Fridae

The Editor of forplu.com, a weekly e-zine for "People Like Us" who only wants to be known as "Chief Homo Editor" (also, the "Chief Homo Officer") lives in Kuala Lumpur, the nation's capital city. By day, she trades Asian handicrafts globally to support forPLU because forPLU as the website does not generate its any revenue.

She adds, "The main reason why forPLU exists is to provide an IT-related media to allow for healthy networking amongst gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transsexuals (GLBT) and family & friends (of People Like Us) of the Asian culture. I believe we (in Asia) encounter different pressures from our western counterparts in the homosexuality realm."

About chief homo editor

æ: When did you realise you were lesbian? che: What was the process like?

che: I was about 9. Had a great crush on a celebrity (of the same sex). Couldn't get that person out of my mind for the longest time. Went through a period of confusion. I thought that to have more than mutual feelings for the same sex was something of social taboo.

I tried to 'live' with individuals of the opposite sex, but things just would not work out. I can be and do have friends of the opposite sex, but just could not fall in love with them. I realized that I could lie to myself. I came to grip with my sexual preference. I am happier.

æ: Are you out to family and friends? If yes, could you tell us something about it? Is it an important factor in your life?

che: I am not out to my family. Because my family would need to 'answer' to the society why I am who I am. I love my family too much to have them go through such 'embarrassment.' My family suspected my indifference to the marriage institution. However, we employed the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy. When the time comes, I would come to term with my sexual preference to them.

I am out to friends. They have no problems with that at all.

It is important for me to tell all about my sexual preference. However, circumstances do not permit me to do so. Nonetheless, I do believe that one's sexual preference is one's personal life and choice, and no one has the right to teach another how to love.

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æ: Do you believe in monogamous or open relationships? Are you in one?

che: Um � wow � I believe in trust in any relationship. If sex is a pleasure, then it's open relationship all the way. If sex is sacred then monogamy is the answer. I believe there's a big difference in making love and having sex.

I am in a relationship for almost 3 years. My partner and I are open in about everything. As far as I am concern, we have not cheated on each other. I think we'll keep it that way for a long time.

æ: What kind of underwear person are you?

che: Depending on my mood for that day. I can go from nothing to all sealed up!

æ: Do you work with/support any gay or lesbian community groups? How?

che: Yes, forPLU is one. Often, I support and co-sponsor gay and lesbian events. Where possible I would encourage and initiate gay and lesbian causes.

æ: What do you think we need most in Asia's gay and lesbian community?

che: Acceptance, acceptance, acceptance. We still live in fear of being exposed. There are risks of losing our families, careers/jobs, friends, status, etc. Should the society accept our ways of loving, a great degree of fear can be eradicated.

æ: What advice would you give to someone who is trying to come to terms with his or her sexuality?

che: It is not wrong, not a crime to love (in any way). Coming to term with one's sexuality opens up a whole new perspective in how one wants to lead his/her life. Being in the dark will only bring on more confusion on which path to choose. After all, life is all about making choices.

Speaking to someone who one can trust is a good way of coming to terms with his/her sexuality. Speaking out does help emotionally, and mentally.

Apr�s Interview

æ: What is your kinkiest experience?

che: In a small darkly-lit space enough for two!

æ: Which is sexier, mind or meat?

che: Mind, definitely.

æ: Towel or tissue?

che: Towel, 'cos it's recycle-able!