Fridae

He wrote up a review of the entertainer's much anticipated new album exclusively for ArjanWrites.com. A big thanks to Marc for sharing his candid thoughts about the album. "It's a bit like sticking your hand blindly into the candy jar and coming up with trick after trick when you keep hoping for a treat," he writes about part of the album. Read on for the entire review.


Invariably expectations for a new Madonna album are always high. More often than not they've been judiciously met and quite often surpassed (2003's "American Life" notwithstanding). 1989's still radiant "Like A Prayer" finally won over the rock media and nearly a decade later Ray of Light grabbed back a legion of lapsed Madonna admirers, caught up in the intervening downward spiral of Sex, musicals and bad movies.

Now a decade on from that Grammy-winning triumph and Madonna is due another pop-time-capsule-of-an-album. With 2005's glossy disco-esque "Confessions On A Dance Floor" she cannily plundered the best of the '70s to arrive at something whose unrelenting shimmery beats and dazzling euro-dance hooks rivalled her first two early 80s albums, "Madonna" and "Like A Virgin." It sold well all around the world, with the exception of her birth-home, the US of A.

That's why her new album, "Hard Candy," released later this month, is so very clearly targeted at righting that regretful wrong and putting Madonna back on top of the pop charts and radio formats from Hollywood to Houston and all stops in between.

In Madonna's now 25-year, Hall of Fame-awarded, recording career, the album that "Hard Candy" most resembles in context is 1994's "Bedtime Story." That was Madonna's sticky valentine to the hot black producers of the time after 1992's icy house-brewed "Erotica" left her high and, well, dry. This time round though, there's no trace of Babyface (producer of Bedtime's 1995's US #1 "Take A Bow"), or Dallas Austin (Bedtime's underrated lead single Secret), but in their place Pharrell Williams, Timbaland and posse.

Strangely, album opener "Candy Shop," (almost identical to the version
that leaked online a year ago), is one of the album's weaker tracks
and doesn't bode well for the rest of the 12-track set. Still, any song
with Madonna making smutty double entendres out of lyrics as knowingly
silly as "I got Turkish delights" can't be taken too seriously.

On track two the big guns (or should that be "gums"?) are wheeled out.
While "4 Minutes" is a virtual join-the-dots exercise in how to make an
American hit, circa 2008, it's undoubtedly a grower. With so many busy
elements (those blaring horns, the cutesy banter trading with guest
star Justin Timberlake - relegated to a "featuring" role in the credits
- and Timbaland hovering close by) "4 Minutes" succeeds on a number of
levels. It's not Madonna's greatest single ever, and one that will no
doubt age very dis-gracefully, but the best track to right US chart
wrongs. Want proof? This week "4 Minutes" soared to #3, handing Madonna
the honour of now being the artist with the most top ten hits in the US
- edging past Elvis Presley. Tick-tock, tick-tock indeed!

Thankfully, the record's tasty triple selection of tracks 3-5 are all
prime examples of what Madonna does best - memorable pop with great
choruses that'll ricochet globally for months to come. If you're
looking for singles #2, #3 and #4, here's your one-stop Candy shop.

"Give It To Me" is Confession's "Get Together" cleverly remodeled in the
winning electro-funk style of her classic 1983 breakthrough single
"Holiday." Pharrell Williams must have been itching for years to upgrade
that particular Madonna standard and may well have just managed too.
We're guessing a sure shot heir to "4 Minutes."

That's followed by "Heartbeat," the most "traditional" Madonna song here.
Not only is it yet another ode to getting down - "when I dance I feel
free" - in the finest Into The Groove tradition, but boasts a chorus as
sweet as, well, candy. Fans have been waiting decades for Madonna to
utter a line as club-friendly as ITG's "only when I'm dancing can I
feel this free" and Heartbeat's "see my booty get down" is a fitting,
albeit bootylicious, successor.

