"We may be beautiful but we're tough as nails."
- A line from Iron Ladies II.
Written and directed by Yongyoot Thongkongtoon who was also responsible for the first movie, Iron Ladies II features the return of the gender-bending volley dollies as they face what could potentially prove to be the biggest challenge in their volleyball career (after out-of-place hair strands and running make-up). In a pink nutshell, the storyline uses the true-life breakup of the actual Iron Ladies as the starting point for a roadtrip movie filled with retrospective moments and madcap antics.
When the movie opens, the Iron Ladies team has split into two warring factions and their once ironclad sisterhood is in jeopardy. The original team headed by the riotous Jung (Chaicharn Nimpoonsawas) finds itself in conflict with former teammates Nong (Giorgio Maiocchi) aka "Buffalo Queen" and scary transvestite triplets April, May and June (looking very much like Big-Headed Dolls left over from this year's Chingay Parade).
Then for some inexplicable reason, the sole heterosexual member of the team, Chai (played by the gorgeous Jessadaporn Pholdee) feels that it is necessary to travel to Talor, Southern China with Jung to look for their ex-teammate: the beautiful chick-with-a-dick Pia (Gokgorn Benjathikul) who is now top-billing a cabaret transplanted directly from Patpong.
Thus begins a rainbow-hued trip down memory lane as Jung reminisces about the origins of the Iron Ladies - including the first meetings between the core team members at the university. Through the use of flashback sequences, the audience becomes privy to the childhood of the exuberant and effeminate Jung and the pivotal meeting between Jung and Nong who started out as a homophobic muscle-mary-in-denial but later undergoes a transformation into a towering inferno of a queen after he has embraced his inner homosexual.
Interwoven into the retrospective tales is the going-nowhere sub-plot featuring a "Bull Dyke Lesbian" named Ann. For all her diesel butch mannerisms and girlfriend dating, Ann reveals herself to be straight during a mildly amusing trapped-in-a-lift scenario only to have her hopes shattered when the object of her affections announced that he is gay.
Being a feel-good movie, Iron Ladies II naturally brings the two feuding sisters, Jung and Nong, together after the latter was unceremoniously booted out of his team because of a sprained ankle. Like the first movie, Iron Ladies II culminates in a national volleyball match - labeled by a sports commentator as "a catfight to the death" - where the Iron Ladies re-team against a rival homophobic team comprising of cloned versions of themselves.
Like its predecessor, the fact that Iron Ladies II is fun, fluffy and flamboyant is undeniable - for it does have its laugh-out-loud moments, memorable salty dialogue and a hilarious scene where a still "straight" Nong crashes through the ceiling of the mens' locker room with a peeping tom camera.
a) Gay men must display exaggerated gestures of the limp-wrist and sashay-down-the-catwalk variety and strike tacky cheerleader poses whatever the occasion.
b) Gay men must exhibit questionable fashion sense which includes matching a Hello Kitty towel with a pink shower cap, teaming a pair of gag-inducing checked pants with roller skates and donning fierce outfits that even Cher would reject.
c) Gay men are drag queens with a penchant for badly applied make-up, big hair, excessive hair glitter, bitchy repartees and onstage lip-synching.
d) Gay men can be "outed" through their "obvious" taste in music, their poster collection and their secret stash of photos featuring their cute straight best friend.
e) Gay men will always call attention to themselves and will never mind being regarded as freaks-on-display as long as they get to slap on tons of makeup.
f) Gay men are inadvertently shallow and would let bygones be bygones as long as the offending party admits that the offended party is "prettier" than he is.
g) Gay men are obsessed with bedding and fawning over straight men only to lose their interest once these "straight" men reveal themselves to be "family".
h) Gay sportsmen will always be more concerned with looking good than the sport itself but what the heck, there's always the token straight guy on the team who can be depended upon to prep-talk their giddy heads back on track.
The only consolation is that Director Thongkongtoon once said in the press notes that he used only "straight" actors to play the gay characters because he did not want the audience to focus on the "gayness" of his cast. So that might explain the movie's far from accurate portrayal of the homosexual and transsexual communities as comprising mainly of only drag queens, celibate nellies and undignified clowns. But in this writer's opinion, it sure doesn't condone it.