When it comes to life, there's a very good reason why we seldom stray from our regular favorites. There's this unstated confidence that we have in our preferred choices, that the end result will almost always be pleasurable, if not at least pleasant. To stray from the usual would mean having to step out of one's comfort zone and go through the whole 'acquired taste' process all over again. It can be quite a satisfying challenge for some and a hassle for others.
Thus it was with this sentiment that I found myself naked, trussed up, blindfolded with scenes of felons being violently arrested in COPS running through my head the entire time.
It all started with an offer from a random stranger from the Internet - a two-hour session of full body massage with no price tags or strings attached. Of course it sounded too good to be true because who on earth would offer to knead your muscles for a two whole hours and not expect something like sexual or monetary favours in return? Thus it was with this apprehensive feeling that I went to the masseur's place, wondering if I would survive the whole encounter with one less appendage or in the worst case scenario, not even survive at all. The only reassurance was that I have insurance, so at least my loss will not be in vain.
The masseur's place was pretty decent actually. It was well furnished with antique furniture and for a gay touch, a huge Winnie the Pooh plush sitting in a corner underneath a vase filled with plastic daffodils. If it could talk, it would actually have said things like 'You don't know what you're getting yourself into, dude!' There were also several dogs at home and judging from the high-pitched and incessant yapping, I guessed that they were Chihuahuas or really effeminate Rottweilers. There was absolutely nothing indicative of an owner who's into tying people up and doing pleasurably painful things to them.
It was with this assumption of safety that I stripped and lay myself on the masseur's bed. And the moment he did his thing, I was totally relaxed. Believe me, he was an excellent masseur. I know this is going to sound trite, but he discovered places in me that I never knew about - one of them being a street devoted solely to seedy massage parlors. His hands knew the geographical aspects of a man's body like a professor of anatomy. He found hidden ligaments and kneaded them to perfection. He even did this leg-twisting thing that was as pleasurable as a watered-down and sissified wrestler trying to pin me down. It was unbelievably good.
As expected, all went fine until I was asked to flip over so that he could massage the front. That was when he suggested the tying of a blindfold. I never asked him why because I assumed it was one of those 'arouse the senses' concepts and all that new-age zen crap. I was already being massaged by another man and having a hard on. If there were any more senses to be aroused, I would be more than willing to try. And so went a black cloth around my eyes.
It wasn't long however, before he popped the next question: 'Have you ever tried bondage and submission?'
'Ehrm once' I replied warily.
That was several years ago and it wasn't exactly pleasurable. I ended up with several bruises and protruding nipples from extensive use of clamps.
'Would you like to try it again? No pressure though,' he said as he twisted my arm into a weird locking position. It was out of context that I assumed he was twisting my arm rather than massaging it.
At that point of time, thoughts of the familiar scenes from COPS had evolved into thrill-kill-seeking people from Eli Roth's Hostel. But then again, I had already relented to the tying of a blindfold around my eyes. Plus the noisy little Chihuahuas/effeminate Rottweilers were seemingly barking bits of reinforcement that their master was just a harmless guy who has a fetish for non-violent BDSM. So I thought to myself, 'Ah what the hell. I'm already here, might as well give it a shot.'
Of course, the 'what the hell' ideology soon turned to 'WHAT THE HELL' when the masseur started applying the nipple clamps and tight ropes. The cold of the metal was chilling and the sudden pressure on the nipples, shocking. If I tilted my head a bit, I could see him taking out his equipment from a really crinkly NTUC (a local chain of supermarkets) plastic bag. It was extremely bizarre, not forgetting to mention painful. Then again, when you're naked and lying on a bed with objects of pain applied to your nipples, the body tends to interpret pain as otherwise.
