Fridae

Popho Earthwind is a 30-year-old Korean woman living in Malaysia. She works at the Information Center WOMYN FOR WOMYN (icWOW), a non-profit regional organisation working for human rights of womyn who suffer from prejudice and discrimination against their sexual orientation as well as gender.

About icWOW

æ: Can you tell us more about icWOW and how it started?

popho: Information Center WOMYN FOR WOMYN (icWOW) is an non-profit regional organisation working for human rights of womyn who suffer from prejudice and discrimination due to reasons of sexual orientation as well as gender. It actively seeks to do research and disseminate information through the use of Information and Communication Technology. It started on 1 January 2001 after a year of preparation. While I was working in Bangkok, I found that there was a womyn's movement on sexuality, and it made me so excited.

However, I later found that the issues womyn face as a sexual minority are not really addressed as strongly as other groups in the sexual minority community. That was the time I began to think of forming icWOW. Afterwards, I consulted my partner (and co-founder of icWoW) who was working on womyn workers' issues in Asia, as well as other friend in various Asian countries such as Taiwan, China (HK), Philippines, India, Japan, Malaysia and South Korea. So the idea of icWOW which was born in January 2000 began to take shape in March.

In January 2001, it was finally launched with a great deal of support from the 15 founding members.

æ: What are icWOW's aims and achievements to date?

popho: The objectives of icWOW are; to promote human rights of marginalised womyn
on sexuality such as freedom of choice; to network self-organisations of marginalised womyn on sexuality internationally; to strengthen the Asian womyn's movement on gender in diverse perspectives; to facilitate sharing and to disseminate information on womyn's issue, particular on sexuality.

We try to provide up-to-date news about sexual minority peoples through our web site, have organised members through Asia, and now are conducting research on documents about sexual minority womyn's issues in Malaysia that is meant to be part of the study to be conducted throughout Southeast Asia next year.

æ: How has icWOW affected women the lesbian community in Malaysia/Asia?

popho: We can not say that we have done anything as of yet, as we have barely started our journey. We have taken a step to make a change in a world dominated by heterosexism and male prejudices. Womyn out there will see and hear more about each other and get more support, giving them the strength and support to be comfortable with themselves. This way, we can empower womyn to continually grow and move forward.

æ: What are the difficulties of having a gay and lesbian group in terms of governmental policies and societal pressure?

popho: The non-hetero sexuality issue is something not easily welcomed by people in Asia, while sexuality itself is already treated as an odd subject that is not really in synch with the Asian context. We constantly have to work with and around an environment which does not allow us to be fully open to the public, for fear that the country may take legal action against our organization and force us to cease activities. This kind of oppressive atmosphere will always limit the range of our scope.

Popho's Community

æ: Have you ever encountered prejudice because of your gender/sexuality? How did you deal with it?

popho: I believe that to be myself and to be proud of myself is very much important. I have discovered many times that, when I choose not to be comfortable and be myself, people accepted me for what I am. Few actively showed dislike of my sexual preferences, although some were not really familiar or comfortable with it. My practise has always been to do things and live my way, as long as I feel and believe that I do nothing wrong.

æ: What do you think we need most in Asia's gay and lesbian community?

popho: So far, the gay scene in Asia is pretty much individual as well as entertainment-oriented. There are lots of bars and saunas, cafes. I don't think that's all we need. We can't live at just a caf�, or somewhere like that all the time. We need a life. We need a place to stay freely. We need a space to do our activities freely. We need a society that openly acknowledges the equal rights of sexual minority people. The fact that businesses involving gay communities in Asia is increasing does not truly mean the situation of gay community is getting better. We should be more politically aware, we should prepared ourselves to aim higher than just entertainment. Besides, the scene is pretty much dominated by gay men, which means it is dominated by the male.

Even for so-called gay websites, most of them seem to only focus on gay men. And, most organisations are dominated by male-leaders. It shows that there is still gender inequality even in our community caused by a male-dominated system. We should seriously take look at this. How can the gay community ask for equal rights, when it still overlooks internal inequality within its own community.

Lastly, it is pretty much impossible to find people in the community groups who are not from middle-class or higher groups. We need to be more aware that there are people out there who cannot afford to hang out at bars every night, who cannot travel around the world to seek gay friendly locations, who cannot afford to live independently of their families. We should all see that the true "scene" in this capitalist society is pretty much make, middle-class, elitist, while those who are not male, not affluent or elite are simply marginalised.

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æ: In the context of being an Asian lesbian, do you have any personal role models/inspirations?

popho: To make it clear, I think I must say that I am bisexual. As for role models, I an greatly inspired by 2 of my own friend, one is a homosexual lady and the other one is bisexual. They are not highly "outstanding" people - in fact, they are rather ordinary people who have so many difficulties and barriers in their lives to deal with by themselves. Life is not easy to them. Yet, they do not give up but try live true to themselves, struggling against many difficulties and barriers. They continually inspire me, for which I am very grateful.

æ: What advice would you give to someone who is trying to come to terms with his or her sexuality?

popho: To me, to be oneself is important because it means I am honest to myself,
honest to what I feel, what I like, what I want to do and be. If we are not honest to ourselves, how we can be honest to others. Continually denying yourself will just make your life a living hell. Coming out is a secondary issue. Accepting, understanding and loving yourself is what should give your life meaning.

About Popho

æ: When did you realise you were lesbian? What was the process like?

It was when I was very much attracted to a lady and I wanted to have an intimate relationship with her beyond friendship. I did not understand it at first, why was I feeling this way towards a woman. Soon, I got it, I am bisexual.

æ: Are you out to family and friends? If yes, could you tell us something about it? Is it an important factor in your life?

popho: I came out to most of my friends but not family yet. Yes, I think coming out is an important part of my life because it means I am acknowledged as who I am by people who are important to me. However, if you are not yet ready, I don't think it's ever a good idea to "force" yourself to come out. The most important person one should avoid hurting is yourself, and it's important not to hurt youself if you think you can not cope it yet. Anyhow, the more you discover and get become comfortable with yourself, the more confidence and courage you will acquire.

æ: Do you believe in monogamous or open relationships? Are you in one?

Personally, I am the person who believes true intimacy between two human beings as life partners, and that is very important to me. However, it's my preference. I just know myself. I can not deal with so many relations at the same time and give them the same quality. I tried once but failed. However, I still think it's a matter of choice and how much capacity a person has. It should be determined by mutual agreement if one is in relationship with some body,and want to have another at the same time.

Apr�s Interview

æ: Tell us something about your first sexual experience?

popho: For me, it was with both sexes. The one with a man was boring but part of the growing process that helped me get to know. I guess you could say it was just my first time, and I didn't really know how to deal with or enjoy it. The one with a womon was something that made me feel dizzy and took me to different heights of ecstasy and intimacy. Haha~

æ: What is your favourite fantasy?

popho: I am bisexual but in homosexual relation at the moment. So? My fantasy is about having both sexes at the same time. ;)

æ: Which is sexier, mind or meat?

popho: To me, it's mind. I really cannot stand a boring person even if he or she has a fantastic body right next to me.