Dear Alvin,
What are male nipples for since they serve no apparent purpose? UK-based blogger gaybanker wrote on his blog, ''Gay guys, far more than straight guys, get aroused by nipple play'' Is that true? We ask readers to share your experiences in the space below.
Help! Help!
Thanks!
Young and Clueless
Dear Young and Clueless,
The term "Dairy Queen" refers to a gay man who enjoys dressing up like the milkmaid from the Dutch Lady Milk advertisement.
I'm kidding, and I also doubt he was making any reference to the popular international fast food chain of the same name.
It actually refers to gay men who love to suck on nipples - although they are also known, rather unkindly, in some circles as "Unweaned Queens."
Dating a Dairy Queen could expose your petite protrusions to anything from light licking to tiny bites, gentle tugs to hardcore tweaking etc. If you enjoy nipple play, it would be a match-made-in-homo-heaven.
Some parting advice: Dating a ravenous Dairy Queen could leave you with perpetual nipple hard-ons or de-sensitised nipples. Worse, dating an inexperienced (but still ravenous) Dairy Queen could leave you with wounded nipples if he starts munching on them as if he was chewing betel nuts.
Lactose Intolerant,
Alvin Tan
Experts say: "Sex researchers Masters and Johnson, who made 1960s history by inviting heterosexual and homosexual couples into their research rooms and watching them have sex, were struck by how nipple play marked the difference between homo and hetero sex. Nearly 75 percent of the gay couples Masters and Johnson observed began their lovemaking by nipple stimulation, with frequent penile erections resulting." Read more at homohealth.org.
Alvin,
I really really like this guy. We went out for a couple of weeks and enjoyed each other's company very much. But we recently found out that we're both bottoms! My friends tell me that I should call it off. I'm very upset and confused. What should I do?
Hit Rock Bottom
Dear Hit Rock Bottom,
Let me share with you a long-standing joke in the gay community:
Q: What do two bottoms do in the bedroom?
A: Hair and make-up.
Insensitive joke aside, there are two differing views to your dilemma.
There are members of the gay community who hold the view that a relationship will only work if it comprises a top who's the "penetrator" and a bottom who's the "receiver" during sexual intercourse. If you mention your situation to them, they will brand you a "lesbian" (no offence to our Sapphic Sisters). Then again, do you really care what these naysayers say when they tend to be bedroom bores with their stick-to-the-routine sex?
On the flip side of the coin, there are members of the gay community who think that there are more ways of achieving sexual fulfillment than just anal penetration. To them, it's possible for two bottoms (or for that matter, two tops) to have an enduring relationship. All that's needed is a vivid imagination, a sense of adventure and of course, a double-headed dildo.
Blessed With A Beautiful Bottom,
Alvin Tan
Dear Alvin,
S and I used to be together four years ago before I broke off with him which hurt him real bad. One year later, I realise that he's the perfect one for me. From then till now, all the guys I've dated failed to meet up to my expectations (perhaps the benchmark I have set is S).
Yes, I seriously want him back desperately because he's everything I'm looking for (I know him inside out). Just one month back, he just broke off with his bf of two and a half years. I was overjoyed although he still loves his ex lots.
S knows that I've been waiting for him for the past four years but the timing wasn't right. It's either I'm attached or he's attached. Friends have reminded me the past is past and that the feeling of getting back together will be different. But I chose to ignore them.
I want him back.
Enlighten me please,
M
p.s. We are very good friends still.
Dear M,
Let me get this straight: You broke your ex-boyfriend's heart, threw away a long-term relationship, went for fun-rides on the dating merry-go-round, realised he's the best person for you, became "overjoyed" when he broke up with his boyfriend, and now you want him back "desperately."
Honestly, given your behaviour, I have no idea why your ex-boyfriend hasn't welcome you back with open arms.
Now, assuming that your ex-boyfriend still loves you (and that's a BIG assumption), you would probably need to grovel, admit that you made a big boo-boo back then and shed some copious tears - in other words, just do what Bill Clinton did during the "Monicagate" scandal.
Then find an appropriate time to speak to him, let him know how you really feel and more importantly, how wrong you were. Tell him everything you want to say and everything he needs to hear - but try not to pressurise him into making a decision or you may run the risk of getting him to agree only because he's on the rebound.
However, the crux of the matter is not whether you want him back - it's whether he wants you back at all. Here's a hint: There's a reason why you are now "very good friends" instead of "boyfriends."
