Fridae

About Fung

æ: When did you realise you were gay? What was the process like?

fung: I can't remember when I first realised I was gay. I only remember being quite little (about 7 or 8), when my dad brought me to a public toilet, and I couldn't help looking at the man next to me. I seemed quite exciting to me at that time. My first sexual experience was at 14. one day after school when a man started giving me a look in a public toilet� My first trip to a gay disco was at 17. The entire process of discovery for me was quite smooth, no struggle or questions why.

æ: Are you out to family and friends? If yes, could you tell us something about it? Is it an important factor in your life?

fung: I am very "out", and work with a Gay Web Show at www.radiorepublic.com. I have also been on Cable TV talking about G and L issues, and have written a book (can refer my profile). My family knows about me, of course. My mom got divorced when I was 8, and I grew up with my mom and one younger brother and sister (they are twins).

I told my mom when I was 18, my mom was shocked, but thanfully, she works at night and has many gay friends. Her first words to me were "Don't you think I am a western woman?" But after 3 weeks, she said to me, "Son, u can do anything u want, but just don't be easy when it comes to sex."

Now, she appears on my Radio Programme, and in fact joined me "International Tongzhi* Conference-Family Member Section". In my eyes, she has learned to accept my being gay and even helps with other Tongzhi. All this in addition taking care of 3 children. She's a superwoman.

æ: Do you believe in monogamous or open relationships? Are you in one?

I believe in all kinds of relationships. Whether the relationship is good or not depends on two persons' (or more) communication. If both parties agree and are happy, any arrangement can work. But for me, I prefer being monogamous, as I can be prone to jealousy. But there are times when I wonder, if I were together with a man for a few years, would I suggest breaking up if I were to find out that he does go out to seeking fun?

æ: What's your favourite CD?

fung: I really love music and I like to sing. It's very difficult to name my favourite CD. Maybe I just can just list the singers and songs I love best:
Overseas- Barbara Streisand, Madonna, Janet Jackson, Kylie Mingoue, Deborah (Debbie)Gibson
Hong Kong - Faye Wong, Jacky Cheung, Sandy Lam, Sally Yen
Japan - Momoe Yamaguchi, Akina Nakamori, Amuro Namie" That's the short list - I have over 1,000 CDs.

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æ: Have you ever participated in any pro-gay or lesbian events/parties/workshops? If so, which?

fung: In December 98, I start a Group with some friends called "Over the Rainbow" in Hong Kong since December 98. It is the first Group in Hong Kong dedicated to serving Tongzhi Parents and Family Members. We have a hotline No. (852) 2940-2728. Service Time Every Friday 8:00-10:00 pm.

Up to now, we have received over 150 calls. Within that number, the first group covers married men or women whose partners are Gay. The second group involves Tongzhi's Parents. The third group deals with problems with the Tongzhi's Family.

Over half our volunteers are not G & L, and 50% also work as social workers. Within the group, we learn more about each other, with the social workers teaching us support skills, and us teaching them about understanding the TongZhi situation. We also have a consultant, Dr Alan Li, a Canadian AIDS expert who gives us much valuable training and information.

This August, we will be publishing our book on Taiwan and Hong Kong called Over the Rainbow. The Book talks about some stories and tips about handling cases, and the latter part of the book will go into our history and Alan Li will write about the overseas "Chinese P-FLAG" situation.

æ: In the context of being an Asian gay or lesbian, do you have any personal role models/inspirations?

fung: In my mind, my one and only "teacher" is "Mr Chow Wah Shan". I met him in 1995, when he came to HK Blessed Minority Christian Fellowship to talk about being Christian and Gay. During the talk, I learned a lot about what it meant to be "human" (and not just being gay). He was the one who suggested having the first Tongzhi Conference in Hong Kong (that was in 1996). Over the years, he has given me much advice in my work, and of course, also support.

æ: What advice would you give to someone who is trying to come to terms with his or her sexuality?

fung: I think if someone feels lost about his or her sexuality, the most important is to talk to someone. There are many support groups in different countries. Listen to what everyone has to say, then choose what course seems best for you. Once you understand your sexuality, the next question is probably coming out.

There's no "sure win" coming out method. Everyone has to face it on their own terms, based on their own backgrounds. But the most important question is trying find out "WHY" you need to come out. What are your reasons? And how far do you wish to come out? If you want to be very out (such as: facing media), please prepare yourself well, know as much as you can about being gay or lesbian. Keep in mind your family's feelings. In Chinese society, what we call a "person" is not just "you", it also means your "whole family". You can face the public, but how will your family react when someone asks them "Is your son or daughter gay?"

Apres Interview

æ: Tell us something about your first sexual experience?

fung: Through my past sexual experiences, I have learned how to enjoy and respect. Sex is a thing between you and your partner (well, sometimes partners). The main thing is to enjoy it, so for me, respecting each other is a basic rule. Good sex tends to follow. I have had experiences in cars, buses, beaches, lifts, boats, done some bondage and threesomes, etc. Of course, not every time was good - and there are people who don't listen when you say "stop". If they don't know when to respect my wishes, the session ends there. If he insists and I cant fight it (it has happened before), then I will make sure never to see this m an again.

æ: What is your favourite fantasy?

fung: I still wait for my right person to appear, so my favourite fantasy is making love (not just sex) with a person that I love and who will hold me closely in his arms. I do like that feeling after sex also, being both tired and relaxed. But that person hasn't come yet, and so I will continue to wait.

æ: Which is sexier, mind or meat?

fung: Meat is sexier than mind. But, it doesn't last for the rest of your life. So if it's for the rest of your life, both is important.