a lesbian. It doesn't mean we love you less." so with those words of encouragement, I continue on with my life with a smile.
æ: Do you believe in monogamous or open relationships? Are you in one?
libay: I believe in monogamous relationships because I don't subscribe to the idea of spreading yourself and making yourself available to other people; that's so emotionally tiring, not to mention physically tiring as well. I believe that when a woman wants a truly caring and loving relationship, then she has to focus on the chemistry and the interaction of herself in relation to her girlfriend, and vice versa.
æ: What kind of pet do you have? Why?
libay: I love puppies, dogs. I used to have a puppy but he just passed away. He got infected by a virus. I've always loved dogs and puppies because like people, they can get sensitive and very loving.
Libay's Community
libay: Yes. I was asked by three friends to create the first university-based lesbian organization in the country, and I helped them. This became an important endeavor of my life because I get to share my experiences with young lesbians who are just beginning to experience the "real world" out there.
I'm there to help them, support, and most especially, to encourage - encourage them to be who they really are, and to never be afraid of doing that. I also teach them precautions. It's still harsh out there for us.
æ: Have you ever participated in any pro-gay or lesbian events/parties/workshops? If so, which?
libay: In our org, the UP Sappho Society, we always hold workshops and participate/ sponsor lesbian events and parties. I am highly involved with such activities, and support them by promoting them since I am in the media.
æ: What do you think we need most in Asia's gay and lesbian community?
libay: Recognition with respect. Recognition from the society in general, recognition that this kind of relationship is existing, and therefore things that construe the development of this should be redefined. Respect for gays and lesbians, because when we assess the bottom line, gays and lesbians are also humans, therefore the proper human rights provisions should be afforded them also.
Aprs Interview
æ: Tell us something about your first sexual experience?
libay: Well, it was dark, so dark, that I didn't know what was happening, really. And it was full of surprises.
æ: What's the stupidest pick-up line you've ever heard?
libay: "Can't we be friends?"
æ: Towel or tissue?
libay: Tissue.