Fridae

Well I think that's very good and I congratulate Fridae on your success in winning the case, as well you should have (I think).

However I think there's another situation or question you have to answer to, that being your plan to eliminate explicit pics from member profiles. Yes, yes, I know all about what it says in your rules regarding pics, but the fact is, Fridae let those rules slide for quite some time and now you want to enforce them seemingly because other members of the LGBT community take offense to them, which I don't believe. You will say that members can still have those pics and members can still access them IF they have a PERKS membership. So is this a subtle plan to sell more PERKS memberships? It WILL fail.

Fridae is a very good site and I personally derive a good deal of information from it on a wide variety of subjects and interests. However boys will be boys and we do like to see pics that titillate us, excite us and draw what I believe the vast majority, to your site. Perhaps Fridae wants to become another UTOPIA, which might be difficult. However I think your main competition is Gay Romeo which at this moment has (for example) 66 visitors from Vietnam while Fridae has 26 and 1859 visitors from Thailand while Fridae has 68. I suppose you could say that GR is more international in it's scope, but were I an official of Fridae I'd be wondering what the hell is going on and why don't we have more or as many, visitors as they do.

Perhaps you're not going to go ahead with your plan, I still see lots of flesh here, and if that is correct, I think it's a good change of plan.

Frankly I have been surprised that there hasn't been any discussion about this by members, but then, I don't recall seeing an article dealing with the subject that would give members an open opportunity to comment.

I didn't renew my PERKS which I've had for a few years because I really don't see what it has to offer now. Of couse I like to receive HEARTS (and roses too) but frankly I feel no need to save them forever.

If your changes go into effect I think Fridae will continue to be popular with the LgBT community, notice that the "g" might however, get a bit smaller....

I don't want to take sides, its just good that the disputes are being resolved.

However, I will not be convinced that Fridae is as campaigning as it was, until I see some sort of report or investigation as to why there appears to have been no reported judgement in the case that Mr. Ravi brought seeking leave to challenge 377A in Singapore, nearly 7 months ago. The judges appeared sympathetic. What is the new Fridae doing to establish the facts?

As for the pics policy, there's public and private. Explicit pics belong in the private boxes. But satirical pics or other emblematic pics should be allowed, since not everyone is here to show off their good looks, but to participate in a community, one that sometimes judges people by appearances.

whatever..

congratulation XD it is easy to access with fridae.com than .asia

I agree with ThayT, Fridae keeps making changes to encourage PERKS paying members to drop off.

I'm glad that the "battle" was won, but since there wasn't a huge difference and my access was still normal, it didn't affect many of us.

I have the greatest respect for the New Management and all the great work it is doing.
However it always causes me some concern, (and scepticism), when a former CEO, (staff member etc), is defamed by the New Management.
The person in question is no longer able to directly respond to allegations, or refute them if they are untrue.

I think it shows greater integrity to acknowledge the valuable contributions and legacy of former CEO's, staff etc. and to let the actions of the New Management, attract positive rapport with it's membership.

Members seeking a balanced report really don't want to hear just one side of the story.
And members with "a life" really don't want to hear about internal squabbles and office politics.

The above news article could have simply read
INFORMATION FOR MEMBERS
Fridae.asia will now be also accessible through it's former domain name Fridae.com.

END OF STORY

Thanks again for providing a great quality service for LGBT people to meet in a positive and friendly environment.

It seems to me that the traffic on Fridae has dropped considerably. And I agree with #1. While I can see the value in banning explicit public photos, the new Fridae rules have gone COMPLETELY over the top in basically disallowing nearly everything. I was already prepared not to renew my Perks just because the traffic and interactivity has dropped so precipitously in the past three years (I guess people are migrating to apps and other online sites); this photo decision just sealed the deal. I don't foresee ever paying for Perks again.

Also agree with #7.

I also find it pretty damn curious that Fridae made no previous reference to its ongoing troubles, with the CEO, when a number of other, murky stories elsewhere on the internet don't exactly inspire confidence in the new management, or the transparency of what, Exactly, the issues were - yet NOW we get some kind of "We're the good guys" statement? I'm sorry, but No. No no no. This new Fridae is being what we Irish call 'shifty' - or evasive - in a number of ways.

