Malaysia’s The Star newspaper proclaimed in a headline on Jan 25: “LKY [Lee Kuan Yew] will accept it if grandchildren are gay”.
What Singapore’s former Prime Minister and Minister Mentor actually said about the issue in his new book was: “That's life. They're born with that genetic code, that's that. [Former US Vice President] Dick Cheney didn't like gays but his daughter was born like that. He says, "I still love her, full stop." It's happened to his family. So on principle he's against it, but it's his daughter. Do you throw the daughter out? That's life. I mean none of my children is gay, but if they were, well that's that.” He was responding to a question about how he would feel if one of his grandchildren were to come out to him.
While some might argue that his comments – if read carefully – sound less accepting than what the headline mentioned above would suggest, others unreservedly welcome his comments.
Rev. Oyoung Wenfeng, a Malaysia-born, New York-based ordained Christian minister, author and an openly gay man, told Fridae in an email: “I am so glad Lee Kuan Yew has said those things. It is interesting and uplifting to observe that an old man can also be open-minded and willing to learn.”
He likened Lee’s remarks on homosexuality to a coming out statement. “Of course he didn't come out as a gay man, but he came out as a gay friendly and reasonable person, and it has made some significant changes in people's view on homosexuality.”
One such person is Rev. Oyoung’s mother in Malaysia who phoned her son, who was already living in the United States at the time, when she found out that Lee was not anti-gay.
In 2007, Lee was quoted as saying in the International Herald Tribune that it’s a “matter of time” before gays are recognised in Singapore, and that Singapore is behind China, Hong Kong and Taiwan in this aspect.
“My mom was really excited a couple years ago. To her, is an eye-opening experience, and it makes her feel better about herself, because she finally realises that she is not alone in thinking that being gay is ok and homosexuality is not wrong. It is important to have some smart people to come out to say something like that, to educate the public.” Said Rev. Oyoung who is a columnist for Fridae’s Chinese section, and doctoral candidate in both sociology and theology.
Dr Khoo Hoon Eng, a mother of two gay sons and co-founder of SAFE Singapore which was set up to provide support to friends, parents, and family members of LGBTQ persons, also hopes that MM Lee’s comments will inspire others who have gay family members and friends to be just as openly accepting.
“As a mother of two gay sons, I am glad that MM Lee will continue to love his children/grandchildren even if they are gay. I think he has the right attitude. Being gay is not a choice or a 'lifestyle'. Why should gays be lesser members of our family because of who they love?”
Highlighting his statement “if two men or two women are that way, just leave them alone”, Dr Khoo also called on the government to repeal Section 377A of the Penal Code that criminalises sexual relations between men.
“Why should my sons and other gay men in Singapore be criminalised for private acts between consenting adults that do not harm anyone else? Section 377A proclaims our gay sons, grandsons, brothers, nephews, uncles, relatives and friends to be criminals for a propensity that is not of their volition, is innocuous and part of their private lives.
“Section 377A also legitimises homophobia and therefore the government is also contributing to a situation where gay Singaporeans from a young age, suffer deep internalised oppression, where they think of themselves as sick, immoral, criminal, because of what they have been taught from society and discriminatory laws that criminalise their desires. Such oppression often results in the disintegration of family, compromised relationships, low self-esteem, stunted maturity and unavoidable deceitfulness of having to remain closeted.” She told Fridae.
In his new book Lee Kuan Yew: Hard Truths To Keep Singapore Going, Lee also touched on several other gay issues including homosexuality not being a “lifestyle”, whether Singaporeans are ready to accept a gay Member of Parliament and gay parenthood.
On same-sex couples adopting children, Lee said that a lesbian couple might be more suited than two men. “Who is going to bring them up? Two men looking after a child? Two women looking after a child, maybe. But I'm not so sure because it's not their own child. Unless you have artificial insemination and it's their own child, then you have a certain maternal instinct immediately aroused by the process of pregnancy. But two men adopting a boy or a girl, what's the point of it?” He said.
A growing body of research shows that same-sex couples are as effective parents as opposite-sex ones and children growing up in same-sex parental households do not necessarily have differences in self-esteem, gender identity, or emotional problems from children growing up in heterosexual parent homes.
Dr Khoo also pointed out that in his hesitation to support gay couples having children, MM Lee had “asked a rhetorical question about who would look after the kids.”
“These days, even with heterosexual parents, the sexist stereotypes and assumptions of only the mother doing the work of looking after the kids are no longer true. The reality is that both parents who work outside the home should share the responsibilities and joys of raising children, rather than leaving it to only one parent.”
