ZONE:

I used to think homosexuals are disgusting. and unnatural and weird and gross and abnormal. In church I would nod along fervently when my pastor condemns “the gays” and rightfully belong in hell. I felt secure in my self righteous thinking that homosexuals were societal deviants, to be ignored or at best, tolerated as one of those moral excesses of today’s modern world.

When a friend on my facebook list comment on a post by this SG Gay Confessions, I was rather disgusted. I know he is a straight and I warned him about accepting that homosexual lifestyle. Would we want our children raised in a world whereby sexual deviancy is embraced? We argued for long hours and when we met up in school, he gave me the cold shoulder. I angrily told his girlfriend he was committing a sin by encouraging the gays. Her response to me was “why do you project such hostile feelings towards people you don’t know? Do you even have gay friends?”

I started thinking about her questions and many others that followed. I even went to my pastor and asked him (his reply was that he worked with many homosexuals and view them as pitiful as sex workers!). I read up on a lot of academic arguments that sought to challenge the premise that homosexuality is a wrong moral choice. As there are no scientific conclusions that such a trait is inborn, both sides seem equally compelling. What deeply troubled me is that if it is purely a moral choice, why would so many choose to be “wrong”? I started to view homosexuals less as “moral criminals” and more as “gay people”. But by accepting gays & lesbians as just people, was I committing a moral wrong too?

My roommate came across my laptop one day that had a rather hostile blog post view of the homosexual lifestyle. He was upset about it until I explained that I was just researching on these arguments to try and decide where I stand. He then showed me this facebook page (again this forum!) and asked me to read the entries here. He said that he would give me an hour and then come back to tell me something.

I couldnt see the point in why he wanted me to read some gay confessions but since I was free that afternoon I read some. One hour didnt seem enough and by the time he returned to our room I was beginning to get it. Some stories made me laugh and some of you are very naughty! But many were sad stories and I felt bad for being part of the misunderstanding that makes gays feel they have to be hidden for who they are. Maybe these were what I needed to read to understand. 

So I wish to apologise to every gay, lesbian and transgender who have been hurt by my ignorance. After I said that to me roommate he smiled and said, I have something to tell you. I am gay. And he brought in his boyfriend and introduced us! I thought I would be uncomfortable but they are just like any other normal guys and I didnt even know I was living next to a gay guy for the past 8 months.

I wished them and all of you happiness.