Fridae

If you’re in a relationship of some kind, Valentine’s Day generally brings with it a bit of pressure to make some sort of romantic gesture or at least spend a bit of quality time together.

This year, Valentine’s Day – 14 February – falls on a Tuesday.

You might be struggling to think of options for getting romantic on a Tuesday night – romance isn’t easy at the best of times – but we’re here to help.

What is Valentine’s Day?

Valentine’s Day isn’t a new thing. It began as a feast day for a martyred saint – the Feast of Saint Valentine was formally adopted into the calendar of the Christian church in AD 496, about 200 years after Saint Valentine of Rome had met his untimely end.

While there are references to romance and relationships in connection with Saint Valentine in the years that followed, it was the men and women of 18th-century England that most clearly articulated the romantic aspects of the Feast of Saint Valentine. Wealthy people with time on their hands sent flowers and gifts to the objects of their affections.

By the mid-19th century, Valentine’s Day cards were being mass produced. Capitalism kicked in, and here we are.

How queer is Valentine’s Day?

There’s no official queer rule-book or survival guide on how to navigate Valentine’s Day.

If we look to LGBTQ history, the Mattachine Society of the 50s and 60s favoured assimilation – queer people should be able to celebrate their love just like everyone else. However the counter-cultural movements of the 70s were a bit more radical in their approach to challenging the status quo – the early leaders of the gay liberation movement would likely have viewed Valentine’s Day as a heteronormative construct.

But in a world that has embraced Marriage Equality, it’s fairly clear that queer people aren’t immune from the appeal of declarations and demonstrations of love in all its forms.

How to celebrate Valentine’s Day?

If you’re opting in to Valentine’s Day, we’ve done a quick brainstorm of potential options to help you show the world how you celebrate love.

• Check in to a hotel for the night.
• Dine at a fancy restaurant.
• Go for a scenic walk and stop for a cocktail or three en route.
• Heat up the massage oil and give each other a rub-down.
• Pour chocolate on each other and let your tongues do the talking.
• Cook together – tactile stuff like making dumplines, pasta or bread.
• Fill the bath and make it special with a bath bomb, candles, and some champagne.
• Invite a single friend over for a threesome.
• Have a movie night – category is Romance.
• Film a sex tape.
• See what’s on at the theatre.
• Order take-out and ignore Valentine’s Day altogether.