Fridae

Unlike their more adventurous gay counterparts, most lesbians I know are card-carrying members of the cult of vanilla sex.

In fact, according to an informal lesbian survey I conducted, what constitutes kink in the lesbo bedroom usually involves mild bondage of the knitting string sort, barely-felt-that spanking or penetration using a dildo or some phallic-shaped vegetables (thoroughly washed of course).

Undeterred by this sad state of affairs, I decided to live up to my role as patron lesbian saint and go where no lesbians have gone before (no, not the men's locker room) in search of the holy grail that would spice up the sex lives of lesbians everywhere.

Exhaustive research later (i.e. I trawled the Internet for an hour), my blood-encrusted eyes - a natural gay reaction to pictures depicting the female genitalia in moist action - finally alighted onto what could potentially be the next hottest thing to appear on the lesbian sex scene since Lucy Lawless' uber-dyke getup in Xena: Warrior Princess - Pony Play.

Now before the entire femme contingent reacts by arching their perfectly plucked eyebrows and their butch counterparts start to roll up their checkered shirtsleeves to wave their fists at yours truly, hear me out.

Pony play is one of the fastest growing sexual fetish subcultures in the West though it remains relatively unknown over here in Asia. In fact, it has its roots as far back as the Assyrian empire and was well known even in the Victorian era. However, it was only in the last few years that there has been a literal explosion of pony play websites, magazines, public events, meeting groups and fetish gear suppliers.

According to publisher Paul Reed of Equus Eroticus, a website and magazine dedicated to human pony fetishes, the philosophy behind pony play centers around "having one partner assume the role of a human pony while the other partner assumes the dominant role and controls the role-playing scenario."

Pony players usually have equestrian backgrounds (which may explain why it's relatively unknown in Asia where horse-riding is hardly a common activity), elaborate equine fantasies they need to trot out or a fetish for "animal transformation."

Having unleashed their inner stallion, mare, thoroughbred or high-stepping filly, these human ponies then pair off with appreciative "riders" and "trainers" who handle them in the same manner as a real horse. Some human ponies even go to the extreme of literally assuming the qualities and lifestyle of their equine counterparts when in play - they do not speak but neigh or grunt, adhere to an equine diet (carrots, apples, sugar cubes), and when pulling an overnighter, prefers accommodation of the hay-stall variety (I kid you not).

In the world of pony play, the three most popular roles to assume would be show ponies, cart ponies and riding ponies. Of the three different roles, the act of pony riding can be considered the most common and can take the form of the shoulder-mount type, the piggy-back two-legged style, or the four-legged on your hands and down-on-your-knee-pads position.

Whatever the type of play human ponies and their trainers may prefer, what is common in all three types of pony play would be gait training (which is akin to a stint in an equine obedience school) whereby the human pony is "trained" to imitate the canter, trot or run of a "real" horse before eventually graduating to pulling a carriage or becoming a show horse.

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Once tamed and trained, there are numerous avenues for proud trainers to show off their human ponies by joining a club, group or even camp where pony enthusiasts can gather and admire other equally fine "equine" creatures.

In the West, there is The Stampede in San Francisco with over 300 members and The Equestrian Club in New York which puts together Broadway-style pony-play performances. Equine enthusiasts could also gather at summer pony camps where they compete in a Best of Show-style erotic thoroughbreds event.

Further extensive research (i.e. another 15 minutes on the Internet) revealed that the pony play crowd in the West gravitates to the BDSM (Bondage and Discipline, Sadism and Masochism) scene simply because sexual play involves a person taking the dominant human role of "master", "owner" or "trainer" with his/her partner assuming the submissive role of the "pony".

As with all BDSM acts, fetish equipment absolutely essential for "horsing around" would include corsets which can be transformed into saddles, blindfolds into blinders, high heels into hoofboots, handcuffs into mitts, and buttplugs into ponytails (!) etc.

During pony play, some human ponies may enjoy being whipped and beaten but most prefer a more loving and affectionate relationship. As one avid pony girl puts it: "I wouldn't beat my own horses, so why would I want to be beaten?" Rather, most pony girls get their "thrills" from firm leadership and positive reinforcement which can take the form of favourite threats such as sugar cubes and carrot sticks.

While pony play is not an exclusively lesbian fetish, it is finding an increasingly receptive lesbian audience in the West. To quote pony girl Penny Birch, author of Penny In Harness: "Most little girls like to play at being a horse. Some of us don't grow out of it." Or as Vancouver clinical sexologist Dr. Pega Ren explains: "Most women I know went through a horse-crazy phase, usually in their prepubescent years. Women generally have early sensual experiences riding - whether in saddle or on a bike. Role-playing is part of every person's sexual dance. Safe, sane and consensual play can provide deep satisfaction, health and happiness."

Armed with this nugget of information, it is with barely containable glee (i.e. lots of hand fluttering, Mariah-styled squealing and much jumping up and down on the spot) that I approached two of my closest lesbian friends, Daphne and Junior, to test out my revolutionary discovery (I am nothing if not thorough). To say that their reception was lukewarm would be a gross exaggeration.

After a long and protracted silence, Daphne, "femme" fatale, had this to say: "I hate to burst your bubble but I don't think it'll take off in the local lesbian scene. Given that the only places you could possibly find a horse would be at the zoo or turf club, I hate to imagine how the public would react to the sight of a "human pony" and her trainer traipsing around in pony gear. Plus lesbians here aren't really into simulated animal sex anyway."

Junior, personal dyke-trainer, added: "Even in the privacy of the bedroom, those fetish pony gear are a bit too rough-trade for my taste. I don't think my partner would be able to take the combined weight of wearing a saddle and then having me sit on top of her - her back would snap. Asian women are just not built that way."

So despite my considerable persuasive skills (I once convinced my friends that Britney Spears had real talent - imagine that!), I had to concede defeat and resign myself to the fact that it would be quite a while before we see any human ponies and their trainers coming out of their stalls here in Asia.

Sigh � some lesbian patron saint I turned out to be.