Fridae

In Cantonese television serials of yester years, home-wreckers are usually typecast as vindictive vixens who knowingly seduce someone else’s husband before proceeding to tear the unfortunate family unit apart.

In this modern age, home-wreckers – personified by the knife-wielding Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction – are still depicted as mentally unbalanced bunny-boilers who will stop at nothing at get their claws into the man of someone else’s dreams.

Given the prevailing stereotype, it is no wonder that even in the gay community which has long pride itself as being far more enlightened and welcoming to “deviants,” “homo-wreckers” are about as popular as certified Satanists with a penchant for necrophilia.

At this point, it should be noted that I am not referring to those “innocent victims” (read: new to the scene virgins or plain gullible gay men) who are seduced by the lustful philander who is already attached or to the third (or more) party in an open relationship.

Rather, by “homo-wreckers”, I am referring to gay men who consciously seek out gay couples and then make it their personal goal in life to break up the relationship. These gay men covet what they cannot have, should not have, or in their warped views, what they would have if not for that other guy (otherwise known as the official boyfriend).

The modus operandi of many a homo-wrecker often involves befriending one of the couple – usually the stud the homo-wrecker wants to bed. Next, the homo-wrecker would simultaneously seduce his victim while finding and magnifying “flaws” in the relationship. The more seasoned homo-wreckers may even throw in relationship-jeopardising comments the likes of “Oh, by the way, I saw your boyfriend having sex with so-and-so at the pool/sauna/club last evening.”

Alternatively, the more aggressive homo-wrecker could skip all the insidious brainwashing and focus on just getting his target to lie on his back and raise his legs to the ceiling. Once his mission is accomplished, he would then drop the following bombshell on the cuckolded boyfriend: “Just so you know, your boyfriend cheated on you! With me!” (Cue: body-shaking peals of evil laughter).

Whatever method the homo-wrecker may choose to employ, his actions would, in most cases, lead to the breakdown of the relationship under siege as accusations of infidelity start to fly and the pain of betrayal starts to sink in – unless the gay couple in question happen to worship and model themselves after Hilary Clinton but I digress.

However, before we arm ourselves with pitchforks and firebrands, and gather our fellow sisters to hunt down these evil homo-wreckers (vigilantism sounds terribly exciting doesn’t it?), let us at least make an attempt to decipher and understand the motives behind their “seemingly incomprehensible” actions.

For a start, homo-wreckers do not suffer from debilitating mental problems nor do they have a death wish or a twisted fetish for inflicting pain and suffering upon hitherto monogamous couples – well, maybe some do, but not all.

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Homo-wreckers tend to be highly competitive individuals and are constantly comparing their success in life with how others are doing (it’s sad but true). That is the reason why, to homo-wreckers, single guys do not pose much of an attraction – they’re simply too easy and where’s the challenge in that?

Driven by jealousy, they tend to transform into raging green-eyed monsters when they chance upon a gay couple in wedded bliss because they are reminded of what they don’t and can’t have: a relationship.

There is also an aggressive aspect to homo-wreckers as most would stop at nothing and stoop to new lows just to achieve what they set out to do – steal the guy and break up his relationship. Not surprisingly, most homo-wreckers are addicted to the thrill-seeking aspect of their wanton behavior since they get a rush from causing a successful split.

Trapped in a cycle of destructive behavior, they see what they want in what other boys have, and since they don’t have that, they would rather destroy what the other boys have than not have it themselves (all together now: raise eyebrows and tut-tut with disapproval).

However, after all that’s been said, it is my personal view that homo-wreckers are inherently selfish creatures. Case-in-point: notorious serial homo-wrecker Jonathan who gets a kick out of breaking up couples and then flaunting his trophies at clubs.

According to Jonathan: “Let’s not kid ourselves. We live in a world where all that matters is satisfying ourselves first and foremost. And if my actions give me pleasure but lead to the break up of relationships, so be it. At the end of the day, it’s about me getting what I want.”

Perhaps a more shocking view is offered by unrepentant homo-wrecker, PT, who views his home-wrecking deeds in an “altruistic” light. He said: “I once slept with some guy who’s attached. His boyfriend found out and broke off their relationship. Personally, I think the fault lies with the partner who cheated. In fact, I think I did the couple a favour – at least I opened his boyfriend’s eyes to the type of person this guy really is. After all, even if it wasn’t me, it could easily be someone else.”

Having heard from the homo-wrecking camp, the question arises: what should gay men do to guard and defend their men when they find their relationships threatened by the appearance on the scene of a homo-wrecker? No, breaking into a flood of girlish tears is not an option.

Instead, let me suggest that you draw your action plan from the plots of the aforementioned Cantonese serials and do accordingly: gather your cohort of mahjong-playing sisters, track down the home-wrecking hussy, proceed to unleash a torrent of verbal abuse (usually of the cheap slut and evil whore variety) and end off the encounter by subjecting him to physical torment including slaps, hair-pulling, acid-thrown-in-face and assault by handbags – preferably all done in public.

After a catty confrontation like that, peace should reign – albeit temporarily – in your household – that is, until you decide on the disciplinary measures to be taken against your cheating spouse.