Hey Alvin,
Something has been weighing on my mind for the past week. A friend whom I'd had a brief sexual/romantic history with (we're talking about a decade ago) told me that he told his boyfriend that he thinks I'm the best candidate for a threesome with them.
''Group sex can trigger a lot of emotions that may be difficult to deal with. Watching your friend having (and worse, enjoying) sex with his boyfriend may turn you into a crazed bunny boiler - especially if you end up feeling left out.''
What should my considerations be? And is this something I should ask my friend about or does he need to be the one to ask after he has figured it out with his boyfriend since he already knows I'm cool with the idea?
I would also especially be interested to hear from readers their experiences.
Thanks!
Three Is Not A Crowd
Dear Three Is Not A Crowd,
As far as I'm concerned, you're single (I presume) and you're on the receiving end of the indecent proposal - so your only considerations should be of the carnal kind - such as how can you best position yourself to get the most of the three-way action.
For sensible sex-tiquette regarding triple-team action, I would refer my readers to my "Threesome with a Twosome" article. As a general rule, you should establish common rules and resolve any reservations before the group groping gets underway.
However, my years of reading Nancy Drew have led me to suspect that the more pressing issue concerns your lingering attraction for your good friend. If that's really the case, you may wish to reconsider throwing yourself into a threesome.
Group sex can trigger a lot of emotions that may be difficult to deal with. Watching your friend having (and worse, enjoying) sex with his boyfriend may turn you into a crazed bunny boiler - especially if you end up feeling left out.
As for your one-on-one dilemma, your decision should be informed by whether you are prepared to live with the consequences. Namely, your friendship could go the way of Paris and Nicole (if he turns you down) or you could end up being a homo-wrecker (if he takes up your offer).
Your Trusted Therapist for Threesomes,
Alvin Tan
Hey Alvin,
I'm happily attached and my partner's all I can ask for.
We have very regular sex - but the problem is that when he reaches orgasm, he only manages a measly few drops of cum.
How can I increase the "volume" of his cum?
Please help - it's really bothering me.
Thanks.
Cum-a-Chameleon.
Dear Cum-a-Chameleon,
Unless I'm mistaken, the amount of semen a man is capable of shooting is dependent on two factors: genetics and the period of time since his last ejaculation. Since there's nothing much we can do about the former, let's focus on the latter.
If you and your partner have sex on a very regular basis (say, once every two hours like yours truly), chances are he would probably manage less than a teaspoon worth of cum (unlike yours truly).
On the other hand, if you and your partner were to abstain from sex for several weeks, then you can expect a drenched-to-the-skin thunderstorm instead of the usual light drizzle.
Speaking purely from personal sexperience, the amount of manjuice manufactured is also dependent on how hot one's partner is and more importantly, how mind-blowing his technique is (get the hint?).
Still, if you are "happily attached" to a great partner, why are you bothered by something as frivolous as your partner's spewed seed? After all, imagine all the time and effort saved from post-coital cleanup duties!
If you are still bothered, here's my advice: You may wish to consider trading him in for a horse - after all, horses release about 20 times more semen in a single ejaculation than humans.
Your Semen Sexpert,
Alvin Tan
Dear Alvin,
I am in a difficult phase of my life - a defining one. I guess mine should be a common problem with a lot of gay people out there.
The problem is I can't decide whether to be gay or straight! I know I like guys and get turn on by them but at the same time, do not want to be gay because I do not want to hurt my family especially my mum.
I am trying to be straight by dating a woman. I am trying to be straight and want to be straight. But some how, I do not seem to be excited with her. Partly, because she may not be pretty enough to turn me on. Or it may be due to her conservative personality.
However, she is becoming like a shield so that I look normal and make my family happy. I felt so bad when my extended family members found out that I finally have a girlfriend. I know I should not make use of her but I just don't know what else to do.
I'm hoping to date pretty gals - then hopefully get turn on by her and become straight and faithful to her. Do u think it's possible? By the way, I still like to watch petty gals - but also hunky guys. Please advise.
Simply Confused
Dear Simply Confused,
If there's ever a "Let's Play Pretend" contest, you'll win hands down.
