ZONE:

Let me first apologise if this story is racist but it’s never intended to hurt anyone.

My bf, H, was never my type in the first place. We met while in NS. I’m Chinese, an A-level graduate from one of the prestigious schools and already got a scholarship for uni, faithfully serving my NS stint as an officer. He was totally opposite. He’s Malay, only finished N-levels, and had AWOL many times such that he had served nearly 5 years of NS.

This was how we met and started:
I was newly posted to the unit and I inevitably became his PC. I was briefed that this guy is problematic, had a serious attitude problem and was extremely violent. I was extremely worried at first but somehow we managed to get along well. I occasionally talked to him and find out how he was, and also counseled him, hoping he would take his O-levels and further his studies.

But I was deeply disappointed when he went AWOL again and when he was caught, I was appointed as his defending officer. His mum called me and said he requested for me to defend him. I didn’t want to at first, but his mum pleaded and I had no choice but to agree.

I interviewed him and subsequently interviewed his family so that I can finalize my mitigating statements, only to find out that he’s gay, and was always in and out settling unfinished business with his then bf. Well of course I didn’t put it into the mitigation because he did not declare in the first place, and so I just merely wrote on his family and financial background. Soon, he was sentenced, and I knew I won’t be able to meet him again.

1 year on~
Time passed and soon he was released due to remission. I was supposed to ORD but had extended voluntarily. I asked him if he could be more serious about furthering his studies and assured him that I would tutor and help him if he wants to. Somehow after so long he agreed, and we started meeting up regularly. I could really see the good in him, that once he sets his eyes to achieve something, he will go all the way to get it. He got his O levels with a pretty good score that year end.

I encouraged him further to take his A levels and offered him all my notes and going the extra by calling my teachers for notes. My relationship with his family was also getting closer as I often stayed till late or even stayed over during the weekends. Although we come from a unit that allows booking out everyday, I enforced that he should stay in camp to study and so I would also stay together with him.

One day I decided to tell my parents about my sexual preference and yeah you can expect what happened. I was driven out of the house and nobody else but only H knew. H and his family welcomed me to their home and since then my belongings had never moved. Somehow from then on, he didn’t address me as ‘Sir’, but called me by name whenever we were alone together.

I remember it was a Friday, when we decided to watch a movie together before going home. During the movie, H suddenly kissed my lips and confessed his feelings for me. He isn’t someone who divulges such deep feelings easily and definitely isn’t any better at expressing it, but yeah I got what he meant. From that moment till we got home and were in his room, we kept silent. We were about to sleep (on different beds then) when he started talking.

"Cal, I know I’m not your type, I’m not from any top school or any better than you. I know there’ll be someone better for you, but I just like you. It’s ok if you don’t want to accept. We can just be friends k?" - that’s all I remember.

I had spent all the time from the movie till the time we’re in bed to think about US. And out of nowhere I just replied, “Ok. I’m on. We’ll give it a try. But we cannot let anyone know.”

We agreed and that’s how our relationship started. I was only 20 then, and he was already 26. The whole family started realizing we were in a different relationship when we started acting even closer, and I seriously think our constant eye contact gave it away. Mama and Papa didn’t say much, but they seemed to have adored their only son’s bf.

My greatest achievement throughout my NS stint was to convert a rebellious and hopeless case in the eyes of all the commanders to the Best Soldier of the quarter before I ORD.

Hubby, not only are you the love of my life, you’re the best to me, no matter how you are. It’s been 3 years since and I’m so proud of you when you got into NTU last year.

Today, 3 Sep will officially mark 3 years. So glad you’re sleeping beside me now (we’re in MBS) and I just want to tell you:

I love you H, though you’re still not my type of guy. Please stop teasing me by calling me ‘Sir’ everytime you fuck me. I super hate it.

To my loving hubby, from your Cal.