Fridae

In a relatively male-dominated industry like filmmaking, opportunities to talk to a female director are rare - especially when she is straight female director who has just co-written and directed a gay film.

The Man of My Life, by Zabou Breitman, is about a happily married straight man Frederic (Bernard Campan) who invites his new neighbour Hugo (Charles Berling) to dine with his wife and friends. It turns out that Hugo is a flaming homosexual with challenging views on love, fashion, art, architecture and oh well, everything else that gay men understand better than straight men.

After one night of DMCs (that's 'deep, meaningful conversation'), Frederic finds himself increasingly drawn to Hugo. It didn't seem possible, but Hugo seems to have stirred emotions that have lain dormant in Frederic all this while. Frederic's marriage quickly falls to pieces...

One of the things that the film does very well is its portrayal of the gay character. Hugo is depicted with all the egotism, artistic bent, eloquence and vanity typical of poofs - right down to the sexy jogging shorts that reveal the underside of his butt. Zabou also seems to understand what makes a gay man and straight man tick, and deftly plays off their differences during their interactions.

Zabou, who is the daughter of two French actors, employs a mix of theatrical devices (tableaus, spotlights) and cinematic techniques (novel cutaways, intercutting) to illuminate her story. The cast, which includes Lea Drucker (playing the beleaguered wife) and several child actors, is uniformly good.

On the phone from Paris, Zabou talks to Fridae about the film and her observations of gay men:

æ: Why did you choose to make a gay film, even though you're a straight woman?

Zabou: I don't think of it as a gay film at all. Just because it involves two men loving each other doesn't automatically make it a gay film. I'd like to think of it as a film about romance, tenderness and the choices you make when you fall in love.

Frederic wants to leave his wife and kids because he's fallen in love with Hugo. But I was more interested in Frederic's choice than his ambiguous sexuality. I was more interested in his questions: "Could I leave my family for Hugo? Could I love a man instead of a woman? Will my life be more complicated now?"

Of course, the fact that he's leaving his wife for a man instead of a woman makes the choice all that much harder. Because it's less conventional, it hurts his wife even more. She's completely at a loss and she can't even put words to the situation. She can't find a way of describing her emotions. She's in absolute pain

æ: Do you know men who cheat on their wives by sleeping with other men?

Zabou: Yes, of course. It's not uncommon. I knew a man once who was gay for a long time. Then, he turned straight and found a girlfriend. But later, she found him cheating on her - with a woman, not a man. Sexuality is a fluid thing.

Charles Berling, the actor who plays Hugo, has also told the press that he lived with a man for two years when he was in his 20s. But nowadays, he's more into women.

æ: Is that why you cast him as Hugo, the gay character?

Zabou: Well, Charles is a good and respected actor. And he really understood and loved the role.

æ: Personally, I feel that your film is rather accurate in its portrayal of Hugo as a white-collar homosexual male. His stylishness, egotism, vanity, defensiveness, eloquence. The wardrobe is also spot-on, particularly the jogging shorts. But you also portrayed Hugo as having some pent-up frustrations. He is angry at society, his father, and possibly himself. Do you see gays as being a generally frustrated lot?

Zabou: Members of minority groups tend to experience some form of frustration. Minorities typically have to fight harder for acceptance and recognition. And when you've been doing that for years and years, the frustration and anger build up. So it's not surprising that Hugo is that way.

Minorities have to learn to be stronger and cleverer than the majority, just to survive. And you can see those traits in Hugo.

æ: How interesting. You also touched on the issue of homophobia in one scene�

Zabou: I'm interested in homophobia because misogyny (hatred for women) and homophobia are very similar. The derogatory labels used to demean women and gay men are similar.

In one scene, Hugo is asked by a straight man if he is a flight attendant. Here, Hugo is automatically pigeonholed in terms of his possible profession. Straight men tend to demean women in the same way, by stereotyping and labeling them and thinking that they can belong to only certain professions. It has to do with the straight man's ego, you see. Straight men often think that they are the center of the universe.

But that sort of egotism isn't restricted to straight men. In gay relationships, I think that tops also see themselves as the center of the universe. Because they are the ones who penetrate, they see themselves as the more powerful ones in a relationship. The ones who are penetrated - the women and the gay bottoms - are perceived as weaker. I've heard fathers of boys say: "If my son is gay, I hope that he's the one who gives it, instead of the one getting it."

æ: I'm sure some would object to that view, though I find it very interesting. Now, you've also portrayed Hugo as having a tumultuous relationship with his father. What do you have to say about gay men's relationships with their fathers?

Zabou: It's not just gay men - all men have difficult relationships with their fathers. Men have this issue about wanting to be in power, about being on top. So men would generally have complex relationships with their fathers - because they wish to replace their fathers in the seat of power. In the movie, Hugo and his father both want to outdo each other. Only when the father becomes seriously ill does he concede the seat of power to Hugo, and Hugo finally agrees to repair their relationship.

æ: Hmm� how Freudian. Well, that's all the time that we have for this interview, Ms Breitman. Thank you very much.

Zabou: Thank you.