A Straits Times report about Lee’s views on homosexuality on Sunday also quoted a local lesbian couple Irene Oh, 27, and Olivia Tan, 30, who disagreed with Lee's views that adopting a child lessened the maternal bond. The couple is planning to raise children and open to adopting children.
Oh, a software developer and administrator of lesbian website Sayoni.com, said: “If MM Lee is right, then even heterosexual couples should not be allowed to adopt, because they, too, have no biological connection with the child. I think adoption is a great act of love, and there is no reason to expect adoptive parents to be any less caring.”
Published by the Singapore Press Holdings (the parent company of The Straits Times), the book, which is in a question-and-answer format, records the 87-year-old minister’s revelations of his personal life and views on domestic and international challenges.
To read MM Lee's comments on homosexuality from his book, click here.
We invite readers especially from Singapore and Malaysia to share their thoughts on MM Lee's latest comments and if their parents or other family members have reacted to his comments or recent media reports.
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on 'gay life styles' well there are MANY to choose from EG. the creative artistic, the studious family settled or the slutty bar scene there isn't ONE gay lifestyle there are many, it's just a purely homophobic piece of propaganda that advocates the slutty bar scenes as the only 'gay life style' on the subject of children as we ARE all part of the human family and if you are a spiritual person you know we are interconnected on many levels it is stupid to say that you can only bond with a child through paternity there are many children from heterosexual two parent dysfunctional families who flee the family home at young ages no great bonding going on there, Angelina and Brad they adopt and produce and if you said to them there is a greater bonding with the non adopted they would probably dismiss this eroneous misconception as would Sandra Bollock, I was mostly brought up in a foster family from about 4yrs I feel bonded both to my natural and Foster Mother who I have healthy relationships with both, it's all propaganda promoted by the religious right to discredit single parent, same sex or Polygamous families as they are out side their limited comprehension
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One might think by these comments that he thinks adoption in general is not a good idea because of the lack of "maternal instinct" because the child is not acquired through "the process of pregnancy" and that maybe mothers love their children more than fathers since fathers don't endure the physical process of pregnancy.
I know 2 gay couples and 1 single young lady that have acquired their children through adoption of children from foreign countries. You can be sure that these parents love and care for their children as much as any straight couple. Maybe more: they went through a myriad of paper work (and money) to get their children. And you can be sure that these children have wonderful lives, a great future and lack for little, especially love,which they receive in abundance. What's the point? They love kids.
How about if (?) his son and daughter-in-law were :)
Well i am just looking forward for more outcome from the gov abt gay issue
I think his son has.... 'tendencies'. ;)
Another point of interest is to hear from the gay descendants after their elders have openly made statements/remarks of their acceptance. Words from the horses' mouth are more convincing than sometimes their elders' statments. Perhaps, it is also time for the gay descendants to sing praises of their elders for their unconditioned love.
Non descendants who are members of the families are welcomed to express their views to lend their support or not for the elders' decision in accepting gay mebers of the family. This would bridge any gaps existing in the family and correct any misunderstandings about gay issues in the family.
Some time back, MM Lee had said very openly that there are more and more evidence that shows that homosexuality is genetic.
It's even more encouraging now that he's 'come out' to talk about this in an open and positive manner. LKY's a logical man, I guess if he were still PM, repealing 377a wouldn't be as hard as it is now.
He is impressed with capable gay men and women who actually contribute to society and excel in their professional life
What is controversial is the negative aspects of gay activists using and taking advantage of gay men to lure them into gay saunas and promote the seedy side and promote a promicious lifestyle and sex with strangers in the new of AIDS activism
its crazy but 377A would have been abolished a long time ago if it was done in the name of love instead of gay activists defending cheap sex in toilets
gay men are rising above the gutter of it all and throwing off the skackles of our stupid gay leaders and rising above it all because we are capable and people recognize it, the trends are all moving in our favor and we don't need to be treated like we are weak or handicapped or taking advantage of any more by those claiming to try and help us
Self Reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson needs to be read again cause we are great and can do all things on our own
Mr. LKY is one of those who's responsible for the fact that SG gay rights are far from being equal.
I avoid visiting SG, and countries which discriminate against gays.
All the best to the SG GLBT friends.
If we take the word "gay" and substitute "black" would any of these laws and statements make any sense at all? Of course not.
LKY and Cheney and their ilk, like saying " oh well if my daughter wanted to marry a man of a different race, I would accept it on a personal basis but across society norms and laws, I would still oppose marriage between the races." see what I mean?