And, yes indeed, the new laws/rules/censorship regarding Nudity, in particular, are offensive to the members, As well as seeming like trying to force users into paying for memberships. I've nothing against Fridae seeking to/needing to monetise its users, and rake in more payments - fine, as it'd be crazy not to.

However.

The new rules stink. Users are being censored by Fridae now, which means that it has no moral high ground any more to Ever report on gay people being muzzled, silenced or censored anywhere else, again - how can Fridae report on censorship, and rights, when it now seeks to ban/block 'offensive imagery'? Says Who? WHO is determining what is 'offensive', or 'sexual' - and for what purposes?

I'm really annoyed this, as it, for example, means that Fridae would block a Lot of art. Nude photography, painting, expression etc is a valid art form, with international respect and critical kudos - not Here any more, it ain't. I already know some people preparing to leave this new Fridae - the truth about what this bold new Fridae is, and is becoming, is yet another story that Fridae itself is ignoring, while the users have noticed.

Fridae - Whatever your mysterious new agenda is, and Whoever you're trying to appease, now - this isn't the site I first joined, and I Don't like this new direction...

Ditto #9. I am now cancelling my Fridae account.

Not that anyone in management cares about what members think. 30 days till my perks expire and, for the first time in 5 years, I am certainly not renewing. The pool of members has remained stagnant for years, it's always the same faces. And Fridae's visibility amongst gay Australians is next to nil. In the midst of all its (apparent) community work, has it forgotten its primary identity as a dating site? Remember, bringing like-minded people together is fundamental to empowering them, not travel brochures.

Hear, hear, drewsbluesyd! Petty bickering amongst ourselves and against each other just makes us look bad.

I go on "feel". These new rules make Fridae feel an unwelcoming and uncomfortable place.

I have spent enough of my life putting up with other people telling me what I can and cannot do. The joy of the gay community is that we resist that.

Fridae is no longer part of that community in my view.

#9
Users are being censored by Fridae now, which means that it has no moral high ground any more to Ever report on gay people being muzzled, silenced or censored anywhere else, again - how can Fridae report on censorship, and rights, when it now seeks to ban/block 'offensive imagery'? Says Who? WHO is determining what is 'offensive', or 'sexual' - and for what purposes?

Absolutely correct and well said.

#11: "In the midst of all its (apparent) community work, has it forgotten its primary identity as a dating site?"

When was the last time a gay dating site has been seen organising a LGBT diversity conference with a blue-chip MNC like IBM? It's obvious enough, if anyone wants to use a sleazy thrashy site go elsewhere. Fridae has made its choice and you can too.

Couldn't agree with you more, kellen. Some form of self-censorship is helpful especially when one is trying to move away from wanton sleaze and taking baby steps toward greater respectability vis-a-vis the world at large. After all, if mainstream society views gay subculture as nothing more than, well, a SUBCULTURE obsessed with sex and kink, shouldn't we have the balls to shoulder some responsibility for creating that kind of misguided view and try to clean up the image we've helped to create?

re #15 / #16
Great points to raise for debate.
However, Fridae is primarily an Online Social Network.
If you compare Fridae to other Straight online social networks,
you would have to agree it is much less sleazy and has an
excellent image. While many other networks use invitations such as
"Guys come to our Site and Get Laid with Local Girls in your area",
Fridae has an entirely different public image.
I hardly think that having erotic images in a person's profile, is going to turn Sponsors away; it doesn't seem to be an issue for Facebook etc.
If a sponsor wishes a gay site to be "squeaky clean" before it will deal with them, I would suspect this to be an issue of homophobia and discrimination, rather than industry standards.

Re #16

As for taking responsibility for "mainstream society" viewing "gay subculture..as obsessed with sex and kink".
1. This is the view of a small minority of ignorant people.
2. We do not play the "victim" by taking responsibility to change the views of those who wish to persecute others. We address this issue by "condemning" such views and the ignorance behind them.
3. When you say that "WE" have helped to create a
bad image of gay people - who is "WE"?
Most of the gay people I know are ordinary people
and nothing like the sleazy, kinky people you mention.
4. We do not "try to clean up the image" created in people's distorted views. The vast majority of gay people are members of "mainstream society".
We do not need to make excuses for, (a minority group of), "sleazy men".
Do members of the straight community approach the gay community to apologise for the sleazy behaviour of ,(a minority group of), straight men?

