Fridae

A spin-off from 2003's Daredevil starring the bloated Ben Affleck struggling in a red PVC suit, the Jennifer Garner starring vehicle Elektra features the most toxic lesbian kiss in movie history.

Administered by hip-swaying villainness Typhoid on Elektra's puckers (excess collagen alert!), the lip-lock between the two hot chicks is one of the rare visual highlights in an otherwise dreary superhero-type movie.

Played by Natissia Malthe, Typhoid belongs to a group of scene-stealing villains the likes of Tattoo (Chris Ackerman) with the ability to animate any tattoo on his body; Stone (Bob Sapp) with impenetrable skin and a Bam-Bam sized mallet; and a redundant character who can do a mean ghetto walk while balancing a coin on his finger.

Pledging allegiance to a not-so-mysterious organization led by stereotypical Oriental businessmen known as "The Hand," these super villains obey the orders of mind reader Kirigi (Will Yun Lee) who wields a mean katanna and possesses the scary ability to animate murderous bed linen.

Opposing the bad guys is, of course, super-ninja assassin Elektra who looks elektra-cute with her arresting blood red outfit, her Sadako-like hair and her trademark BBQ skewers (otherwise known as sais). Garner's Elektra also exhibits obsessive-compulsive behaviour and possesses the ability to peer into the future while dispatching her foes with nary a smudge on her makeup.

Unfortunately, Jennifer Garner lacks the gravitas to play a tortured super heroine with a tragic past and often comes across as comic book flat (and that's putting it mildly). To make matters worse, she appears as if she has been pumping iron with Venus and Serena Williams (which explains her gaffe-inducing catwalk) and takes the prize for the most grievous application of black eye shadow ever to grace the big screen.

In the movie, Elektra is aided by the film's resident Yoda - the blind sensei Stick (Terence Stamp who played aging transsexual Bernardette in The Adventures of Priscilla: Queen of the Desert), and his group of goody-two-shoes white ninjas.

Caught in the middle of the fight between good and evil is a father and daughter team played by television drama god Goran Visnjic and newcomer Kirsten Prout. Originally assigned to assassinate them, Elektra soon finds herself making bedroom eyes - albeit unwillingly - at Mark aka the dad and developing maternal feelings for Abby aka the brat.

In a predictable plot stolen straight from The Golden Child, Elektra becomes the family's "unwilling" protector and finds herself at a crossroads: will she live up to her profession as a cold-blooded assassin for hire; or will she defend both father and daughter against the murderous hordes of "The Hand" and prove herself to be "pure of heart"? No points for guessing the outcome.

In spite of a number of interesting fight scenes, Elektra is ultimately marred by director Rob Bowman's (The X Files and Reign of Fire) penchant for using flashback and slow-mo techniques one too many times and for banking on time-dragging scenes featuring Jennifer Garner gazing pensively at picturesque landscapes.

All in all, for a movie named Elektra - the experience is surprisingly non-elektra-fying.