Now let's get one thing straight (pardon the pun) - you're not confused, you're in deep denial. You have said it yourself - you like guys and your current girlfriend is merely "a shield."
Dating "pretty girls" in the hope of turning straight reeks of desperation and honestly, can you afford to accumulate more karmic demerit points after the way you have been deceiving your clueless girlfriend (or should I say fag hag)?
You are currently in a "difficult phase" because hiding your sexuality requires a lot of emotional effort and the result is that you don't feel free to express and explore who you really are.
Having said that, I'm not suggesting that you sit your parents down for a "Mom and Dad, I'm a cocksucker" talk right away. You know your circumstances best and you should decide when the time is right to come out - if not to your parents, then at least to yourself or your close friends.
The important thing here is that you acknowledge who you are, accept yourself and then commit yourself to developing yourself as a gay man. Only then can you stop acting like a secretive KGB agent and start living life in an open and fulfilling manner.
Counsellor To Confused Cocksmen,
Alvin Tan
Do you seek deliverance from your problems with your boyfriend/ girlfriend/ one-night stand? Do you spend sleepless nights wrestling with your sexuality or sex partner? Then email your queries to Ask Alvin at editor@fridae.com and have your burdens lifted by Alvin. We regret that we're unable to respond to letters personally.
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And she seems to be really missing out the sexual part of being a lesbian and it just seems like she is more desperate for it.
Well, I think one shouldn't do things that he or she will regret :)
This is a dilemma with ejjaculations because the extremities of load sizes (small trickles and white-washes hehe) have pros and cons.
My most caring and cute boyfriend and I are very comfortable with how much jizzim (been a while for that word to come out) we produce especially since oral is involved.
I remember back to my first oral 'favour' and how the taste was herendous so the amount really didn't matter. When I did learn to appreciate the taste, and many a sausage-sucking-session more, the amount came into play and determined if it was possible to spit it out in one action or a total mouth wash was required!
I am sure many think you are one spoilt and incredibly lucky boy in having regular sex so maybe cut a compromise to get bigger semen-samples.
With all this done, he should cum right along :)
~Fuzzi aka AJ ~
Mr Mask... I mean Confused,
Quit while you are far ahead buddy, this obviously falls under the lieing category - honestly trumps misleading any day.
I can't necessarily sympathise with your situation since I was 'bent-acting' all along and not the straight acting type at school - un/lucky me.
Boy oh boy did my parents not get the hint though; still encouraged to date the f brand (ironically from an all girls school) but after the first date I told the lady I would like to call it off - I guess it was a rather mild version of fixed weddings by the parents.
~ Bent-est boy alive ~
no emotional invovlement, then no hassle
a couple and an extra i would say, is not the best setting for a threeson.. no.. no.. and no..
well, if you are happy with ur partner, why worry about how much he shoots?
well..
IF I CAN CHOOSE, I RATHER CHOOSE NOT TOBE BORN INSTEAD!
a) how your friend would feel when he see you're enjoying with his boyfriend and
b) how his boyfriend feel when you're enjoying with your friend.
I assumed that you certainly do not wish your friendship turns sour if something goes out of control...
=)
True friends and family accept who you really are and NOT what you are..
^-^/
Being invited for a 3sum is a bless.
Two for the price of one.
But what I dont understand is how people could "share" their boyfriend to others?
How could U see Ur boyfriend having sex with other people, right infront of U?
How could U see him kissing someone else, just before Ur eyes?
My ex, when we're still BF, asked me once to have a 3 sum, and I cried with the idea. How could he?
I could accept more if someone cheated behind his BF and not telling him anything. Smooth criminal.
At least he'd feel allright, as long as the secret's safe.
-CarlosAndre-
If U love him very much, then why should U bother with the 'unimportant' thing like "just a few drop of semen".
U're not planning on getting pregnant, are U?
U know, I'd trade Ur place with mine. Having a BF that's 'everything U'd asked for but the load of the semen' could work on me.
-CarlosAndre-
The problem is U're truly a regular gay guy!