For that entire afternoon, I was spanked, shaved, bitten, dripped with candle wax, clamped and bounded. There was even this bit with ice-cubes being put up a certain orifice which I'm not very keen on recalling (I had a bad bout of watery stools that night). It wasn't until I had the first orgasm that the fun in bondage started to diminish. Soon enough, everything that the masseur did was too painful, too burning, too hot and too ticklish. I could have told the masseur to stop, but I guess I didn't want to be thought of as chickening out. On retrospect, it's a very silly thought to have when it comes to sex. Sex should not be uncomfortable and awkward, but rather a discovery to find out what pleases one's body. Obviously not an easy thought to cross one's mind when one is feeling battered all over.
It was after that orgasm that I made up my mind that I would be returning back to my usual habits of sex in the spas with random men who can have fun without the use of kinky equipment. It's generally less tedious and definitely less painful. After all, pain is fun, but not when overdone - it makes a really good rhyme, doesn't it? I can't fault the masseur though. He gave a really swell massage plus he was really friendly - for a person who indulges in bondage, and respectful for constantly asking if everything was okay and if I wanted to stop.
We ended the session with small talk about the area he lived in, as if the bondage bit never happened. And out of curiosity, I asked him if I could see his dogs.
Bloody noisy yapping Chihuahuas they were.
Jonathan Zhang has been gay for eight years, a nurse for four, tried bondage twice and tries to write on a daily basis. You can read the combined average of the above in his blog at www.spankthemalenurse.blogspot.com. Ah Men! will be updated every other Sunday.
Reader's Comments
An explicit story told in clean fun way.
Entertaining.
Pretty sporting of him to let the master continue his domitation after cumming.
But how would you know was it a safe game ? Being blindfolded and tied, seems to be in a vulnerable and submissive position. I would think twice to try it out with a stranger.
So typical Singaporean mummy's boy.
I find this a bad testimony! Unless Jon does not regret the consequences!
Most people when they have bad experiences tend not to share 'em to others for a lot of people might judge, criticize, complaints, or just being cynical.
So after it all happened, have you met the masseur again? (This time solemnly for massaging purpose only).
Take care now!
so where can we find this naughty massuer .. ?
;)
Am sure you'll be back for it! Takes two to tango and all you have to do is say stop to the dance number! The mere fact you didn't was you kinda liked being handled helplessly... pain and pleasure...difficult to define dud, all depends on the couple playing/dancing. But your article was entertaining.
Cheers!
He would have understood your desire to stop. After all, it's the responsibility of the Dominant to anticipate the desires of the Submissive - sometimes that can be stretched if the relationship is developed enough.
But sounds like you weren't voicing your desires clearly, as you acknowledged.
clamps and ice cubes? Jon, just make sure that u get urself checked and try to recall at any point in time if you were bleeding through the use of his tools. Some clamps can cause bleeding... haha... not that i know much about it of course except the ones used to hang clothes to play card games as punishments.
ice cubes... hmmm... the recent case in Holland.... ice cubes up the orifice?
it's completely fine for you to play but if you feel a little uncomfortable about any part of the play, tell him to stop and there are always other things to play with. Besides, he always ask if u r okay before he goes a step further.
As Blake Lewis would say: You give gay a bad name. Shame on you, dear. Try a decent story next time.
...sounds to me like Jonathan found one...more than he bargained for.
found out Jonathan is abit pathatic in term of; he should know what is the real meaning of SM, bondage and etc (somemore he been doing it once) before beginnig instead of pretending for that session for couple hours.
In other words; from the article above, he been trying to descride himself that how uncomfartable
he was during that session and being how regret after the whole session. no doubt he been in the gay scence for about 8 years,
but he seem like uncertian what sort of things he wants when it comes sex.
At this point of view, as i am talking about in general , if Jonathan is mature enough to think! he should had said stop instead
of pretending all along of the way for couples of hours.
Just an example given here (it could be as simple as that), when you are having fun with you partner/lover for a normal session
(NORMAL SESSION, do allow me to emphasize that 2 words..err..ummh!). if the other parties reach to the certain extend until he is doing it
to you too hard. i believe that most of us would probably request him to stop or reduce that impact.
