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26 Aug 2008

Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Director: Brian O'Connell, Dave Filoni

Starring: Matt Lanter, Ian (Voice) Abercrombie, Greg Ellis

Release: 2008-08-26

If you've been reading the stuff that Star Wars fans have written on the Web about Star Wars creator George Lucas, you'd think the guy just shot all their mothers. Yes, they really really hate him.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars is the latest disaster to come out of the once-beloved franchise. George, who seems dissatisfied with the millions he's already made, authorized this boring and pointless animated version. Not only do the 3D cartoons look like they were drawn in 1970s (square jaws, broad shadows, lifeless eyes), the story feels like it was written by 12-year-old children.

The uninvolving plot follows Anakin Skywalker (voiced by Matt Lanter) as he transitions from Jedi apprentice to Jedi master who takes young Ahsoka Tano (Ashley Eckstein) under his wings. They are tasked to save the son of Jabba the Hut yes, Jabba the Hut which they affectionately nickname Stinky yes, Stinky.

The whole film is watchable for about 20 minutes, and then it dawns on you that Star Wars: The Clone Wars isn't really telling you anything new or worth knowing about the characters or this galaxy far, far away. The experience quickly degenerates into indifference, stupor, and finally, hatred for George Lucas.

By the time the credits roll, you can't wait to get home and rant about that money-grubbing man called George.

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