Every gay man always wants BEAUTIFUL GIRL for their cover. But the problem is only the NOT BEAUTIFUL GIRL who'd like to be the wife of a gay man.
It happens around me.
U better see it clearly. U want her to be 'just a cover' or U truly want her to be Ur 'real wife'?
If only a cover, then U can accept any girl at all who can accept U gay. Or make an agreement of the marriage. Find a Lesbian perhaps.
If U wanna be her 'real husband', including the sex (Yuck!), then U gotta try hard, Baby.
So U choose. Easy way or hard one?
Or U can find a girl who can accept U gay and be her 'real husband' at the same time.
Have U heard of viagra?
-CarlosAndre-
all clean d/d free, so enjoy it, no hurt feeling, no health and emotional threat.
It's better to be honest upfront. Before starting a relationship it's better to ask each other how open minded each party is, including is casual sex encounter with other guy will be acceptable and forgiveable. If both parties say no no to 3 some or cheating, so be it and stay on the agreement.
How to cum a lot ?
Depend on the genetic and also your diet.....
Here are some recipes for you guys..........
1. Royal Jelly, Bee Pollen
2. Zinc, L-Carnitine, L-Lysine, L-Argynine
(supplements)
Food rich in essential protein is helpful to
boost the sperm count and thicken the juice
3. Stop smoking and doing drugs and alcohol
4. Exersize
5. Sleep well and eat well
6. Drink plenty of water everyday
To make your cum taste better
1. Eat more green and fruits
2. Avoid fish and meat
There are many cum booster supplement on the net but mostly overpriced, you can buy it over the counter and immitate the ingredient for less.
Gays want to be straights ?
Hmmm........
It think it's easier for straights to be gays
Gayness is contagious....... believe me !
Someone needs to learn how to accept himself and respect himself!
Will that solve the problem.??.....you will get the satisfaction of both world........
1- I don't want to hurt my mom or family by telling them I'm gay
2- I'm going to date a girl and pretend that I love her.
3- I feel miserable inside because I know I actually love men and not women.
What's the result of this:
1- You're miserable
2- Your girlfriend is miserable because she feels there's something going on
3- Your mom is miserable because you dont marry the girl and get babies
So now everybody is miserable BECAUSE YOUR A COWARD AND YOU LIE TO EVERYBODY.
Get real!
Stop lying. Be true to yourself. Tell you family and friends that you're gay.
That's when you know who your real friends are.
And if your mom loves you, she'll love you no matter if you're gay or str8.
From my own experience because I'm out to everybody in any country, most people are fine with gays and some think it's really cool. Those that don't like gays, i just dont want to associate with in the first place.
It's easy to say don't get emotionally involved. It's so hard to do. It's hard to resist second nature like emotions..
But first, ask urself this; r u being true (n fair) to urself? U didnt mention abt ur age but if u're in ur late teens, I guess u might be in denial stage which Alvin had mentioned earlier. It may be temporary.
Its foolish to pretend, act and force urself to like, then in turn love a girl. It doesn't work this way. U must think long term. In the long run, if it doesn't succeed, u ended up hurting more people that u love & care all this while.
U might want to consider see a psychologist/ counselor, if you r serious about 'changing'. There is nothing to be ashamed of. There are many avenues if u are really serious abt this. Consult a close friend or a religious teacher wen u r ready. There r also books on dealing this kind of 'confusion' if u need time.
So remember, ur happiness is as much importance to you as your mom but at least, please, stop lying to urself & get immediate help. The choice is yours at the end of the day. Not da counselor nor da preacher nor psychologist. Remember, life is beautiful. God is fair. Ur family love you.
One person ALWAYS ends up left out. As cock-craved as I think I am, I notice that one(exuding my own!) is more than sufficient....quite unlike my other weakness for Hermes bags where the more I have, the more I covet.
Who gets left out? Why, the 3rd party, of course. The one person that the other two are willing to lose.
My mother asked me if I would marry even though I was gay and it was a straight out no because I don't think it would be fair to her OR to me.