Just a general observation : in any kind of interaction or relationship (including the broader one between mainstream society and gay subculture), it always takes two to tango. So, every relationship carries with it benefits and responsibilities.

To say, therefore, that mainstream society only has itself to blame for having a distorted or lopsided view of gay people is, in my view, a fiction and reflects a warped view of life that is untenable because, while gay people have a right to be treated as co-equal partners with straight people in this thing called life we have NO right to demand that straight people treat us the way we want to be treated. That kind of respect is earned.

And, every human being earns such respect by giving that respect first. To me, letting your crown jewels hang out for all and sundry at a gay pride parade is disrespectful to participants who don't wish to see them. Afterall, one cannot assume that the only people who take part in a gay pride event are all members of the LGBT community, can we? Likewise, publishing your crown jewels on a gay website such as Fridae is equally disrespectful to others generally because we cannot assume that those who view the site are all from the LGBT community.

So, sprucing up one's own home to make it decent for the benefit of invited guests is, in most circustances, an accepted norm and an expression of respect for one's guests. Likewise, the new Fridae rules on decency.

Thank you, drewblueSYD. In response to #15, every site including Grindr is what the user makes of it, they can all be sleazy because sleazy members are inevitable on all sites. Not everyone who uses "those other" sites are necessarily sleazy either. If Fridae had paid more attention to increasing its user base, perhaps some of us might not have to resort to such "sleazy" sites to meet fresh faces.

In failing to attract greater membership (which other site has to resort to such frequent and major discount of paid membership?), Fridae has not succeeded in its primary objective as a social networking or dating site. At the end of the day, no matter how many accolades they get for community work, if they have overlooked their fundamental principles and failed to appease those whom they were meant to "empower", it's not a job well-done.

Well to be honest I really couldn't give two hoots about the squabbling between management and some guy who left, but I'm glad we have found a forum to discuss the new direction of the site; most notably the new photo policy.

As I understand it all nudity is now banned, which is very odd as seeing as the policy came into force on 12th April there certainly is still a lot of flesh on show! Like many others I would like to know who this 'moral minority' are who've been whispering in the management's ear. Since when did a picture of a guy on the beach wearing swim shorts become 'indecent'? And what about all those thousands of bathroom mirror self portraits, are they to be banned also?

Ok I can understand explicit cock shots, porn stills, close up of bare-backing etc are not what everybody wants to see, so its fair and reasonable (IMHO) to expect members to place them in a vault. However this does smack of commercialism seeing as the private photo function has been removed, so now members who want to show their bits (or even an exposed ankle) have to pay for perks. I do understand the site has to generate income to survive but what gets me is the draconian and almost medieval attitude towards nudity.

Yes the site needs to be inclusive, (in my experience lesbians don't want to look at cocks). Yes the site needs to aware of the many religious and cultural differences between the many countries it operates in. But no nudity at all?

What about that flashing Fridae Shop ad on the home page with the three guys wearing briefs? Double standards anyone?

The photo policy appears to have been written in the dark ages, this is 2112 and I thought we'd long since moved away from the Judeo-Christian child rearing ethics that make people feel guilty about their bodies and sexuality. It's a gay networking site and people (regardless of their religious and cultural sensibilities) should know what they are letting themselves in for when they log on.

Management should listen to the membership because it's we who will vote with our feet and head off to Manjam. And just in case anyone thinks this is a moan about not being able to look at naughty pics... If we wish to view porn there are plenty of other places we can visit to do that.

Oh and what about the Tribes by the way? Lots of naughty pictures in there...are they to be banned now?

I don't expect Fridae to choose between being a harem or a monastery. There is plenty of scope to strike a balance, but the new photo policy does precious little to encourage me to stay when my perks run out in July.

Let's have some consistency please Fridae, you can start by taking down all nudity in your adverts.

Now please excuse me as I have to take a shower. I promise I will wear a full length Victorian style bathing suit as by the look of things they are making a comeback.....

