Fridae

Have you ever heard of the game Six Degrees of Separation from Kevin Bacon? It's a game in which people try to trace movie stars back to Kevin Bacon. Take Marilyn Monroe, for example. She appeared in Niagra with George Ives, who in turn appeared in Stir of Echoes with Kevin Bacon. Judy Garland appeared in Judgment at Nuremberg with Maximilian Schell, who in turn appeared in Telling Lies in America with Kevin Bacon. Almost every actor in Hollywood can be traced back to Kevin Bacon in six degrees of separation or less.

Now imagine the game in reverse with a sexual twist. If you have slept with, say, 10 people, and they have each slept with 10 people, that means that you are less than two degrees of separation away from 100 people, four degrees away from 10,000 men, and six degrees away from a whopping 1,000,000 sexual partners.*

That's a lot of people to be involved with, and a lot of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) to be concerned about. Of the million people in this scenario, you might estimate that:

535 have hepatitis-A.
142 have syphilis.
1,420 have gonorrhea.
3,333 have HIV.
85,714 have HPV .
107,000 have herpes.

Suddenly Six Degrees doesn't seem like such an innocent game. The ex-lover of your last date may have fooled around with a guy who tricked with a person with all sorts of unpleasant STDs. There are literally thousands of ways those STDs can be traced back through the chain to you.

Now consider me. I am a male prostitute with 600 clients behind me (pun intended). I estimate my six degrees to include more than 455,000,000 people.* That's the entire population of the United States, Canada, United Kingdom, France, Ireland, and Belgium added together. That puts me at an unbelievably high risk for STDs.

So how do I stay safe from STDs? And for that matter, how can you do the same?

Unless you are a virgin or have been living in the Biosphere for the past ten years, you are most definitely a part of my six degrees. Fortunately it is a lot easier to play safe than you realize. Here is my strategy for playing safe.

Get vaccinated for hepatitis-a and b. There is no good reason why you should not have this done. The shots are cheap and can prevent you from becoming seriously ill and passing on the disease to people around you. Tell your doctor you want to be vaccinated for both. Men who have sex with men are a high-risk group for both diseases. If your doctor asks why you want the shots, just tell him you fall into that group and you want it done.

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Before having sex, check your partner for any visual signs of STDs. This includes odd stains in the crotch of his underwear, a smelly discharge coming out of the tip of his dick, or any unusual sores, bumps, or pimples near his cock or balls.

Use condoms during anal sex. To be even more cautious, use condoms for oral sex as well. For anal sex use latex condoms with the reservoir tip. For oral sex use unlubricated latex condoms without the tip (so you don't gag!).

Use condoms when sharing sex toys. It will make them much easier to clean, not to mention a lot safer.

If you make the choice to bareback, remember that you may not be the only one your partner barebacks with -- even if he says you are. It is one of the oldest lines in the book, and it is commonly used to seduce guys into not using condoms.

Avoid lubricants (on condoms or in bottles/tubes) that contain nonoxynol-9. It was once thought to be helpful at preventing the spread of HIV, but is now thought to actually increase your chance of getting HIV by irritating the inside of your rectum during anal sex.

Get tested for HIV every six months. Get tested every three months if you regularly engage in anal sex without condoms with multiple partners. You have several testing options including your doctor, home test kits, and confidential testing programs through your local health department.

Have your doctor test you for anal warts every three years, or every year if you have HIV. Anal warts are linked with anal cancer, and early detection and treatment can save your life.

Wash yourself with soap and water after sex. Taking a piss also helps remove unfriendly bacteria from your urethra, an especially important precaution if you bareback. (Even so, this will not protect you from HIV or STDs).

Limit your number of partners by developing a monogamous romantic relationship, an ongoing "fuck buddy" friendship, or, if you have an escort business, a repeat clientele. The fewer people you play with, the less risk you face for STDs.

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Do not assume you're the only one. As an escort, I make my living from men who enjoy discreetly cheating on their wives and lovers. As beautiful as your relationship may be, your partner may have secrets.

Know that from time to time your luck will run out. Because it is so common to have more than one STD at once, if you have an STD make sure your doctor tests you for other STDs as well. Your doctor may not automatically test you for other STDs, so don't be afraid to request the extra tests.

When you are playing always remember the six degrees of separation. Your boyfriend may have tricked with a guy who was exposed to herpes or gonorrhea or HIV while cruising in a bookstore. Sooner or later STDs could travel through those six degrees to you. The only question is whether you are going to be protecting yourself when the time comes.

* Mathmatically inclined people will note that I assumed no overlap between them. I think this is a fair assumption when you consider that ten partners is a rather conservative number. Once your "degree chain" expands to include someone who enjoys promiscuous sex and your numbers will really begin to expand. I went with the 10 for the sake of simplicity.

** Wondering how I did the math? I assumed a progression rate of 15 sexual partners per degree after my initial 600. For the sake of simplicity I assumed the overlap cancelled out the additional people from my sex life outside of my work.

Aaron Lawrence is a career escort, porn star and producer, writer, and all-around entrepreneur. His books, 'Suburban Hustler: Stories of a Hi-Tech Callboy' and 'The Male Escort's Handbook: Your Guide to Getting Rich the Hard Way' are available in gay bookstores and on amazon.com. His website (http://www.aaronlawrence.com) is part of the sexual health project.

Editor's note: How many people have you slept with in your lifetime? Join poll now.