Fridae

So here it is folks, the Twilight Saga is finally over. For all the affection and ridicule it has spawned, no one can deny its signal of a fundamental shift in pop cultural depiction of vampires. Stephenie Meyer's genius, and some would say fundamental idiocy (but it may be an idiocy so profound to approach the level of genius) is to turn the vampire: that horror icon symbolic of all manner of sexual depravity, debauchery, decadence and destructive appetites, into a knight in shining skin, its existence a paean to sexual abstinence and monogamous marriage. To finally turn a horror icon a complete 180 degrees from its original purpose and intent probably marks as profound a change as that period in literature when vampires ceased to become less like what we think of today as zombies (living corpses that emerged from the ground to prey on humans) and as representatives of the mysterious yet depraved aristocrats that the European public regarded in both fear and awe.

Breaking Dawn: Part 2 begins with passive-aggressive heroine Bella Swan's transformation into a vampire, after which she acquires the usual powers of strength, speed, a sort of 'force field' shield that protects her loved ones from the powers of others, and now instead of staring blankly at everyone else, she also finally gets to brood soulfully like just about every other cast member in the entire saga. Not only is she now a vampire, she has also borne the child that she had while she was still human: Renesmee, one of the first new specimens of human-vampire hybrids that the world has seen in centuries, is regarded as a menace by the power-hungry Volturi leader Aro (Michael Sheen), who is also using it as an excuse to get his hands on the prophetic Esme Cullen (Ashley Greene). Aro has assembled his Volturi Army to attack the Cullens and their United Colours of Vampire Benetton coalition of witnesses to the non-threatening nature of Esme Cullen. These include vampires from covens as far flung as the Amazon Basin and the Middle East, and all given special powers including elemental control, electricity generation and the ability to make people hallucinate that they are in the Amazon Basin even in winter in Eastern Washington State.

Their most amazing power though has to be the ability to fly from their respective countries to the United States without once breaking out of their ethnic costumes. (Yes, this leads to sights like an Amazon tribesman in native costume appearing in wintry Eastern Washington for no good reason.) With a bloodthirsty conflict (even though being PG13 that means vampires can be killed rather bloodlessly) boiling on the horizon, will the Cullens and their loved ones survive to see the break of dawn?

Probably the biggest misfire for the final part of the Twilight Saga, the producers hired their most prestigious director, Academy Award winner Bill Condon (as a writer for Gods and Monsters), heretofore known for middle-to-highbrow fare like the Roman-a-Clef Supremes biopic Dreamgirls  and the Liam Neeson's Alfred Kinsey biopic of the same title. Condon approaches this material with the utmost possible level of tastefulness, backed by a soundtrack loaded with indie rock and pop artistes and lush cinematography from DP Guillermo Navarro, even a final battle between Edward's covens and a few lupine shapeshifters versus the Volturi Army is so tasteful and respectfully rendered to be not much fun, not even when it throws in a convenient tribute to Alexander Nevsky. So yes, while Condon's tastefulness mutes the often prosaic dialogue, bland characters and dull premise from hitting the audience with their full impact, it doesn't make the franchise's final instalment trashy fun enough either.

Love or hate it, the Twilight Saga is now finally over with neither bang nor whimper.