Just the other night, I was spending some quality time with my computer, engaging in a little p2p file sharing. Then it happened. A message from another user popped up on my screen screaming: "Faggot!" Mortified that I've been outed in Cyberia so unceremoniously, I confronted my intruder on his claim. The following is a transcript of our intellectual exchange:

Me: do i know u?
Him: no but i know u r gay.
Me: what makes u so sure?
Him: oh please, look at your mp3 collection... Madonna, Kylie, Gloria Gaynor... how obvious can u get? u might as download some Barbara Streisand songs to make your gay collection complete!
Me: that's it? u think i'm gay becoz of the music i listen to?
Him: u gays are all the same…you listen to the same shit... faggot!
Me: did something crawl up your ass n died? get out of my face you bigot!
Him: freak!"
Me: fascist!
Him: cock sucker!
Me: asshole!
Him: homo!

I got disconnected just as I was typing my retort. Maybe somewhere my fairy god daddy cannot bear to see me stoop to my verbal assailant's level and intervened before I sank even lower. When I went back online, he was nowhere to be found and I never heard from him since.

Fuming, I reached for my cyber-fiend voodoo doll (pins and other accessories each sold separately). While pushing in the third diamante pin on the spot marked explosive hemorrhoids, I cannot help but agree with my online nemesis. Gay people to a certain extent do listen to the same kind of music. While I dare not profess myself to be a gay music expert (my fellow Fridae scribe Ms Scary has that dubious honor), I shall in my capacity attempt to give a brief rundown on what is commonly labeled as gay music.

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Like any other subculture, we have our own set of social conduct, lingo and of course, embrace a certain kind of music. Just go to any gay club and listen to the kind of music that gets our booties shaking and you'll know what I'm talking about. Some would even as far as to claim disco music as gay music.

Believe it or not, disco music that we know today has been heavily influenced by gay clubs in America as early as the 60s. It was at that time that the first bars reserved exclusively for gay patrons were opened across the States. For gay people then, visiting these bars was a truly liberating experience for they can finally dance with their men without public persecution.

While straight bars all across the country were playing rock and roll and horrendous straight music, the gay bars favored soul and R&B, which had a more regular dance beat and a lot more attitude. And it came as no surprise that gay people then preferred music by black people for they were likewise shunned and discriminated by society.

When black oriented music evolved into disco funk in the early 70s it became a little too inaccessible to the gay community, as most of them were white. As a result of gay demand and the increasing number of gay record producers, a lighter form of disco music was created. With a faster tempo and more pop oriented, this new sound allowed gay clubbers to celebrate their sexuality in style on the dance floor.

By mid 70s, disco music was gaining more and more popularity and finally, the record companies pushed the music to the masses, thrusting a sound borne of a subculture into the mainstream.

Fast forward to the 21st century, while disco music morphed and continued to be a fixture in straight as well as gay clubs, the gay crowd today is also dancing to different sound. Trance, techno and house music are regularly featured in gay clubs. Abandoning their disco roots, there are some clubs that are devoted to playing only this type of music.

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One reason why such music is gaining popularity in gay clubs could be the increasing use of recreational drugs among their patrons. In a state of drug induced high, you no longer can swing your arms in the air and lip-sync to your favorite gay anthem. All you need is a thumping regular dance beat to match your racing heartbeat and a repetitive hook to spin your head in psychedelic circles to enhance the high.

Of course we cannot assume one is gay just because he listens to trance or disco. After all, trance originated from a mainly straight dance culture while disco has become mainstream since a long time ago. However, like my online foe suggests, there are some names in one's CD collection that invariably signals that the collector is batting with the boys. Names like Madonna, Cher, Kylie Minogue, Elton John, George Michael and the list goes on…

Female gay icons in particular have a special place in our hearts for they openly express and sing about emotions that we have to stow away in our closet on a normal workday. And they do so in style and a whole lot of attitude.

Uninhibited and outrageous, these divas lay their cards on the table, thrusting their sexuality in your face, doing what most of us can only dream of doing. You can bet your gym membership that the podium queen you see gyrating to Madonna's latest hits is picturing himself as Ms Ciconne shaking her ass for her devoted subjects on the dance floor.

While I may not have covered all the different types of music that constitutes what we label as gay music, we can already see a trend from the list of examples above. Not unlike people of other (sub)cultures, gay people turn to music as a source of inspiration and a means of escaping from our dreary existence. I for one am proud that we have better taste in music and choose to do so fabulously.

As for those who dared sneer at my brilliant mp3 collection, may they rest eternally in hemorrhoid hell.