I am refering is lover not stranger.
as the senario/story was given by JON above, i would like to suggest Jon to learn how to express his feeling
(as this need both hand to make the clap). and i believe JON should know better than any person as he did mentioned
early on in his article under 2nd paragraph.
Cheers
Also, this article reflects a bad light on the alternative lifestyle. There was no mention of protective health measures and tread feebly on issues of morality in the queer circles. Especially within a conservative Asian society, such alternative sexual practice should be kept to one's pleasure domain and not be flaunt as an alternative hedonistic lifestyle.
i guess i dnt think so..
NEXT TIME BE SMART, no bodys give u free massage without any kind of intention or purpose.
cos he give u free massage and the intention its, i tie u up and blindfolt u and then shaved u,spanked u,bitten u and then ur skinn get dripped of hot candle wax,clamped & bounded.
is that pleasure that u called? sometimes we need to think before we done it, 'think before u done or said anything'
GOOD LUCK!
perhaps the real world is just too real for sissies like you. shoo, go to far far away land where cinderella lives.
cheers to you jon!
I am sorry but I am very much an elitist and have no time for this!
there is cleary a better way to live one's life and have great sex and JZ needs to get find out the difference!
remember it is good for me to show others the way to the light to happiness, good health, great sex, and prosperity!
I am not necessarily agreeable to every statement made in Jon's writing. But, I have to admit that our community includes a whole spectrum of values that some are such a bunch of radical right and gives zero degree of tolerance of public display of deviations.
What I believe is: a writer should have no boundary in exploring human kinds.
It is then your choice whether to read or not.
Will you stand and watch while, all the seeds of hate are sown
Will you stand with those who say, let his will be done
One hand on the bible
One hand on the gun
Which way are you looking, is it hard to see
Do you say whats wrong for him, is not wrong for me
You walk the streets, righteousness but you refuse to understand
You say you love the baby
Then you crucify the man
Everyday, things are changing, words once honored turned to lies
People wondering, can you blame them
Its to far to run, and to late to hide
Now you turn your back on, all the things that you used to preach
Now its let him live in freedom, if he lives like me
Well you light has changed, confusion rains, what have you become
All your olive branches turned to spears
When your flowers turned to guns
Whom would agree to bondage without asking what it entails.. oh sure do anything you want to me..
sure pull whatever out of some bag and use it on me..
most people have boundaries..
and of course the question is to ..was he good looking? Im not shallow but im saying only because when the guys not bad looking we are willing to give more up of ourselves.. as well too the social awkwardness of saying no is a challenge.. you are already there so you feel obliged to be a good guest.
Stick to your rights, communicate before hand.. if it was so painful you just let him continue?
i find it hard to believe...
This domain, e-mail and the web in general give all of us equal voices via our keyboards. Most of us are terrible writers (and should stick to our day jobs), some are good, few are great. Where Jonathon currently ranks on the great-to-terrible scale is in the minds of his readers. Where I "judge" him is my business, (and also yours)...and 1 million comments below couldn't change my opinion of his current writing skills or the importance/relavance of his column to the fridae.com community. Will he ever become a great writer? Time, his income, Pulitzer prizes, and international best-seller lists will tell. A critical point of his story, whether intentional or not, is DON'T TRUST STRANGERS (good looking or not) to stick things in your various orifices, or cause Xtreme pain unless you really want and authorize it and you are really prepared for the consequences.
Ice cubes can contain drugs, viruses, bacteria, cacinogens. The sharp edges of an ice cube can cut the delicate linings of one's rectum...and whoosh..INTO the bloodstream goes the nasty little devils. Mouths, eys, ears, noses and urethras are all just as susceptible to infections. Devices which pierce the skin can (and usually do) contain nasty bacteria and viruses, unless professionally sterilized prior to use/abuse. Jon should be tested for HIV and STD's in 30 days....his master-bondo-massager might have infected him with something not-so-nice.
no offensive.
