In Ms Scary's opinion, Madonna Louis Veronica Ciccone Ritchie has always worked hard and succeeded in keeping one step ahead of the music and fashion industry.
At first listen and in comparison to the electro exhilaration that is Ray Of Light (1998) and the sonic sunburst that is Music (2000), American Life makes Madonna sounds as if one too many lessons of Ashtanga yoga and a strict adherence to a macrobiotic diet have left her too spent to repeat the success of her earlier multi-platinum albums.
Comprising of 11 new songs, the understated American Life offers a pared-down sound and features the mother of reinvention at her most introspective and self-reflective. Produced by electronic whiz Mirwais Ahmadzai, Madonna's new album also showcases her mature song-writing skills and her newly acquired guitar strumming skills.
The album opens with "American Life" - the first single off the album and one of the worst Madonna songs ever. Overwhelmed by a bombardment of Mirwais' electronic twirls and beeps, the chameleonic diva tries to break new ground by doing an imitation of Missy Elliot only to end up sounding like a disgruntled Vanilla Ice (remember him?).
Then there is "Hollywood", a frantic mess of a song in which Madonna gripes about how Hollywood is an oh-not-so-nice place to be in and sings in a manner which can perhaps be best described as a cheap Cardigans rip-off.
Still, the dubious honour of being the most horrendous track on the album goes to "Mother And Father", a hair-raising and goose-bumps inducing song where the 44-year old singer regresses back to her Like A Virgin salad days and attempts to squeal in a key one would associate with her daughter Lourdes.
Thankfully, just as Ms Scary was about to cancel her lifetime membership to the Madonna fan club, the rest of American Life redeems itself with solid pop gems one has come to expect (and demand) from the Queen of Pop.
Other outstanding tracks include "X-Static Process", an intimate acoustic lullaby which proves once and for all that her commendable vocal performance in Evita was not a fluke; and "Intervention", a lovely heartfelt ode to her son backed by a guitar-driven melody reminiscent of New Order circa 1990s.
Then there is also the dance floor friendly "Nobody Knows Me", the catchy "Love Profusion", the Mirwais-stutter-effect-and-vocoder-distortion-filled "I'm So Stupid" and the fitting closure provided by "Easy Ride".
As the album draws to a close, Ms Scary heaves a sigh of relief at the fact that while American Life may not be one of Madonna's more groundbreaking works, it does grow on the listener and provides proof that the pop provocateur still has what it takes to hold on to her pop throne - even if it is by the tips of her well-manicured nails.
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