Fridae

When I came to thinking about gay men and cruising, I wasn't sure there was that much to it. I mean, we cruise to get sex, right? It's as simple as that. Men who cruise are men who like sex, lots of it, and generally with more than one guy a night. And that's all of us, isn't it? Well yes, but why?

Cruising grounds might well be the last vestige of a phenomenon from long ago when everybody had sex in the woods, but they also exist because gay men have had to keep their sexuality secret from the rest of society. That might not be so true these days, but the fact that some of us prefer established cruising grounds to bars and clubs is purely a matter of personal preference, as the function of both is ultimately the same.

Under the pier where the stray dogs piss, or in a club where you dance on broken glass and spilt beer. You choose. It's not such a mystery why some us prefer it outside. So who are these guys?

In the West, the most obvious group is the men who failed miserably to pick up in the smoke-filled club that night. It's quite amazing how The Bushes are always on your way home aren't they, more or less, when you're in that situation, and a bit of fresh air never did anyone any harm, did it?

Some guys just like doing it outside. The thrill of being watched, the anonymity of multiple partners, the primeval thrill of no-nonsense, no-questions sex. You don't need any of the personal skills you might need in a bar to cruise in the park and you don't have to buy anyone a drink. You just have to look like you might be up for it.

Some men enjoy their pleasure vicariously, and as there are those of us who like to do it in public, there are those who love to watch. Why rent expensive porn DVDs when you can go down to your local park after lights out and watch all the action you want live and for free, with the option of getting sucked right into the action yourself?

Another group of men are those that go looking for a bit of rough workmen or truck drivers as opposed to the classic stereotypes who, if you met in gay bar, just wouldn't be "straight" enough. Because cruising grounds also provide an outlet for those of us who aren't actually out.

Married men, celebrities or politicians, or men who for any other reason don't want anything to do with the rest of a gay lifestyle, can be found on their hands and knees in the dark, taking it like the worthless dogs they think they are.

In Asia, it's more or less this last group of men who make up the vast majority of guys that cruise, be that in shopping mall bathrooms or dimly lit parks at night.

With the family unit so strong in most Asian cultures, it's less about these men despising themselves or a more open gay lifestyle but more about keeping yourself to yourself for the sake of peace at home. Not that I'm making excuses for them, it's just that gay men in Asia are more oppressed by family members than by society at large. This means that a lot of the guys you find cruising in Asia are much more straight acting in their everyday lives than their Western counterparts, and this attitude follows them behind the trees.

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But it is perhaps this aspect of sex with a straight guy - sorry, a straight-identified one - that drives a fair few of us to the cruising grounds night after night. The thrill of an encounter with the kind of man you'd never meet in gay bar and probably not even on- line. Dave the meatpacker from Surbiton is not going to have his tits out on the Rainbow float at Pride, and nor is Da-wei the baggage handler from CKS airport.

While cruising is the easiest way to get your rocks off, it's also the most dangerous. Quite apart from police entrapment dangers, there's also the risk of violence. Gay bashers tend not to hang around outside busy gay clubs but on the peripherals of well-known cruising grounds.

Take a look at any story about gay bashing in the media and it will probably contain the phrase "infamous cruising ground," or at least mention that fact that the gay guy involved was out walking late at night without his dog. If gay guys know about it, and closets know about it, you can bet your al fresco ass the straights boys do too.

The trouble with being in a gay cruising ground is that it gives us a false sense of security. All the other guys are here for sex and so we're in safe company, or so we think. Particularly if we've had a few drinks, the risks increase. We're less likely to think about safe sex or be careful about who we approach. The kinds of survival skills we're taught to have in dark, isolated places go out the window when we're cruising. And then there's the long walk home or back to the car, where we might be tempted to cruise that last nervous looking guy by the street lamp, except he's got three straight mates lurking in the shadows with knives. As the waves pound the beach, you may be in for the wrong sort of pounding yourself.

Again in Asia the situation is slightly different. A poor Taiwanese schoolteacher looking to suck some cock under the stars is more likely to be blackmailed or robbed than beaten up or stabbed. A few cases have recently been reported in the Taiwanese media about such incidents at a north-coast gay-frequented beach. The victim is approached by a man while alone at the beach and after striking up a conversation and determining that the guy is indeed gay and looking for sex, a group of three or four other men appear, threatening to reveal the victims' sexual orientation to his family and workmates while demanding that he turn over his wallet and ATM cards.

Given the dangers - violence, blackmail and entrapment - as well as the risk to your sexual health with multiple partners in the dark, it's a wonder that we still all do it. But perhaps that's part of the whole sex outside with a stranger package - you just don't know what you're gonna get stuck with.