Expert Exorcist of Ex-Boyfriends,
Alvin Tan
Do you seek deliverance from your problems with your boyfriend/ girlfriend/ one-night stand? Do you spend sleepless nights wrestling with your sexuality or sex partner? Then email your queries to Ask Alvin at editor@fridae.com and have your burdens lifted by Alvin. We regret that we're unable to respond to letters personally.
讀者回應
I TOTALLY agree with you ! Two bottoms can definately have great fun TOGETHER! Anyway most of the tops (so called) i date well..... are better off being bottom . Really . And one more thing it is never too late to be educated and to learn; I am a true blue bottom but recently had great sex with another very sexy and hot bottom ... and yes i did anal with him and wow never knew being top was so fun ... i couldn't get enough of 'humping'. It was really a new eye-opener for me and yup i will sure put my new found skill to use !
Jason
big and black?
sensitive or insensitive?
is true that bottoms are better lovers?
tops all very selfish right?
Was wondering what it has to do with writing daily experiences...hmm!
on one hand is your assertion that 2 bottoms can hv great fun together while on the other, when u had sex wif that bottom partner of yours, weren't u the TOP in that respect??
when we say 2 bottoms having sex it simply means both must stick to their roles. If one tops the other it is no longer "lesbianism" ok??
hello , what type of nipples PLU likes ? I guess its individual preferrence ...
I think if you know how to massage , kiss, touch, feel, finger , suck and lick the right point at the right time ...I think you can enjoy as much ...dont you think ?
You just need to exploit of the posibility of sexual advanture, don't be just stuck in on way, bottom or top. It is very boring. :P
Learn from your mistake, next time think, value, and eveluate your relationship before you trash it. Remembered grass is always greener on the other side. :)
Go figure, who knew it even had a name?
Ouch, not so hard, honey!
joebaltimore
My firends and I always enjoy your article!
I think there's a sensible solution to whether or not two bottoms would work out. Are they the stereotypical bottom/submissive type? Two stereotypical bottoms will not work. However, if both just like bottoming for pleasure, it might work..
I suppose all up that makes me an oral masseue?
Nipples are created to make life easy for men ... softly touching it, gently tweaking it and gradually pinching and pulling it harder and harder ... and watching my partner sighing with pleasure ... never fail to give me a raging hard on ... :))
gaybanker.blogspot.com/2007/02/are-you-dairy-queen.html
GB xxx
Not sure I am a "Dairy Queen" though, even I like playing nipples and enjoyed being sucked. I guess I am all right, not that extreme.
Thank you for the information!
steve prasat, Brussels
Amidst the hilarity are strewn sharp ascerbic observation of human failings - in both camps!
Hooray for Alvin
I am in a diffcult phase of my life; a defining one. I guess mine should be a common problem with alot of gay pple out there.
The problem is i can't decide whether to be gay or straight! I know i like guys and get turn on by them but a the same time, in all due respect, do not one to be gay cos i do not want to hurt my family especially my mum. I am trying to be straight by dating a gal. I am trying to be straight and want to be straight. But some how i do not seem to be excited with her. Partly, because she may not be pretty enough to turn me on. or it may be due to her conservative pesonality.However, she is becoming like a shield so that i look normal and make my family happy. I felt so bad when my extended family members found out that i finally have a girlfriend. I know i should not make use of her but i just don't know what else to do.
I hoping to date pretty gals and hopefully get turn on by her and become straight and faithful to her. Do u think its possible? BtW i still like to watch petty gals but also hunky guys...SIMPLY CONFUSED. PLS ADVICE....
That aside, I was pretty much shocked and devastated after I was the one who was "thrown away" after 14 years. I felt empty and abandoned and although I am doing better and getting over it, I still can't shake the feelings of anger and resentment for the hurt and disruption in my life.
I'm glad that M has realized what he had was good and what he wanted, but the ex might not want to worry about "what if this happens again?" or "how can I trust him again?".
They are probably still good friends because they know each other so well. M can be hopeful of a reunion, but should be ready for a possible let down.
I am a secret gay. Only 2 guys know that I am a transvestite gay. One of them has lost contact with me. So only one guy is left. I act and dress like a normally man daily.
I hv sex with the other guy occasionally. Of course I always play the female role.
however, it is such a miserable hypocritical life. Wish I am daring enough to be my real self. However I can't take the shame, if people I know finds out my secret. Any advise, before I grow crazy.
請先登入再使用此功能。