Ms Scary has it on record that while Kylie Minogue was still parakeeting away on why she should be so lucky, lucky, lucky, her sibling Dannii was already honing her sex-kitten act to perfection.
Wisely deciding to milk her sex siren image for all it's worth, Dannii Minogue has undergone a transformation into a dark-haired vixen resembling a cross between Liz Hurley and (dare I say it) Kylie and unleashed her sex-drenched new album Neon Nights.
Featuring collaborations with music powerhouses the likes of Neimo, Roger Sanchez and producer Murlyn (Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera and J Lo), Neon Nights is a dance funk dream of an album filled with discotronic tunes influenced by 80s synthesised dance music.
While Ms Scary would be hard-pressed to select her favourite hits from so well-manufactured an album, the more outstanding tracks would include chart smash "I Begin To Wonder", Dannii's answer to sister Kylie's "Can't Get You Out Of My Head" and "Mystified", a cool The Artiste Formerly Known As Prince sounding track.
Equally dancefloor friendly are "A Piece Of Time" with its sleaze funk beats, "Push" with its thumping bassline and bedroom lyrics, "Hey! (So What)" with its catchy "oh, oh, oh" refrain and of course, Dannii's earlier trance-hit with Riva "Who Do You Love Now?"
Then there is the infamous "Vibe On", the song with the singular honour of making Ms Scary blush and tremble with desire at the same time. A raunchy tribute to God's gift to lesbians (and gay bottoms) everywhere, "Vibe On" is an ode to the singer's favourite vibrator. Unfortunately, despite its synth-funk hooks, the song is marred by what are possibly the worst lyrics in pop history:
"Show me that you're powerful
I, I, put in XXX batteries, just so you'd
Give me something wonderful…
Plug it in give me my vibe on
Give me vibrations
That's what gets my ride on."
And as if her songs and lyrics are not steamy enough, Neon Nights also contains three nova-hot music videos featuring dear Dannii doing facial contortions of the multiple orgasms type while she lip-synchs her way through. (Warning: This CD is definitely not for kiddies.)
With supersexy songs, a superhot image and tons of seedy sex appeal, Ms Scary is willing to bet her treasured beauty queen sash that Dannii Minogue's days of living in her sister Kylie's shadow are finally over!
In fact, permit Ms Scary to boldly declare: The battle of the Minogues for dancefloor supremacy has begun!