Fridae

I know it’s a really unfair stereotype but the Germans are a humourless people. You don’t count on them to make good comedies or shows for kids because they’re so dreadfully earnest. And humourless. So in one of its rare moments, the German film industry has come up with Animals United, a sort of poor man’s Madagascar with a strong ecological message about global warming, human responsibilities, and environmental activism.

An international bunch of animals end up on the African savannah to join up with the native wildlife in their campaign to solve the endemic drought that a dam project has caused. It’s the talking, singing, dancing animals versus the destructive, selfish, stupid naked apes, whose most evil members are of course the Greens and their wishy-washy, capitulating, Benedict Arnold brand of middle of the road sustainable environmentalism.

The pluses? As far as a 3D film goes, Animals United is a visual treat. We have a photorealistic shot-on-location African savannah as the backdrop – what more can you ask for? Further, it’s probably the first 3D film I’ve seen that corresponds to how we see 3D in real life – objects in the distance are actually blurred and objects not in focus... are actually out of focus. I’m actually shocked it took so long for animators to figure this one out.

Animals United sits far to the educational end of the edu-tainment spectrum because there are very few moments where it lets down its preachiness. If I were a cynic, I’d say this film was backed by a motley crew of strange bedfellows like Greenpeace, nefarious agenda-pushers PFLAG, and radical hippies who want to recreate the summer of ‘69. After all, the film pushes ecotage, spots a vegan lion and gender-neutral human heroes, quotes from Koyaanisqatsi, constantly bashes capitalism, and has the animals taking over New York in the end, taking over symbolic institutions of global capital like the NYSE, the United Nations, the Chrysler Building, the Statue of Liberty. If 9/11 had not happened, I have no doubt they would have taken over the Twin Towers as well.

Animals United is a little heavy-handed and overserious for young children but is ideal viewing material for older viewers looking for a worthy cause to champion.