Bytheyway, the main reason i posting this message again is to mention;
somehow i found out the "POST a COMMENT HERE!" some of users is really getting out of the topic or may be abusive.
Like what Ryuuji said is totally out of the topic.
Ryuuji...sorry if i did offence you but i hope you understand after reading my words and try to widen out your view point.
i know when i wrtie this is totally out of the topic at the BEGINGING but i guess i should raise up my point of view as i totally disagree with you and found out is abit offencesive to those who like to adopt and taking care of animals but at the same time are into (SM activities like me) and especually i kinda pity of the MASSSUER who is being critized. (Now i am back to the topic :D) cheers!
Ryuuji, as you just mentioned, we won't know how our pets feel when we are taking care/adopt them.
so how are you gonna to jutify whether our pet will be living happily or sadly?
Is kinda CONFUSE when you try to express you comments here.
And also, pet and human are different kind of species.
Meaning that human has the ability to judge and Differentiate what should be done and what should not be done as well as what is right or wrong. in term of Morality and Ethic a human should ALWAYS HAS.
That's mean sex mean sex, adpoting/taking care means adpoting/taking care animal
(SIMPLE AND CLEAR?)
perhaps i found out this is very easy to be differentiated by human.
Unless the massuer is not a human.
:)
or smelling someone fart in a nice restaurant!
its not about right or wrong, but it really is a question of the value of good taste and manners and self worth!
next he will be writing about his adventures as a male nurse and getting groped by his patients-- oops that was last week's column!
what ever happened to just good old romantic love and a nice crush on someone?
sex is too easy and too cheap these days!
as Mae West once said, "it is really hard to sell what others give away so freely"
hey JZ if you want to go on a real date with a real man that will treat you right and most of all respect you, give me a call! Most gay men forget what it is like to be treated with a real and magic touch! drop me a heart or a short message and I will fly the corporate jet down to pick you up dear lost one!
It seems that he is able to bewitch readers!
you should go to Singapore to find out the dating scene for your own experience, trust me.
Not everyone is fortunate enough to find a real bf who will "love, adore and protect you". If you think what JZ did is of "low class, bad taste, lousy sexual experiences and manners", i can tell you what I have done recently is of the least class!
JZ,
S&M will give pleasure to the "active" player when the "passive" player makes lots of noices under great pain. Sex should give pleasure and not pain. If not, then being celibate is much better!
Who appointed you as such?
When will you grow up and comprehend that your own opinion is just that: your OWN and NOBODY ELSE'S?
---
As for lagunasis, Zhang may be boring at times, but that does not give you the right to tell him his lifestyle is wrong.
Don't read his staff or comment on his text negatively and it's all fine, but taking the liberty to give people advice how to lead their PERSONAL life is really pathetic. Maybe Zhang is a Masochist who enjoys being treated in a way you consider "cheap".
Not that we all have to know of his diarrhoea as a result of frozen dildos...
But yes, that was a good read. ;-)
I found your story quite up-beat... I always found it fascinating how some guys can channel whatever they feel in their soul into some form of SM sex - it's definitely a more productive and socially acceptable form of processing any pressing need to dominate another person than becoming an office nerd (or obnoxious head nurse, for that matter ;-) ) and terrorizing innocent and helpless co-workers!
And isn't it testimony to a quite noble character if rather than just running away or declining the advances of the guy, you actually accepted his request and let him finish his business?
Sex may be a rather basic human need (which raises the question why anyhow people make so much fuzz about it - nobody ever made any fuzz about randomly picking up food from street vendors, thereby unabashedly cheating on one's wife - but eating is the same category of basic needs as sex and sleep!), but it also is an amazing way to get to know other folks in a most intimate way. Therefore writing about it makes most interesting cultural journalism... So when is your next article coming? :-)
P.S.: The massage certainly has piqued my interest as well... So when you send out the contact details of your masseur, cc me! :-)
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