Finishing off the delicious trifecta is "Miles Away" - sweet urban pop
with an undercurrent of melancholy and unmistakable echoes of Nelly
Furtado's "Say It Right." It's a poignant tale of being far from the one
you love and hints at what might be going on in Madonna's private life.
For someone who's long crafted her musical art from personal
experiences, "Hard Candy" is almost devoid of that usual frankness and
"Miles Away" might be the only crack in the fa�ade we're allowed to view
this time around. Or perhaps she left that all for the punchy cover
shot?!

Next up is "She's Not Me" - a snippy, bitchy, catchy disco groover that
appears to be the Queen of Pop taking direct aim at her competition.
Yet with so much early promise it's tragically let down with an
unfortunately bombastic middle section. From then on it just gets messy
as spooky, swirling noises throb relentlessly throughout, giving the
impression Pharrell fell asleep on the mixing board while the track was
still running.

That's the biggest complaint for the rest of the album - so many of the
songs have great potential, yet end too raw and unfinished. From the
middle onwards "Hard Candy" is definitely more miss than hit. It's a bit
like sticking your hand blindly into the candy jar and coming up with
trick after trick when you keep hoping for a treat.

Of "Incredible" the less said the better. Suffice to say it in no way
lives up to its name. "Sex with you is incredible" is one of the few
remarkable lines uttered during this quite unremarkable track.

"Beat Goes On" is significantly different to the version that also leaked
last year. It's yet another tribute to dancing, with more of an early
80s vibe, and at first seems like the perfect blend of old skool
Madonna with new skool grooves. After a curt Kanye West rap in which he
mentions "doing F," whatever that may be, things once again dissolve
into a meandering mess. The chorus is brazenly forgotten about,
spoiling what could easily have been another Madonna classic. On and on
it does indeed go.

"Hard Candy" is redeemed at this point by "Dance 2night" - with the
Timbaland/Timberlake duo close by once more. Harking back to mid-80s
Janet Jackson with its jaunty freestyle R&B approach, it sports a
brain-hugging chorus that could easily have been stolen from some boy
band archive. Hmmm, now who could be responsible for that?

Track ten, "Spanish Lesson," is mercifully short. Guess what? There are
more references to the dance floor, a Spanish guitar tossed in,
alongside some plodding beats, and it's all over so quickly it barely
rates a mention. Ho hum.

The closest thing to a ballad on the album is "Devil Wouldn't Recognise
You" where Justin once again makes his presence felt double-tracking
Madonna. With echoes of JT's own "Cry Me A River," it proves to be yet
again a decent pop song left wanting under the weight of the
"everything including the kitchen sink" production approach.

Finally, "Hard Candy" comes to a haunting end with "Voices." Cue Justin
uttering the opening line: "who is the master, who is the slave?" Well,
that certainly gives us plenty to ponder! Over a moody, mid-tempo beat
"Voices" comes on like a veritable act of contrition for what has
essentially been a collection of confessions on a urban dance floor.

Overall "Hard Candy" is patchy, but blessed with a handful of great
singles (which is what you'd expect from any Madonna album) that stick
close to the winning formula of keeping the most recognisable voice in
pop uncluttered and out front. It's when she's tossed boxing gloves
first into the mix, along with all manner of production pots and pans
(a case of too many cooks perhaps?) that "Hard Candy" goes a tad sour.

Expectations-wise, file "Hard Candy" alongside 2000's inconsistent "Music"
album - which suffered coming post-Ray Of Light and delivering a truly
killer lead single that promised too much. Likewise, beyond the handful
of obvious singles, things start to get somewhat sticky on "Hard Candy."

As it is, it's a sweet enough treat with just enough for longtime
Madonna fans to cherish, or (ahem!) get their teeth into. And for those
who suspected Madonna was well past her use-by-date in her 50th year,
it's mostly a timely reminder she's still got a lot more than just "4
Minutes" to save the world's charts with.

Marc Andrews is a media and entertainment journalist who writes for MEDIAWEEK magazine (www.mediaweek.com.au) and DNA Magazine (dnamagazine.com).