A lesbian couple in Batu Pahat, a small town in the state of Johor, Malaysia made the news when the local media reported that the pair had a traditional Chinese tea ceremony and wedding banquet for 400 guests on Saturday. (The tea ceremony is regarded to be a quintessential Chinese wedding tradition where the new couple serves the beverage to both sets of parents and elders of the family.)
The pair – identified in media reports only as Thomas, 29, and Apple, 27 – has been dating for two years. Local Chinese language newspaper Sin Chew Daily reported on the wedding in great detail including the couple's courtship, wedding preparations, the bride's dowry and betrothal gifts, menu at the wedding banguet, and that the bride's mother had initially objected to the relationship but became eventually accepting.
Thomas and Apple have a publicly accessible Facebook page which has attracted over 6,000 "likes" on Monday, up from 630 as mentioned in the first newspaper report that appeared on Saturday.
The marriage is however not legally recognised as Malaysia has no provisions for same-sex marriages.
In a column "Blessing instead of approval" in Malaysia's Sin Chew Daily (originally written by Tay Tian Yan in Chinese and translated to English by Soong Phui Jee), Tay related that the newsroom had received many calls from readers who disapproved of the coverage of the same-sex wedding in the paper and were concerned that the wedding would set a precedence.
Tay wrote:
After receiving a large number of calls, a colleague asked me: "Do you agree with such kind of marriage?"
Seemed like not answering the question, I said: "There is no opposition nor approval, but only blessing!"
...
"Mr" Thomas is 29 years old while Ms Apple is 27, instead of views and opinions from unrelated people, they are in a greater need of blessings.
Some readers might ask: "It's better to keep gay or lesbian affairs low profile and why should they hold a wedding?"
Getting married is a kind of courage and why must they keep a low profile?
It is a kind of explanation to let others know about their affair. A wedding represents a commitment and responsibility and it demonstrates that even same sex couples are able to stay together till the end.
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Reader's Comments
What precedence?
Customary/religious weddings/marriages of any kind without the legal registrar's acknowledgement in this country have no legal recognition nor rights.
That's why they can get away with it as it's just another cultural event. Smart couple. Brilliant way to circumvent the law & convention without legal penalties.
Try registering at the National Registration Dept of Malaysia or the Assistant Registrar of Marriages and see...let the fireworks begin...
It's a similar old stunt by some people who use this similar customary wedding to get additional 'spouses' to avoid the penalty of bigamy (for non-Muslims) and those who consent with the perpetrator oft are ignorant of legal provisions thinking that it's a legal marriage until the time comes to claim estate rights only to find out that only the one with the legal recognition have the final claim.
All the best to this couple and may they enjoy a fruitful union.
Am I missing something?
;-p
Does the Malaysian government go into people's bedrooms ? No problem for two people of the same sex to " love" each other . It is a Chinese traditional ' wedding ' , nothing to do with the Islamic government. In Indonesia they could be be arrested by the dictatorship of Islamic groups simply for wearing trousers !! Countries which have Islamic people must ensure that the Law requires them to behave with justice and eqaulity for all...not prisons for thei adherents ! The USA and France have made tentative steps in this direction...
Does the Malaysian government go into people's bedrooms ? No problem for two people of the same sex to " love" each other . It is a Chinese traditional ' wedding ' , nothing to do with the Islamic government. In Indonesia they could be be arrested by the dictatorship of Islamic groups simply for wearing trousers !! Countries which have Islamic people must ensure that the Law requires them to behave with justice and eqaulity for all...not prisons for their adherents ! The USA and France have made tentative steps in this direction...
"Does not look like a same-sex wedding to me... One is wearing a wedding dress, the other a suit, one is called Thomas, the other Apple and #3 is even wishing them "a fruitful union". Am I missing something?"
How a same-sex wedding should look like? I'm sure many here wanna to know your view. I am Canadian, we always have same-sex wedding, many types as you can imagine. So far, no specific type become a norm. Canada was the first English speaking country to legalize gay marriage and remain the only one until today.
Does it really matter how it should look like? Who cares? As long as they are happy, it can be nude too. lol Right?
You are missing an open mindset. That's all. Give them blessing isn't of questioning their wedding suit or dress. right?
To #15. yay for Canada! I totally agree with you. I was about to give #4 some points about same sex marriage but well, you did my job.
Thanks. Sometimes I can't stand for people who are heading to a complete opposite direction of an issue. This was a very happy occasion for this couple. He was questioning about their wedding suit and dress. lol What was going on in his mind? lol He is a typical British bullier. Not all British people are bad but few bad apples will make u feel so sick.
By the way, I have been Peterborough. A nice small city. Well, not many Asians living there. When u come to Toronto, let me know. Well, I usually busy during weekday. Work Work Work as usual. lol
when is going to be my turn? lols....
We may not have what the straight couples have but what we have is the heart and soul of our relationship are our vows to each other.
Lister well my dear straight people out there irregardless of our sexual orientation WE'RE human beings just like you & me.
"Tay wrote:
After receiving a large number of calls, a colleague asked me: "Do you agree with such kind of marriage?"
Seemed like not answering the question, I said: "There is no opposition nor approval, but only blessing!"
...
"Mr" Thomas is 29 years old while Ms Apple is 27, instead of views and opinions from unrelated people, they are in a greater need of blessings.
Some readers might ask: "It's better to keep gay or lesbian affairs low profile and why should they hold a wedding?"
Getting married is a kind of courage and why must they keep a low profile?
It is a kind of explanation to let others know about their affair. A wedding represents a commitment and responsibility and it demonstrates that even same sex couples are able to stay together till the end."
I don't know about the newspaper, but the journalist was actually supportive!
Thank you to their family for open minded. I think their family also will be gossiped by who else know them
And those mfsob gay men who thinks its not a union of sort just because one is wearing a suit and the other a dress [*double facepalm], grow up. Or watch Ellen. It's so funny you pass judgement so fast on others and you would expect others to respect your rights?
and congratulations.
also thank you for standing out there braving all the critisms and negative remarks from all the unworthy people that doesn't know what love is.
quoting the quote - marriage is not a heterosexual privilege, it is a basic human rights!!!!
salute
Question - was a public event like this really necessary? Taking into account all that has taken place in Malaysia - where politicians have no hesitation in using religion, 'morality' to gain the upper hand over their opponents, & to whip up emotions & peoples' basest instincts, to a feeding frenzy?
Ideals are good... but I think personal security of gays & lesbians is also a major consideration, especially in a volatile environment like M'sia.
Hope we can have a first glbt wedding in Singapore soon!
In fact, all Chinese weddings come with this popular saying of 'fruitful union' as in Jews with the saying of 'mazeltov'. You will need to read this from an Asian context. There is clearly a misinterpretation of cultural norms and the local psyche here.
Anyway, my heartiest congratulations to them both. My hats of to them. :)
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