For a gay man, there are cars that can boast your sex life. Off hand, what I can think of are: any Alfa Romeos, most Audis, some BMWs and recently, certain Volkswagen models are quite the man/boy magnet. Imagine the disappointment once your prospective-shag hears that you drive a Toyota? Ouch. 

Sorry, supercars are not included here as they reek of mid life crisis or serious penile size related issues. Ouch Ouch.

Anyways why Volkswagen? Isn’t this the “People’s car” in German? Well, since the launch of the MK V Golf GTi in late 2004, Volkswagen’s street cred has been on an upward swing. Check out the number of Passat CCs in Hong Kong for further proof.   

Being a product from the “People’s car”, the new Scirocco remains faithful to the concept of being an affordable sports car. But the styling of the car is untouchable for the asking price: pouncing sharp angled front headlamps with that long-ish low roofline that ends with an eye popping rounded rear. The Scirocco is stunning to look at from all angles. 

The entry-level 160bhp 1.4 petrol engine may be diminutive, but its combination of supercharging, turbocharging, and light weight gives the Scirocco real spice. Despite giving away 40 horsepower to the larger 2.0 litre turbocharged engine, there is plenty to recommend for the smaller 1.4 TSI.  

Do you think by being slower by 0.9 seconds (8.0 secs 7.1 secs) from rest to 100 km/h is too much to bear? Other than saving a massive S$30,000 on list price alone, the 1.4 TSI sips 1.2 litres per 100 km (6.4 vs 7.6) lesser than the 2.0 TSI. 

And let’s not forget that the 1.4 TSI features Volkswagen’s latest seven-speed DSG gearbox, giving it one more gear than the 2.0 TSI’s six-speed DSG. The Wolfsburg boys have truly nailed the brilliant concept of this semi automatic gearbox: fast and jerk free for both upshifts and downchanging. The 1.4 TSI is living proof that less is definitely more in this case.    

So does size really matter? It might be true for sex, but here, the smaller capacity engine defies the bedroom rules. Overall, the Scirocco's handling is safe, grippy, predictable and complemented by plenty of steering feel. 

With less weight in the front, it gives the Scirocco’s brilliant chassis an even greater balance. There is more life and enthuse in the way the 1.4 TSI goes about its business over the 2.0 TSI. The omission of the Adaptive chassis control that comes as standard on the 2.0 TSI is no biggie: the standard chassis is sublime enough to shame some cars that cost twice as much.  

All seems to be excellent so far when it comes to looks, performance and handling right? Well, here comes the drawback: the interior looks boring, save for the ribbed leather seats and trapezium door handles. Not to mention the flimsy plastics used on the lower tiers of the interior. But there is still decent space for four adults onboard with a well shaped 292 litre boot, so at least the Scirocco doesn’t lose the plot as an everyday car. 

By opting for the 1.4 TSI, it means living without the panorama tilt-only roof, HID headlamps, Adaptive chassis control and chromed-18” alloys which comes standard on the 2.0 TSI. At S$99, 900, the Scirocco 1.4 TSI is an astonishingly good buy. 

My sympathy goes out for Mini dealers. But who cares when your sex life stands a chance to improve?