P.S. I agree with #1, #8, #9, #17.

It's all very well to suggest that this is 'just' Fridae trying to create some kind of 'decent' average, and style, for users' profiles to fit into. And, yes, I don't think that most people here necessarily want or need to see obviously explicit pics - something called 'common sense' should be able to see the difference between a nude pic, and someone getting pounded/sucking cock/etc. THAT level of sexuality is easily catered for on several other sites.

But.

Again, the argument returns to censorship - Nudity is NOT the same as Explicit Sexuality, and I think it's wrong, just wrong the way Fridae is now trying to determine what IT says is acceptable, rather than the users. Who was asked if they wanted to see nude pics removed here, or some undefined level of 'decency' imposed on users? I wasn't asked - were you?

Fridae's new 'moral' rules would see it blocking imagery from a vast range of artists, and genres. From the likes of Michaelangelo and Carravagio et al to Bacon and Freud, All such great and critically respected artists (who created and formed entire sections of what 'Art' is, and how people would express themselves) would fall foul of this new Fridae, which is now equating ALL nudity with 'unacceptable' and 'explicit' imagery, which is the kind of nonsense I expect to see from certain Third-World fundamentalist countries, but Not from This site.

That's the key part to my/this argument - that this site is trying to impose some retrospective, blinkered and non-transparent 'order' on users, and is, in the process, abandoning both whatever moral high ground it previously had (how can a 'gay' website claim to represent its members, and to represent gay interests, when it suddenly starts rolling out an undefined censorship that also attacks Art - through the medium of Photography), as well as turning into a site that's clearly becoming more corporate and less gay-friendly/interested by the week.

Oh, of course there's no reply/engagement from the site's management here, on this highly-contentious topic about Fridae's new direction, and future. However, right when the CEO left under a cloud, various people had said to me: "Next, they'll ban 'gay' pics and nudity, and Then Fridae will start trying to ditch its 'gay' identity to become some kind of media or networking site."

Well, here we are, with Step One underway, and Fridae attempting to strip out the 'too-gay' element from this GAY website. To misquote Orwell, under these new steps: "All gays are created equal ... But some are created less equal than others."

Off I go to get ready for work, before some Fridae Suit pops up to delete my/your criticism, with some new rule of "Fridae deserves the right to remove content that is inflammatory, critical, rebellious or that we just don't like, especially from users who won't do what they're told."

But, lastly, after eight years or whatever, I don't think I can renew my Perks, either, when they expire - this new Fridae is shifting into something colder, more corporate, and hypocritical - while I Don't personally need to see explicit pics/content, I want the Right to be able to do so, as a free-thinking adult, and, to me, these new rules represent an attack on Art, as well as steps into censorship - and THOSE are what I don't want to support with My hard-earned money...

Also, #21 was pretty damn right in what he said in his points - Fridae's very own ads fall foul to the new rules, which makes this site even more hypocritical, at present...

Drama drama.
Fridae making lots of money with advertising and site traffic.
All these new rules are big turn off.
More like empowering the management n $$$ in their pocket

As #21 has said, lesbians don't generally like to see cocks hanging out. And, they have as much right to use this site as the rest of us. So, what's wrong with a little common decency?

While I'm at it, I might as well point out that, as laudable as these community work may be, they have a limited sphere of influence, i.e. they do not benefit those Asian LBGT who do not live in Asia. Fridae has the opportunity to raise its international profile and in doing so also raise the profile of the gay Asian person worldwide.

Focussing on a greater global presence would ensure those Asian LGBT who are ethnic minorities in their respective countries have a sanctuary where they can meet people without being subjected to the racist sentiments that exist on other sites. As it stands, the number of new Australian profiles with a photo and content is woeful.

Perhaps they should change their mission statement to "Empowering Gay Asians", to include the rest of us who do not necessarily live in Asia. Why else would you have a global member base? We have our own suite of issues being a minority within a minority. Isn't that a cause worth pursuing?

Instead of banning explicit pictures across the board, why not create a special folder for them in everyone's account? So members who want to see explicit photos can visit that folder in someone else's profile and members who do not don't have to. There can be a limit e.g. 3 explicit photos can be uploaded to the explicit photos account for non perks users and 30 for perks users.

