ZONE:

‘Why haven’t you found a girl yet? I mean, you’re smart, good looking, outgoing; you’re literally the life in every conversation. Have you been rejecting girls?’

‘No .. I mean, yes. Well, not exactly. To be honest, I’ve been busy; I’m caught up with a lot of issues lately that I don’t even have time to complete my essays.’

‘Time’s an issue? Really? We just spent a good deal of last week together .. writing essays. Who are you kidding?’

-pause-

‘Is there something you’re not telling me? We’ve been buddies for years; I can’t think of anything more embarrassing than bathing together and getting an ere-’

‘Hey!’

‘Just kidding. Come on, tell me.’

‘You really want to hear this?’

‘If it concerns you, then, yes.’

‘Six years ago, I took my first step into xxx Secondary school with fear. I didn’t know what to expect because cases of bullying in my formative years have left me silenced. I gained a new friend on the first day of school that year. Four years ago, we were in different classes, but that didn’t stop us from studying together. Those were endearing times -’

‘Her?’

‘Three years ago, I scored 39 points on my preliminary exams and cried really badly, but it wasn’t all that disappointing, because it was then that I got my first hug. Months later, I got my second hug after collecting joyous results: 7 points raw - I’ve never in my wildest dreams thought that I could achieve it.’

‘No ..’

‘This year on the 3rd of Feb, we went swimming together. The evening sun was lovely, and I spent a heartfelt night with the person that I love.’

‘Wait..’ 

‘On the 4th of Feb, I received a message on my phone before the first ray cracked through the clouds, before the first smile brightened my day. It was a birthday greeting - 4 sms-es worth of it. On the 17th of Mar, I performed for a poetry fest, only one person out of the seven that I’ve invited turned up. On 21st Apr -’

‘Stop. No.’

‘I was thrown out of the house. I seeked shelter at your house. Do you want to know why?’ 

‘It can’t be -’

‘YJ, I’m gay.’

That night, I stopped effacing the pronouns in my journal; that night, I titled my journal after your name.