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27 Dec 2001

surviving the holidays sober

Getting through the holidays sober -- or at least not wasted -- can be a difficult task for some.

Winter is a time of celebrations, parties, gift giving, thankfulness, and quite often a lot of drugs and alcohol. Getting through the holidays sober -- or at least not wasted -- can be a difficult task for some.

"This time of year brings a lot of pressures and expectations, and that's even before our sexuality comes into it," Mandy Harling, Lesbian Youth Worker at Alcohol East, in East London, told Rainbow Network, a British Web site.

Recreational drinkers and drug users may use substances excessively during the holiday season. For recovering addicts or people who don't drink alcohol or take drugs, the holidays can present an even more difficult time to abstain.

"Regular stresses become more exaggerated. There are a lot of triggers during the holidays," says Jenny, a musician in New York City. "Being gay is only part of the stress."

Jenny is a recovering alcoholic who hasn't had a drink in almost three years. "Finances are more of a strain during the holiday season. It's nerve racking to see people you haven't seen in a while. Feelings come up from being in a family setting again," says Jenny. "It can be stressful if you have food issues on top of everything and you are worrying about gaining weight. If you aren't having a great time you feel disconnected, there is pressure."

Years ago Jenny temporarily eliminated the stress by binge drinking during the holidays. "There is a lot of stress with family around the holidays, more stress with relationships and more obligations. Alcohol used to help me get through the holidays," says Jenny. "It made time go faster and alleviated the tensions." But in the end drinking only exacerbated her problems.

Steve's problems spun out of control last year when he was using alcohol and drugs to relieve anxiety and depression. "I was getting into trouble at work, I had just ended a long term relationship and I was very depressed. The holidays made everything worse because I am not out to my family and I am usually alone on the holidays," he says. "I had a lot of unsafe sex and I put myself in dangerous situations. I've got better ways of dealing with the holidays now."

Not being with family during the holidays helped Steve, although it left him feeling isolated and lonely. Avoiding going home can help if you have somewhere else to go. "I went home for Thanksgiving, but I'm not going home for Christmas," says Jenny. Others, like Steve, don't go home at all.

Since the terrorist attacks, however, this has gotten more difficult. "On one hand I want to see my family more but it is also a more depressing time celebrate," says Steve, who now surrounds himself with friends during the holidays.
For those who do go home for the holidays, there are often relatives to deal with who don't "approve of your lifestyle," says Jenny. "If you are introducing someone new to your family, that is hard. Especially if relatives aren't completely comfortable with you," she says. "That is tough all year round but it gets hard to avoid relatives during the holiday season."

Whether or not LGBT people should be more concerned about drinking during the holidays is up for debate. However, there are several studies that have found that gays and lesbians drink more alcohol than heterosexuals.

"Studies indicate that, when compared with the general population, LGBT people are more likely to use alcohol and drugs, have higher rates of substance abuse, are less likely to abstain from use, and are more likely to continue heavy drinking into later life," according to a report from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). The report is available to providers and it's called, "A Provider's Introduction to Substance Abuse Treatment for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Individuals".

One of the earliest studies evaluating the association between risky behaviour and sexual orientation found that GLB youth who self-identify during high school report more risky behaviours, including sexual risk behaviours and substance use. The participants were also more likely to report engaging in multiple risk behaviours and initiating risk behaviours at an earlier age. Study findings were reported in the journal Paediatrics in 1998.

"I still drink during the holidays," says Steve, "but I drink in moderation because I know if I go overboard I could end up in some trouble. The unsafe sex, the drugs, it all went hand and hand with drinking."

For Jenny, having a couple of drinks just isn't an option. "I find other ways of coping. I try to stay in close contact with my friends. I also try to keep active and busy, and I indulge in things that won't hurt me."

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