"I was terrified of looking like an idiot... I mean you can really look like an idiot in a skin-tight suit if it's not right." - Ben Affleck in an interview on Daredevil.
Appearing in a leatherette suit that looks like it was made out of leftover materials from my grandmother's 1960s sofa combined with a red Gollum-like mask with two tiny horns perfect for hanging one's car keys on, Daredevil's outfit is a far cry from the classic sexiness of Superman's well-filled red trunks over blue leggings or Batman's blush-inducing armoured nipples and swollen codpiece. To make matters worse, there's Ben Affleck and his Keanu Reeves' style of acting. Case-in-point: Mr Affleck's idea of portraying a blind man is to get cross-eyed and stare far off into space.
I was thus understandably excited when I heard that a film adaptation of Marvel Comic's Daredevil was in the works. Images of another hunky Hollywood actor battling nefarious foes while doing cartwheels in bulge-revealing red spandex became my newfound obsession.
That is until I heard that Ben Affleck has been cast in the lead role of Matt Murdock aka Daredevil. The thought of seeing the usually pudgy Mr Bennifer clad in a body suit had as much sex appeal for yours truly as two squirming hogs bounded together and then poured into a red catsuit.
Despite my misgivings about Ben Affleck, I decided to give the movie a chance when it premiered in Singapore. I should have paid greater heed to my budding powers of clairvoyance.
Simply put, Daredevil is derivative movie making at its worst with its hodgepodge elements that borrow shamelessly from its superhero predecessors. There's the used-to-death origin of avenging a parent's murder last seen in Batman, the swinging-across-rooftops mode of transport favoured by Spiderman and the leaving behind of a fiery logo as a calling card used in The Crow.
But steel yourselves - that's only the tip of the iceberg.
Daredevil revolves around the story of Matt Murdock (Ben Affleck), a resident of Hell's Kitchen, who was accidentally blinded by radioactive chemicals after playing witness to his father's involvement with the local mafia. When his father, dockworker Jack "The Devil" Murdock (David Keith), a washed up boxer trying to make a comeback, is killed by the mob after he refuses to take a dive, Matt Murdock decides to become "the man without fear" and wage his personal war against urban crime.
Lawyer by day and avenging vigilante by night, Matt Murdock becomes Daredevil and roams the streets at night to administer his brand of "blind justice" (pardon the pun). Fortunately, the accident bequeathed upon Matt Murdock superhuman sonar senses that provides him with an edge over common criminals. Unfortunately, it did nothing for his appalling fashion sense.
Appearing in a leatherette suit that looks like it was made out of leftover materials from my grandmother's 1960s sofa combined with a red Gollum-like mask with two tiny horns perfect for hanging one's car keys on, Daredevil's outfit is a far cry from the classic sexiness of Superman's well-filled red trunks over blue leggings or Batman's blush-inducing armoured nipples and swollen codpiece. To make matters worse, there's Ben Affleck and his Keanu Reeves' style of acting. Case-in-point: Mr Affleck's idea of portraying a blind man is to get cross-eyed and stare far off into space.
Appearing in a leatherette suit that looks like it was made out of leftover materials from my grandmother's 1960s sofa combined with a red Gollum-like mask with two tiny horns perfect for hanging one's car keys on, Daredevil's outfit is a far cry from the classic sexiness of Superman's well-filled red trunks over blue leggings or Batman's blush-inducing armoured nipples and swollen codpiece. To make matters worse, there's Ben Affleck and his Keanu Reeves' style of acting. Case-in-point: Mr Affleck's idea of portraying a blind man is to get cross-eyed and stare far off into space.
The perfect spokesperson for leather fetishists everywhere, Ms Garner looks extremely fetching in a midriff baring leather outfit complete with matching gloves, armbands and choker. Still, we're talking about Jennifer Garner here - she could be wearing soiled pampers and her fans would still think she looks molten hot.
Likewise, Colin Farrell (Minority Report and The Recruit) chews up the screen as the multi-pierced (ouch!) psychotic assassin Bullseye who sports a shooting target insignia burned into his bald forehead. Clad in a leather trenchcoat reincarnated from Chow Yuen Fatt's swishing and swooshing gangster coat, Farrell's Bullseye is magnetic and impresses with his ability to turn office implements such as paper clips and pencils (and even a peanut) into deadly weapons.
Unfortunately, despite the luminous presence of Garner and Farrell, the movie sags as badly as Ben Affleck's leather encased buttcheeks. Dragged down by glaring man-sized plot holes, Daredevil makes viewing even more tedious with improbable events. For instance: how can an expert marksman like Bullseye repeatedly miss a HUGE target like Ben Affleck's jutting chin and fat behind when the latter is doing back-flips; how is it possible that a poor lawyer like Matt Murdock can afford a high-tech sensory deprivation tank that MJ would kill for; and where in the world did Elektra find a room that drops sandbags randomly for her sai-practice? I rest my case.
The only consolation is that the film does offer well-placed cameos and in-jokes that would please most comic fanboys as well as interesting visuals including glimpses of the hero's sonar sense at work in the rain splashed scenes involving Elektra and some breathtaking views of Ben Affleck brooding and vogueing amidst rooftop gargoyles. But these saving graces are few and far between.
Sigh... where's Spidey when you really need him?
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