Fridae

Plug the keyword "Buffy" into LimeWire file share software, and as well as episodes of the fabulous teen vampire slayer show, the search delivers a phalanx of gay porn.

Possibly employing a sneaky search trick to ride in on the back of Sarah Michelle Geller, "Armed commando force fucks new recruit with his handgun (buffy)" promises some serious shooting. There's also "Naval commander gives oral to private dick (buffy)" and the bizarre "Army troop is forced to strip naked and run drills (buffy)."

Now, I've never been a big one for porn.

For sure, the sight of a naked woman - if she's hot - can get me sliding off my chair. And there's nothing I like better than a slice of well-directed erotica in a lesbian movie or show - think Katherine Moennig strapping it on at the poolside in The L Word (series 3, episode 5).

(Writer takes a break to give that scene some serious thought).

In contrast, the dynamics of straight porn - with its masculine dominance and faceless cocks - make me uncomfortable.

But what of gay porn? Would the naval commandeering of a buffy private put the tit back into titillation for me?

According to a 2003 study by Professor Michael Bailey at Northwestern University in the US, it should do.

He ran a series of experiments on women to find a correlation between professed sexuality and vaginal response to porn. He found that all women, regardless of their sexuality, reacted the same. Every shade of blue movie - straight, lesbian and gay - got them wet.

So why do dykes dig gays getting it on?

I put away my L Word DVDs and got Peter the porn king, an Aussie queer friend of mine, to send me the cream of his collection.

"Do you want twinks or jocks? Bareback or condom? Cock and bum fun or S&M?" he asks.

There's more to fag porn than meets the eye, I thought.

So I invited The Stud - who says she gives the x-rated queer genre her definite thumbs up - over for a little movie night.

"Gay porn appeals to lesbians because it's a chance to eroticise men's bodies without having to question one's lesbianism," she says.

"Because there are no females, your own anatomy isn't implicated in your arousal.

"And part of the reason that we can admire gay men is that they're beautiful� usually. I bet most women aren't watching bear sex!"

It's true. In "Thai twink spring break" the boys are handsome, smooth, and gently muscled.

I'm all for the foreplay in fag flicks. The image of two men kissing is erotic. It sparks a sharp pang in my chest that I get whenever I see same sexes making out.

It's hot because the men are aesthetically beautiful; they don't represent the typical brute porn dog; and the dynamic is balanced. It's about mutual pleasure. And not about I'm taking you until I come.

But I had to differ with Bailey once the camera dived southwards and got stuck in the cracks. Faced with the wrinkled absurdity of male genitalia I lost my metaphorical hard on. Instead I became interested in the physiological aspects of the scene.

"Why is he floppy when he's being taken from behind?" I asked The Stud, who was too busy to answer.

My knee-jerk rejection to the meat and two veg reminded me of a conversation I had with a Hong Kong fag, whom I shall affectionately call Handbag.

"I remember when I was a teenager," Handbag tells me in Eddies, a hip Shanghai gay bar. "My brother was watching porn and I took a closer look and I saw the lady and she was naked and then she touched herself down there," he gestures.

"It was so dark and wet and soft and uggggggh�" he squeals with horror.

"That's when I knew I was gay for sure."

In the same way, watching two men engaged in a little "tea-bagging" is definitely not my cup of tea.

But for other dykes, it is their mug of English breakfast.

---

Naomi, an American dyke in a committed relationship with a local Chinese girl, says it's seeing a person aroused that does it for her regardless of their gender.

"I usually only watch gay porn if I'm with other gay men. It sort of turns me on, but that's just because it's sex and sex in general turns me on� but of all porn lesbian is my favourite."

So it's the homo in homo sapien that women respond to?

When I asked my ex about gay sex, she went deeper.

"It totally turns me on," she says.

"I am actually more turned on by gay male porn than lesbian porn.

"I think, for women, the pleasure of watching gay porn comes from the power dynamic: dominant, hard, aggressive. These are the things we associate with masculinity. Watching them come together and get re-negotiated is very sexy. And it's all that 'equipment' we'll never have.

"That and I feel pretty faggy."

She points to a parallel with slash fiction - a type of fan writing which features imagined same sex pairings between famous movie and TV characters. The curious thing about this discipline is that it is mainly straight women who author slash about men.

"It gives women a space to re-author mainstream works and to challenge masculinity," my ex continues.

"And they also get to talk about things like Spock sucking Captain Kirk's cock."

So gay porn appeals because it is "unthreatening" to women - straight and bent. But "unthreatening" by itself is not enough to flick my switch. Bambi is "unthreatening" but I have not been known to get my rocks off to a cartoon deer. Yet.

The local lesbians I probed about gay porn said fag films left them cold.

"Watching men have sex - whether straight or gay - makes me nervous," says Curly, a cute Beijing dyke in a long-term relationship.

"I watch lesbian sex with my girlfriend, and alone, and it excites me. But I don't want to watch gay porn."

Perhaps many of us are too ashamed or afraid to admit that we may be turned on by gay porn, believing that as dykes we owe it to ourselves to spurn cock/sperm.

Whatever the pairings, porn is a crutch for the imagination; a kick-start to stimulation; and a prop for our erections.

This experiment with The Stud made me realise I'd much rather be having sex than watching any kind of porn.

And that includes x-rated fawn films.