Not too long ago I read from a Hong Kong lesbian web site a message posted in Chinese that said, "Being a TB, I will take the responsibility to bind my breasts; wear a baseball cap, so that I can walk my girl home at night. It is my duty to ensure her safety. Even though I am, too, a woman, people cannot tell immediately whether I am a man or not. That way, I can at least deter any unwelcome remarks or sexist slurs coming our way."
"A TB is someone who dresses in a masculine way and who loves to take care of girls, whereas a TBG is just like a regular heterosexual girl, but is attracted to us TBs."
The "tomboy" (TB) and "tomboy's girl" (TBG) scene, as it is called, is analogous to the butch-femme subculture found in many Western societies. No one seems to know when the TB and TBG subculture in Hong Kong emerged or how it has become the popular scene for the local lesbian circle. Some argued that TB and TBG relationships involve the oppressive gender role-playing that is prevalent in many heterosexual relationships. Others, however, insist that TB and TBG subculture helps to facilitate social interaction among women in same-sex relationships who are searching for potential partners; to shape and maintain the visibility of a lesbian lifestyle.
I interviewed Field and her friend on a Tuesday evening. Both just got off from work and were hungry. As we were walking along the street and looking for a place to sit down and eat, I couldn't help but noticed the contrasting way they dressed - Field was all casual - sporting a light yellow oversized T-shirt, navy blue utilities pants and a pair of Nike shoes. Boyish but for her beautiful, big eyes and long lashes. Her friend, who preferred to be called "Biscuit", was clad in an Episode suit. She looked comfortable enough with her body to show her legs and curves. Her femininity was accentuated by the way her handbag was clasped under her arm and the way she walked on high heels, side by side with Field.
After dinner, I got down to business and asked Field right away, "How do you define a TB?"
"A TB is someone who dresses in a masculine way and who loves to take care of girls," explained the 24-year-old self-identified TB. "Whereas a TBG is just like a regular heterosexual girl, but is attracted to us TBs. Even without these labels, two women in a relationship will still assign a role for themselves - the masculine one takes care of the girl, and the feminine one enjoys being taken care of." Biscuit agreed, "I have nothing against labels, but I am not particularly for them, either. Labels are not important. It is rather the concept of identity that is rooted so deeply in our culture that people tend to label each other the first time they meet."
"I generally find women with short hair attractive; an 'I-am-a-dyke-so-what?' attitude glinting from their eyes is a plus."
"They are better than men because they are not men, and thus know how to please and understand women better.
"I love being taken care of," continued Biscuit, "and TBs seem to be very good at it. They are thoughtful, possessive, and know how to make you feel good in every subtle way. I think that's what makes them so cute." Biscuit has been involved in a committed relationship for almost 3 years, her lover, however, belongs to neither label. "Well, my lover is not masculine looking. TBs are not defined by looks only. It is the way they carry themselves and how they treat their girlfriends as well. I generally find women with short hair attractive; an 'I-am-a-dyke-so-what?' attitude glinting from their eyes is a plus. So if a woman has short hair, looks invincible and self-assured, she is a TB in my eyes, regardless of what attire she happens to be in."
There are many TBs who insist that if they behave like traditionally feminine women, their behavior would not be natural to them. According to Field, "I am just trying to be myself. I don't dress this way or talk the way I do to make people know I am a TB. At times, under some special occasions, I will wear dresses, too. The last time I wore a fancy dress was in my sister's wedding. I got all dressed up and had to put make-up on my face. I was very uncomfortable with myself and all the lacy flowers dangling around my neck. I sulked all night. I was never happier when the horror was finally over!" Field mimed a shudder as she recalled the "torturous" night.
"I would love for my breasts to be smaller but since they're not going to shrink themselves, I will have to live with them."
It is not too difficult for the heterosexuals to assume how the TB and TBG relationship works. Given the differences in mannerisms and appearance, most would think that it is usually the TB who will put on a suit, go to work and bring home the money, while the TBGs will stay home and do housework. "That's not always true for every lesbian relationship," said Field, "though it is my responsibility to take care of my girlfriend, the fact is that she earns much more than I do. As much as I would like to pay for all the bills, buy her whatever she wants, sometimes it is just too much of a burden for me. I wish I could satisfy her more - financially."
And speaking of satisfying one's partner, one must come to the topic of sex.
"I don't take off my clothes when I make love to my girlfriend, she doesn't mind," confessed the slightly embarrassed Field. Field didn't have an explanation for her reluctance to be naked during sex but said it had nothing to do with hatred of her own body. "If I dislike my body that much I'd have chosen to have my breasts bound. But nothing in this world is gonna make me do that." Why? "It's just too hot in Hong Kong! I'm perfectly OK with the way my body looks. I would love for my breasts to be smaller but since they're not going to shrink themselves, I will have to live with them."
"I am attracted to feminine looking women but I am not a TB - I don't have spiky hair and I don't wear baggy pants or oversized shirts. I don't mind labeling but while the two most common ones don't apply to me, I don't see why I have to get out of my way to fit into one, either, " explained the soft spoken Betty, who wears a one-length-tug-behind-the-ears hairdo, a unisex T-shirt and well-fitted jeans.
"It is certainly not uncommon to find TBGs earning more than TBs and are providing for them. These relationships are not similar to heterosexual ones in the conventional economic sense at all."
Once you have been in the local lesbian circle long enough, you'll realize that "Pures" are the most invisible group of them all. The only way the community can identify their role with is their lovers. For a single "Pure", the community tends to treat them with confusion because of her "ambiguity."
When at work, not everyone can adhere to a TB dress code, I've heard of lesbians quitting their jobs simply because they refuse to wear skirts to work. And it is certainly not uncommon to find TBGs earning more than TBs and are providing for them. These relationships are not similar to heterosexual ones in the conventional economic sense at all.
The TB/TBG subculture will remain, whether it is for self-identifying purpose or because of the fascination with power like their heterosexist counterparts. TBs are not men, and they knew it. They won't call themselves "girls", either. Perhaps by insisting that they are neither men nor girls in the traditional roles decreed for them within our heterosexual and patriarchal society, they are revealing another way to be women - one way that is more emancipating and fulfilling.
And all the more dominating.
Vicky Yau
Made in Hong Kong
25% Pure
25% TB
25% Femme
25% Me
Do Not Tumble Dry