Apparently, there are trends in dating lesbians (as if fashion is not difficult enough). Some of my butch acquaintances have recently commented that femmes are now turning toward androgynous women and feminine dykes. This is supposedly because now that these femmes have flounced out of the closet, a butch is no longer an accessory to that deviant lesbian criminal act (vaguely reminiscent of those what's-in and what's-not lists, no?).
The most commonly heard critique against the butch femme community is that we try to imitate the way heterosexual couples operate. It is an idea held by not only heterosexuals, but also by the rest of the lesbian community.
How many of us have heard the phrase time and again, 'why date a pseudo-man when you can find a real one?' This phrase, and many others, is based on the popular (heterosexual) cultural stereotype of butch-femme identities built upon male and female behaviours.
This stereotype sees one of the partners as active, strong and dominant and the other as seen as passive, weak and submissive. Yet this very silly stereotype cannot hold true simply because it has to be based on the assumption that biological males are always active, strong and dominant, while biological women are always passive, weak and submissive. Would this be true for all biological men and women? If not, why should it be applicable to butch-femme roles?
I believe butches and femmes actually pose a threat to society because we question the relationship between biological sex and gender roles, created by society with its set beliefs on what is "male" and what is "female".
Butch-femme role-playing deliberately messes around with gender roles as we allow two women to occupy one, both, any or all roles as we deem fit for ourselves.
Thus, butch-femme roles are not replicas of a heterosexual pattern that disempower women and deprive them of a voice but are, in fact, anti-heterosexual in their ability to enable women to choose either role.
Butches and Femmes: Simple Preferences
So why do butches insist on being more masculine? Based on the comments I have heard, its because 'they're really men inside', and a case of 'penis envy'.
Personally, I view masculinity as a desired independence from men and a freedom from oppression. This means that butches do not necessarily want to become or be like men, but instead adopt the appearance of masculinity to signify their rejection of the male-defined traditional role of "female".
Many of the butches I know adopt a masculine sense of dressing simply because they are most comfortable in their gear of pants and shirts. Others I know, dress that way to signify their desire for other women. They also assume a hardened exterior, swaggering down the streets, loud (and foul) mouthed at times, as a means of protecting themselves.
We are not femme because it is easier to pass into the heterosexual world and obtain heterosexual status. We are femme because it is how we prefer to be. I am simply more comfortable wearing dresses and heels than when in pants and shirts. Its incredibly disconcerting to know that other queer folks would rather see us as heterosexual, than to celebrate the diversity we share.
Queer Women: Past, Present and Future
Having said that, the butch-femme concept is not new. Many butch-femme centred books based on real-life experiences during the mid 1900's (Stone Butch Blues, The Well of Loneliness) show us women who cross gender boundaries. It was a necessity at that point in time as there was no acceptance of homosexuality.
As men, they were able to "pass" in society, holding menial jobs that did not pay well, but which allowed them to put food on the table. When caught, however, they suffered tremendously, both physically and emotionally.
The early developmental lesbian (butch-femme) stages seemed to have paved the way for the gay and women's liberation for in the 1970's. Feminists believed that it was not "woman-oriented" to date masculine butches, and they were not acknowledging their womanliness. The butch-femme role-play was then thrown back into the closet.
The lesbian communities in Asia seem to be standing on the very same step America was on in the 1970's. We are on the verge of a gay woman's liberation, where within the lesbian society, a more open setting is expected.
However, could this be merely a movement of one compulsory sexuality into another? By this I mean a compulsory butch-femme dynamic switching to a more woman-oriented sexuality.
Would this also end up discriminating against the butch-femme dynamic, dismissing it as ignorant and unenlightened? Would the lesbian community decide that one sexuality must be the One Right Way for everyone else?
Venusa, 21-year-old journalism major, fabulous femme. Resides in Perth, but longs for the sordid nightlife of Hong Kong.
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