Fridae

Carrie Bradshaw, I am not. Other than the perpetual flings and chimney-like chain smoking, I don't think the famed Sex and the City character and I are remotely alike. For one, I don't own 100 or so pairs of shoes lining up my closet and I certainly would never be able to afford the hundred-dollars designer duds she has (Doesn't that ever make you wonder how a city paper columnist can have the dough to lounge at swanky bars, while looking expensively fabulous all the time?). But that's another topic altogether and this column is not really about Ms. Bradshaw.

With that said however, I couldn't help myself from fantasising to be just like her. With our differences, I'm positive that we do share one thing in common: We consciously reflect on the things and events that happen in our daily life, and love to put these stories into words and re-tell them. In other words, we are just two extremely fickle and achingly sensitive souls, who over-analyse every little detail and dramatise their significances! All kidding aside, when the fantasy became a reality and it finally hit me that I will actually be writing a regular column of my own, I began to feel the weighty responsibility pressing down on me.

I wonder what kind of profound insights I have to offer. What do I have to say exactly that is so important that you do not know already? I'm sure you have your reservations and you are probably right. I can honestly profess that I do not know-it-all. But whatever it is that I may lack of, I compensate with a vibrant and rich storage-full of personal lessons I have learned from my experience, and I intent on sharing them with you.

"Personal is political" is one of my favorite quotes, and this reflects my attitude on this column. Who you are and what you do as an individual will always have an impact on the general society. Very personal acts, such as decisions to come out as an openly gay man or lesbian woman, is a micro-level political act in itself, regardless whether they are conscious or not; whether you like it or not.

So this is where I come in. I'm grateful to have this space to throw in my two cents and through that process, you as readers will hopefully take away something out of them. You may find my viewpoints radically opposing to yours, and you may not agree with me. It is ok. Preaching and propagating my own societal and political philosophies are not my agenda at all. My only goal is to provoke your thoughts, and hopefully through that, I would encourage a more analytical evaluation of yourself.

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And yes, I'm a gay man. But that doesn't necessarily mean that my lessons and stories are only applicable to my fellow gay brothers (or perhaps, "sisters" is a more suitable term). In fact, my experience may not even come close to some gay readers. I believe everybody has a story and a point of view to tell, and this is mine. I do not profess to capture everybody's stories. The important thing is that there are lessons in all of them, no matter whose. It's my belief that if people reach deep down into the core, people will learn that every person's unique experience is universal. What you go through as a person indefinitely shapes and influence the world around you, and, knowingly or not, there would be many others who share that experience. Ultimately, they would be able to not only relate to these experiences, but also to be inspired and educated. Whether you are straight or gay, lesbian or gay, male or female, I hope my stories will touch you in one way or another.

I have been writing for a good number of years now myself. From college newspapers to academic journal to creative literature, I have dabbled in both journalistic and creative styles. I was an editor and opinion columnist for my college award-winning paper, an assistant research editor for an ethnic politics-themed book project, and now, an aspiring (alternative adjective: struggling) poet and screenwriter.

After a year-long hiatus as a regular opinion columnist, I realise that I greatly miss this opportunity to relate directly to my audience on important issues that matters and touches them the most. It also became apparent to me on a recent summer trip to Asia that although the gay social scene (clubbing and the arts) is alive and thriving, unfortunately the same vibrancy is nowhere to be found in the queer political and societal activism. The deafening vacuum in this arena compels me to fill the in-between gaps.

My viewpoints stem from my political science education and years of living as a semi-out gay man both in Asia and in the States. I have been politically and socially active because I feel there is still much to be done. There is no way I can turn a blind eye. I would never want anybody to go through what I went through: harrowing coming-out experience and anti-gay abuses, and what I see around me: homeless gay and lesbian youths and AIDS-stricken community. I have learned that being silent equals to perpetuating homophobia.

It goes without saying that my personal life is also my political life. Every act of personal expression is significantly a public one. And if there is something that I want you to take away from all this, is that: so are yours, whether it is a conscious choice or not. We don't have the power to prevent what people perceive us to be.

Like Carrie who can be seen prancing around in her fancy flashy designer apparels on-screen to make a worldwide statement (a fashion one that is), we all have the potential and also, the responsibility to make ourselves visible and heard. Even in very personal levels. Political acts need not be large-scale and grandiose. A simple handholding in public by two lesbian women speaks more than any words. That itself, is a statement; a testament of us.

I guess Carrie and I have more in common than I thought; maybe this column is about her after all.

Jason Woo is a writer based in Los Angeles. Having completed short film scripts, he is now completing his first solo full-length feature. You can contact him at servesitstraight@hotmail.com.