If I were you, I will just not touch this with a ten foot post. Stay out of other people relationship, what goes around, comes around. Good luck.
but not with a couple, especially if you are close to either one of them... heart matters, tricky stuff.
for a couple, the invited one is a no 'matter of the heart" fun over when its over. its fun if all 3 of you know where to draw the line.
as a guest, you should act like one.. you're a co-star. dont take the spotlight, wait for directions. once its over... pack and leave, if you stay closer, ie for dinner next day or window shopping on the weekend.... things can and will get messy. so if you want more invitations, be a polite guest... know who you are.
it's just plain fun, nothing serious.. then you should enjoy the ride as far as you can. threesome anyone?
But the moment you see your love one's satifisying face while performing a dominating role... and his flirt in a cloud-nine climax... i tell you... the feeling is terribly bad... BAD...
So conclusion... DON't repeat the mistakes others have done...
Not to mention, whay if you got marriged with her, and bring in children that you can not provide love to them. You are talking about ruined her life and denail her the chance of finding happiness. At the end all your family and hers are going to hate you forever. That will be completely opposite what your true intention. :) Good luck, and he honest with yourself for once.
but make sure its australian made milo.
give it a day or two.. his cum wil be thick and loaded.. work for me. no harm trying or if you still not happy.. i can loan you my cum.. shot rite nex to your bf.. or like alvin said.. get s real stud on four legs... hahah... mwuah!
(THIS IS NOT AN ADVERTISEMENT>>> Nestle can donate some money to my blog..)
MM Goh Chok Tong already said it - some people are born like this and some people are born like that, its only natural.
You were born gay - it is only natural. So be gay naturally and be proud of it.
Based on my experience, unless it is a casual and anonymous three ways, things can get a little more complicated. You already have a good freindship with them, don't let something stupid or a few minutes excitement change that into something sour and bad :-(. Be storng !!!
By the way, You forgot one more thing, 3 times the STD. :)
same here! i ve a foreign gf who has big boobs. it turns me on. but now on enough to wanna bonk her.
if i see a man with curvy pelvis. that turn me on...but the funny thing, i yearn for him to bonk me.
NOW THAT'S CONFUSION!
simonsay
Romance
I'd like to put you in a trance
All over
Erotic, erotic, many hands all over your body
All over your body
And to hope that pretty girls can make you straighter is so pre-historic ...so last year ...can you please keep up ?
Bottom life is, have balls and own up to your responsibility as a human, a son or brother ...whatever it is ...please consider the girl, her family and her life ...and if this does make you realise you selfish and inhuman you are ...go date gorrila or monkeys lah ...geramnya
Good times and good partners are a dime a dozen in our community in Singapore. Wake up and smell the coffee!
Er...who said that?!
Kind Regards,
Ed the talking horse.
4-some far better. You can take a break, swap, watch, make a movie, go for a nice cuppa tea in the interval. Far more choice :-)
Actually, 5-some even better.
Or... ;-)
I shudder to think that my father used to cum like I do. Is it genetics? Any feed back and thoughts are appriciated.
Simply confused is not confused! Simply confused is not trying to please his mom or himself! He just wana show-off.. dat he has a gf.. blah blah blah!!! He is far from confused! He knows what he wants. Like Alvin said... he's a big cocksucker!!! If he could only did yoga.. he will be married to himself!!!
However, should you, caesar2003, prefer a more conventional means of reaching Alvin Tan, allow this Princess to refer you to the final paragraph of each Ask Alvin column which states:
".. email your queries to Ask Alvin at editor@fridae.com and have your burdens lifted by Alvin. We regret that we're unable to respond to letters personally."
WHAT IN THE WORLD IS WRONG with us people anyway? Anyone would wanna lots and lots of cum.. but not on your own bed of course.. the feeling of having to clean up the mess with the amount of things to wash is just so turn off..
do it in a public place then.. hotel.. showers.. watever... :)
I have known my hubby for 2 years but we don't have sex before,my hubby is a bi.
Now that I'm older, I don't shoot as big and far. When I take Lecithin, it's like I'm 16 again.
Of course, if your a "dribbler", it won't make you shoot like a pornstar.
You can google it under cum and lecithin.
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