And clear guidelines for explicitness could be spelt out e.g. excessive frontal nudity, obvious sex scenes etc.

Quick poll: Should boldnyoung's (post #24) profile pic be disallowed? To be frank, this page looks reasonably respectable and worksafe except for that questionable pic.

#27/Gwen87, Explicit photos can be in each member's Vault section provided they have Perks which I think is fair enough.

Couldn't agree more, kellen. On both counts.

I think post #24's ass and cock looks ok.. don't discriminate ;-)

#28...Thats a good question. Personally I don't find his main pic offensive even in the context of this discussion. I'd like to be able to make the choice of clicking on his profile. The choice should be mine.

The "decision" to remove explicit pics is absolutely ridiculous.
Who are the hags supposed to have been offended? In any event they'd be a tiny majority, if they exist, which I don't believe...

As in all things, if you don't like, you can choose to walk out the door. Fridae's management has set the rules that apply to all who use the site. No one's holding a gun to your head and force feeding you. The choice is yours.

#28
Quick poll: #24 win Cutie pie.

Totally agree with #31.

As for #33. Don't waste my time.

Have to admit I'm also not convinced about the new direction that Fridae appears to be taking, especially there being no discussion or explanation about the changes to photo policies.
I just renewed my perks prior but would not have had I known that this was happening.
Good to see that others are also feeing the same and hopefully management will take some of this feedback on board. This short sighted approach will cost revenue in the long run and rightly so. Have they considered doing a few polls to see what the users really want?
Many times I've smiled at some of the profile pics and this is what keeps the site fun. There needs to be a balance of naughty and nice, paid and non paid to keep you coming back!

Hmmm ... sebastiancdn, that comment should be addressed to Fridae's new management. The new rules are there. You choose to live with them or you log out. The choice is yours, buddy.

Incidentally, the use of 'our', 'we' and 'us' at the very start of this story is somewhat disingenuous for the site to claim, given the hostile nature of the site's falling out with... Drumroll... The site's founder/former CEO.

So, who is this 'us', and How, exactly, is this site 'theirs'?!

Apart from having successfully driven off the guy that started this website - which makes the new/current management look like cuckoos in the nest - THIS Fridae is not THE Fridae of old, as this hypocritical and egregious new direction is proving.

As some who works with words and language for a living, tearing through thousands of words a day to put stories into several newspapers, and often having to edit and check the words of government ministers when they land on my desk, I can tell you that I have a pretty damn exact eye for What words can really mean, and How they can be accurately used.

In this respect, this very story by Fridae is misleading and self-serving - and its failure to disclose the full truth of what, exactly, has been going on with Whoever now runs this site, and what their agenda is, now, is also non-transparent and questionable.

Sure, most users/members won't have noticed, or even think about such things - but I'm one of Those annoying, questioning, suspicious people (perhaps because I'm a journalist/editor) that's looking at the bigger picture of how New Fridae works - and I don't like what's there, behind the stonewalling facade. So, no, I won't renew these Perks when they run out; Fridae won't care to lose my revenue, but I'm not comfortable with supporting this site any more, on the direction it's heading...

Thank u for all the hearts n msg. Xoxo

#38. I'm not an editor or journalist but I totally understand where you're coming from.

For years, I was a daily visitor to Fridae. Recently, it's more in the region of weekly. It seems both the quality and quantity of news has dropped away under the new management, making the site less attractive.

The new photo policy is bordering on puritan and, since when has the gay community been puritan? I, too, wonder where the new management is planning to take Fridae. They certainly have given US - those who fund them - no indication.

My perks have nearly 2 years to run, since I jumped in on the CNY "Special offer" but, unless something really positive happens, not only will I not be renewing the perks but I'll be closing my account long before they expire.

Gayromeo has a lot more to offer than the 'new' Fridae. My time is spent there these days.

I just checked into the Fridae Shop, which I abandoned years ago, due to what I considered to be absurdly high prices.

The first page, after I clicked "wear", presented me with a whole array of "clothed groin" photos, which were explicitly banned in the new photo guidelines.

So I then clicked on "underwear" and was presented with another array of "clothed groin" pics.

