æ: Tell us a bit about yourself?

kelly: I was born and raised in Sydney, but I finally got bored with high pressure jobs in the computer industry (this was before the trendy dot com days even started!) so I escaped to Thailand for a complete change of lifestyle - my "mid-life crisis". I lived in Thailand for about 8 years, and while I was there I started the dreaded ned's web site as an experiment to see what this web stuff was all about - it was so much fun (and much better than robbing banks like the original dreaded ned!) I thought I just have to try and make this into a real job somehow.

Now I spend 2/3's of my time in Sydney and 1/3 of my time in Thailand and hopefully soon in other parts of Asia running ned's and a small web design company that has grown out of it.

æ: Have you ever participated in any pro-gay or lesbian events/parties/workshops? If so, which?

kelly: The first Bangkok Gay Festival in 1999 was probably one of my strongest experiences of "gay pride" for quite a while. I was not involved in the organisation at all (though ned's is an official sponsor), but just being in Silom Road on the night of the parade, taking pictures for the web site and talking to so many people from the region that where there to be "gay" for the day because they could not be at home, stirred my usually cynical heart more than I would have expected. Watching the Mardi Gras parade in Sydney this year didn't do quite the same thing for me, though it has in the past!

æ: Have you ever encountered prejudice because of your gender/sexuality? How did you deal with it?

kelly: I have been fairly lucky in not encountering anything that significant personally at school or work in the past, but it has been more interesting over the last few years now that I am trying to run and promote an obviously gay business - you eventually get used to the initial interest in your site statistics then no further response from conservative advertisers when they realise what the site content is!

A rep from one of the major ad networks admitted to me that he would not know which of his customers to approach about advertising on ned's because "what would gays be interested in buying online, other than porn". At the other extreme a lot of companies want to get on the gay bandwagon just to get some of those lovely pink dollars.

æ: What advice would you give to someone who is trying to come to terms with his or her sexuality?

kelly: Don't let the bastards get you down - and remember you are not alone, turn to others around you for support and help. The Internet is not a universal panacea and indeed can be very dangerous territory, but for many it can be a safe or indeed the only way to contact others or get information.

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About Kelly

æ: When did you realise you were gay? What was the process like?

kelly: It was fairly obvious to me that I was gay by the time I was 13 or 14 - but despite being in a number of classic stereotyped environments such as attending an all-boys school and even a stint in the Boy Scouts, nothing much happened to confirm that for a number of years - I am sure I missed a lot of opportunities and subtle overtures and didn't really have the confidence to follow up on a few others, at least not till I got to university and joined the campus gay group and started moving a bit in the gay scene.

æ: Are you out to family and friends? If yes, could you tell us something about it? Is it an important factor in your life?

kelly: I am a fairly private person, and don't really see that my being gay, or anything else in my personal life, is really anybody else's business.

People who are close to me know I am gay, as do many others - I don't go out of my way to hide it, but I don't really flaunt it either (well, apart from running the web site, etc). If people don't like it then it is their problem, they can go away, or ignore it or whatever, provided they don't expect me to change my lifestyle just because they are not happy with it.

æ: Do you believe in monogamous or open relationships? Are you in one?

kelly: A couple of years ago, before the start of my current relationship, I would not have really described myself as a relationship person, monogamous or otherwise! I think the most important thing is that both partners have to agree on the rules then stick to i, or agree to change the rules.

æ: What's your favourite CD?

kelly: Depending on the mood, either anything by the Academy of Ancient Music, otherwise anything by Elton John or Bette Midler.

æ: What kind of pet do you have? Why?

kelly: I don't have a pet, but was seriously considering one of those Sony robot dogs - much more my style I think.

Apr�s Interview

æ: What's the stupidest pick-up line you've ever heard?

kelly: "Don't you think the walls are looking strikingly perpendicular tonight" - at the end of a dreary night of cruising it was almost but not quite enough to get me interested in checking it out from a horizontal position.

æ: Which is sexier, mind or meat?

kelly: While I used to get quite excited about philosophical debates back in my university days it was not that type of "excited" so I suppose I have to say meat, but "well hung but mindless" gets a bit boring after a while too, so can I say both?

æ: Towel or tissue?

kelly: Shower?