Cheney and LKY both have opposed gay rights and just saying that you would "tolerate" one gay person in your family, sort of on an exceptional basis, is just another form of discrimination and pretty horrible and gratuitious.
what about his grand son? gay or not gay
Marriage is between a man and a woman, anything less than that is not accepted by God on judgement day.
Well it is only those people who practice against Gods ways make their own ways to make others who are like them feel good and right in their minds....
Well in short, Gods ways are the best , as the truth shall prevail forever.
Other ways are only temperorary .
Our focus should be on 1) raising public awareness, 2) enhancing support for the MSM community, 3) normalising sexual diversity in the society, 4) building trust and 5) coming out. By working on these 5 fronts, we can accelerate the process of public tolerance.
To finish, I really lived Dr. Khoo's comments and would suggest everyone to echo her!
It will be an uphill battle against the religious fundamentalists to repeal 377A as well as enabling homosexuality be normalized in our society. Any attempt (remember AWARE sexuality education package) to portray homosexuals as normal people is sure to invite cries and boos from the Christians.
It is also highly unlikely that Singapore will ever allow gay marriages for we are surrounded by Muslim nations. There will surely be huge uproar by them. But I think it is not important for the community now as what is more important is to educate the masses and slowly present to the population that homosexuals are also sons and daughters and people.
Nevertheless, gay partnership still not legalised.
why LEE suddenly gives an example IF grandchild was gay? may be LEE suspects someone really does...HEHE
What is Lee Kuan Yew going to do to compensate all the gay men that his police agents brutalized and terrorized in the past?
And does this latest tactical ploy of his also forgive his incurable racism?
As for his statement,it makes me eat my words.
dear percole,be gracious.
if people offer some leeway(no pun intended),don't go pushing your luck. Things will only turn nasty,if you don't realise.
but Percole aLEX , GOSH he's still an embarrassment to Singapore and JUST old, gay and bitter
Alex one day you are gonna realize that being gay is the best thing about you, but your bitter personality is why no one listens to you and people really don't like you in the gay community or listen to you anymore, gosh gay tourism at ZOUK OUT was up this year despite your previous rant
I mean Gay Dads and Asia Tiger Moms really are running the world and are kids are exceling despite strange off base gay sauna activists like percole and Alex Au who is really just a creep bitter lonely man
I personally think its a new low outing someone's grandson and can't even begin to understand the hate and pathos underlying Alex and his motives and what is means to say anymore
Lonely, pathetic and kind of strange comments are all we are hearing
Its a free world of ideas out there, but Alex you personally are being perceived at the bottom of the pond scum now and your recent comment is an all time low and to be honest,
hard working happy gay men and women always have to overcome the crappy stereotype and crappy ineffective politics you embody
after your rants about the police arresting a gay man having sex in a park a 16 year old gay kid wrote me from Raffles Junior College and told me that he was beat up after school one day cause I bully told him all gays have sex in parks! you bully gay activists rants have consequences and this new generation of proud gay men are not gonna stand by your side anymore
I mean I really think you need some professional help and am willing to offer you some money or a conseling sessions with PFLAG or something, I don't understand your chip on the shoulder bitterness and hate? I mean if you are burned out or need to go to Rehab or having an emotional breakdown or something, I hope your friends will help you
I think you are MEAN like the Taylor Swift song type of MEAN
Gosh, Percole Alex, I will take you to New York and meet the HRC people and the GLAAD people and you can meet some really nice gay men and women
Outing Mr. Lee's grandson isn't nice or classy and it just shows on your poor reflection of character
I mean your whole agenda is about gay saunas not really about normal gay men and women so of course Lee is a litte bit apprehensive when all he might know about gay men is your big loud mouth
a huge backlash is going on in Singapore against Alex Au and to be frank I think you don't represent the mainstream anymore
sorry to tell you that but all the hard work you did in past years is totally forgotten by this generation
I hope your true friends will be there to help you out
Gay Dads and lesbian moms will send a SWAT team in to help you if needed, but something very disturbing is going on and the gay community needs leadership now, not tit for tat bitchy commentary
I'm not saying that he is not forward thinking, but really, how is this a good example for lgbt's parents and non-lgbt parents?
Then the subject about adoption by 2 men or 2 women? How crude is that to be judging gender here when all of us are fighting and living for equality. It's quite contradictory don't you think?
And Cheney? Seriously? Is that the best example to be quoting?
I am not Alex Au just because I happen to agree with him on many issues. (I am Indian as well which Alex is not.) And neither is 38 "old" [removed by webmaster.]
And don't think you belong to some elite upper class just because you are adept at name dropping. I was from RI AND RJC, incidentally.
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