I was proud of my underwear/swimwear-making efforts and posted some "clothed groin" shots of same. After Fridae's threats - I mean "new guidelines", I removed them.

There's hypocrisy at large here. Fridae has not in any way censored their own shop. Then again, how do you sell underwear and swimwear if you can't show it?

i am with mr ThayT and many of the other posts of similar vain your 'corporate' moves are in the wrong direction i joined fridae to be able to express myself and my ideas freely, you new policy does not allow me to do this so i will look elsewhere. pity, the greed factor wins again , bye!

That new policy *MAY* be connected with their plans to launch an iPhone app... I guess you all know how Apple is about "this kind of" pictures. So probably, it's not Fridae which "censors", but forced to by Apple (if they want to get into the AppStore and stay there).

ps i did send a message to the management about 3 weeks ago commenting on their new policy. i am still waiting a reply. v rude!

I will not renew perks for the reasons stated by others. The application of the "no sleaze" rule is inconsistent.

I will not renew perks for the reasons stated by others. The application of the "no sleaze" rule is inconsistent.

Saying that the rule is inconsistent is akin to insisting that you can wear only your underwear at a shopping mall because there's a men's underwear fashion show featuring models wearing erm underwear. Try that next time and see if you would be thrown out by security.

Well I'm pleased that my post (#1) got some discussion going here.

In my initial response to the subject (which I made directly to the webmaster when I received the notice) I wondered about those adverts for underwear, calendars, swimwear etc., ; would they be banned too? The response to that was that no, advertising would not be included in the clean it up program. So I guess if members are willing to advertise themselves, then provocative pics will be OK.

I suggested that a more secure method of entry be set-up. I suggested a system similar to that of my bank in which after I enter my user name and password, I have to answer one or more questions which I have created. As it stands now, anyone can go to the personal pages without signing in or being a member and view the "thumbs". A more secure entry system would protect Fridae and the privacy of members.

So the question shouldn't be - what should we take away? but rather - how can we make our system better and more private while accommodating the members?

Fridae has lost it's way. There used to be so many people and it used to be a great community. Now it's plain boring.

I really don't give a toss about the obvious double standards of management regarding profile vs advertising pics. All I want is to be able to connect with some really interesting people.

Please Fridae, can we have the original Fridae back again?

#1. Not only the G that gets smaller. The L even seems gone.

The banning of nudity in any form on this paid site is nothing more than sheer hypocrisy. As others have said, this prevents the posting of images by some of the greatest artists in history. Yet, in its Tribes list, fridae has actively encouraged and tolerated a BB+ site. Not only does this promote a type of sexual activity that is inherently one of the most dangerous, it is packed full of highly explicit photographs - far more so than any I have seen in individual profiles.

I happen to think fridae remains a great social networking site. But, as others have said, there is a very serious danger that it is losing out to other similar sites that have far larger memberships - particularly with members who are far more regularly on-line. I'm happy to retain my membership - for now. But childish censorship and overt inconsistencies have already raised red flags in my mind.

Cangrats, more easy with dot com !

I guess they have to ban those pics due to the launching of their new app in order to be in line with the "Cupertino" guideline and regulation...

Well done ThayT -- about time this was discussed - why can't Fridae set up a Survey Monkey and let us all vote on the issue.... they conned me into buying two years worth of Perks and then I find that most of the guys will bugger off to other sites as it has become so boring... xcx

@ #53 Manhunt and Gayromeo are two gay social sites that have mobile apps and NO ban on nudity. There's something more to this....

@ Andy370 You can't have the old Fridae back without having the old management back. Sadly, that seems unlikely at best.

Re: Fridae's new "Photo Censorship Campaign",
(also known as the "Put that thing away Policy").

Perhaps the new management is Straight -
and are Offended by Gay nudity?? :)

But Seriously...
The above article makes the claim:
"the new management who are totally committed to serving the LGBT community.."

Serving? Oh, like asking what you need - and helping?
Community? So...something like working together and everyone has a voice and gets to participate?

Maybe the upcoming tag line will soon be changed from
"Empowering Gay Asia" to
"Empowering Gay Asia - through Moral Dictatorship" !!

I'm feeling so "Empowered" already !
(just a minute - while I go and put some clothes on :)